WIN 10,000 POINTS! "Who is Simon Gray?"

will the real simon gray please stand up!!

"I was born in Irvine, Scotland on May 1st 1976 and I have graced the streets of North Ayrshire and surrounding areas ever since.

My main interest lies in computers, web designing and music, and I studied Computing Science at Paisley University. I love to write websites and I have designed a few sites on the internet, some personal and some business. During my time I have put my hand to a few musical instruments including saxophone, cornet, bass guitar and drums to name a few.

I spend most of my free time with my really gorgeous girlfriend Sarah, creating websites and listening to music. I also contribute to various newsgroups and forums including this one. I have written the odd song here and there (for the chosen few to hear) but have never had the patience to do anything about it.

My favourite music is Synth Pop, although I also like "some" dance music. I am a massive fan of the TV shows Seinfeld, BlackAdder, Bottom and also of the Back To The Future films (sorry). My favourite actors are Michael J Fox, Woody Allen and Samuel L Jackson.

Do I work now? well if that's what you call it. I currently work for Securicor Omega Express as a support analyst. Coffee & donuts anyone? It's a hard life.

For those of you who have been desperate to know what I look like, you can quite easily just go and check out my Webcam area or Digital Cam which has a whole bunch of images for you to drool over."


maybe this guy..but I think not..

www.simongray.com...

[Edited on 27-8-2003 by astrocreep]

Originally posted by Fury
He's PFC sp4wnc4mp0r LOL!!!!11

Hell no!

Player : S�ealth�~�G�~
Rank : LTG - 3-Star General (16)
Character Type: Delta Sniper
Weapon Of Choice: Barrett .50 Cal Sniper Rifle

OK my turn.

I guess if I'm right and you don't want it up you can delete it.



I think Simon is on the right and happens to be a big DR Who fan.Difficult to see but he looks a little like Simon le bon.

www.richardwho.com...

Do I get 10,000 points?



[Edited on 27-8-2003 by John bull 1]

Simon looks like an illegitimate offspring of the Royal Family, bearing a remarkable resemblance to Prince William.

This is a blessing or curse depending on your point of view. Simon has chosen to be a recluse for fear of being stalked by groupies, being assassinated (he does not have the luxury of the accompanient of royal security). Occasionally he ventures out publicly in disguise but it's still a lonely existence so he created ATS, his saving grace.

John bull 1

You are absolutely right that Simon is a big Dr Who fan, but not in the photo.

I think he's just overstated his Star Trek fandom around here to be American-friendly.... he is very much more Dr Who and Babylon 5 oriented.

I will be touching down with an expose in approx. 16 hours.

[simon gray] [is no mr gay] he is [a grimy son] who eats [mayo rings] he [go's in army] twice a week, he keeps an [argos in my] house, when it [rains go my] shed to keep dry...and stay out of the [rainy smog], he is a fraud who is really named [gary simon], he said blade runner [im so angry] you told everybody that..

argh mental block

Blade Runner

That was a great [noisygram] you just sent!

Will the Avatar be unmasked?

Wooooohooo! Result!!

Originally posted by MaskedAvatar
Blade Runner

That was a great [noisygram] you just sent!

damn i coulda used noisy gram aswell i dunno what for but oh well!!..

erm simon gray is a noisygram its like a striper gram but instead of taking of his clothes he takes off his one man band suit...

[Edited on 27-8-2003 by The Blade Runner]

Just follow this link

www.ffolio.com...

SIMON GRAY has just published a novella called Breaking Hearts whose high point, to my filthy mind, is the juicy encounter between a lesbian dominatrix and her seducee. Hot stuff, I tell him. Was it embarrassing to write?
"No," he says, unhelpfully. Oh come on, I persist. It must have been a bit. Lesbian sex - it's most men's naughtiest fantasy. "I wrote it in Greece - it's a very erotic place."
Hardly the most intelligent line of questioning to pursue with one of Britain's leading playwrights, but by this stage I've grown desperate. The Simon Gray I'd expected to meet was a deliciously indiscreet raconteur, bursting with bilious anecdotes. The frail, diffident 60-year-old sitting before me, however, is a pale shadow of the outspoken, chain-smoking lush revealed in diaries such as How's that for Telling 'em, Fat Lady? (his diary of the American tour of The Common Pursuit) and Fat Chance (his account of the the great Cell Mates disaster of 1995).


It goes on:

Unfortunately his health has conspired against him. He is still weak after undergoing surgery for a punctured colon, and to make matters worse he has been advised to give up his beloved drink.
A tall order, one might think, for a man who used to consume three bottles of champagne a day before moving on to the Glenfiddich. But Gray insists that it hasn't been an ordeal. "I quite like some aspects of it. Like not feeling irritably comatose all of the time."
Oddly, he says, alcohol never had that big an effect on him. His legs got wobbly, but he didn't lose control, grow boisterous or end up with hangovers. "I could think in exactly the same way whether I was drinking or not." He has since learned from a specialist that he is among the 30 per cent of heavy drinkers who can booze with apparent impunity. But if drink had no effect, why did he do it? "Habit," he says.

My own addition:

Some think that Gray's drinking is due to his troubled past. As a younger man, he was part of the British special forces...in a still classified unit. His missions took him to the jungles of Vietnam, when eventually, he was captured by the Viet Cong. Facing various daily tortures, such as bamboo shoots under fingernails, and horrible beatings, he languished along with other POWs. One night, he awoke to see the camp deserted, and numerous piles of ash, where presumably, soldiers would be. A light had awakened him, and he saw a disc shaped craft landing. To his surprise, it wasn't an alien that stepped out, but an American serviceman. He gathered the prisoners, and got them aboard the craft. Days later, Simon awoke in a military hospital in England. Though he was certain they had tried to erase the memory, he remembered fragments, and sought hypnotic regression to learn the details. He soon left the military, and has dedicated himself to learning more about the secrets being kept from us....and him....



[Edited on 27-8-2003 by Gazrok]

I think the playwright is about 70 years old.

60 years old, but who's counting....hehe...

Where do we begin? Oh yes, Simon Gray was a son of a small dirt farmer named Hazey Gray and his wife Ima Gray, in a small town called Chicken Wing, located about 400 miles from Reality, it was a small community of hard working alcoholics. Strange as it may be, they were mostly names after colors of the rainbow, the greens, the indigos, the Reds, poor Simon, whose last name was Gray, was an outcast to the community children, picked upon daily for his knowlege of the inane and his archaic manner of dress, he learned to ignore the masses and focus on his central interest, grass watching, oh how he honed his skills. Fast forward to 10 years later, we see Mr. Gray, now the world's foremost authority on grass watching and paint drying, getting bored with the daily routine So one day he picks up his Knickers, packs his 1973 Tandy computer , and drove his 1966 Studebaker up to Reality, to start a new life as a computer technician. Setting aside the beating to death of a British Prime Minister with a stick of oleo margarine, we move forward to 1997. Simon who is now known as the world's authority on Internet Othello, get's an idea, he wants to start a website that talks about the "dirty" things he couldn't talk about in chicken wing. Unfortunately for Simon, the rest of the world misunderstood his goal and transformed his website into a hub of intellectuals who deal with world events on a daily basis. It is now 2003 and Simon, now the worlds foremost authority on paranoia and German basket weaving, sits on a rock watching the grass grow, wonders how he got here, and immediatly swears off Gin for the rest of his life.

The End

Do I win?

[Edited on 27-8-2003 by Shining Wizard]

Simon Gray...
The man we know as Simon Gray was the result of a disasterous attempt by MI7 ( way above top secret UK government agency, that's why you haven't heard of them ) to breed alien-human hybrids with aubergine plants ( for all you ignorant yanks that's the proper name for an "Eggplant" ) on their shoulders, who would be capable of sustaining a voyage to another solar system. The experiment went horribly wrong when a clumsy lab assistant spilled a bag of ammonium nitrate fertiliser on Subject Q46, the one you now call "Simon", while it was still in incubation. The aubergine plants grew to a massive size, causing Q46 to mutate into a hyper-intelligent being with super aubergine powers. Q46 broke free from captivity on October 3rd, 1967, strangling the one inept guard to the incubation room with his magic aubergine tenticles, and left the top secret base, heading for Nottinghamshire. Here he lived for the next two years, learning to read, write and play the oboe with the help of a wise old owl.

Finally, when Q46 was well enough educated to leava for the city and get a job, the owl gave him the name by which we know him. Simon Gray.

Simon headed for Oxford where he obtained a masters degree in Paranoia, and a PhD in Electronic Engineering. He then moved to London's West End where he experimented with crack coc aine and got a job at a TV and Radio repair shop. Here he worked for the next 26 years, gradually hoarding spare parts from electronic appliances he repaired, which he planned to use in building a time machine.

However, when his creation was finally complete, things didn't go to plan. Simon was thrown into another dimension, where he encountered a pink fuzzy alien from a distant planet in the distant future. The pink fuzzy alien told Simon that they greys planned to take over earth. It told Simon all about Roswell, about Area 51, about everything...

Simon awoke two years later in a back street in Newcastle with a sharp pain in his side, and found that his hair had turned purple, and that he had numerous strange piercings all over his body. He decided right there and then to tell the world everything the pink fuzzy alien had told him. Simon put together a website, named AboveTopSecret.com, and for years to follow, word reached thousands all around the world.

Simon is 36 years old, although he has not aged like a human would, resides in Southern England, and enjoys uncovering conspiracies, remote viewing, smoking crack, and skinning cats to make carpet slippers for the elderly. He uses his super aubergine powers to fight crime, and to rescue babies from burning buildings. In 1998, he saw R.E.M in concert in London. They tried to put him in a stew. Simon is not very fond of vegetarians any more.

Personally I thought my story was better than anyone else's by far. Please consider me for the award of 10,000 points.

[Edited on 1-9-2003 by CiderGood_HeadacheBad]

From his avatar it clear that he is Counter Strike bot with very high AI level.

The avatar is from Delta Force: Black Hawk Down, but Counter Strike does have it's appeals too.

Some of you are actually touching on my actual existence in here.... among the fiction.

has the 10 k been awarded yet? I could have another go. Going for realism here. Some lengthy epic...

edit - you know what. After reading all about Simon gray I don't think I want maker her into someone else. Feels kinda nasty to do that. I think I'll make a pertty picture or something.

[Edited on 27-8-2003 by ktprktpr]

We need more time!! How about till the end of the week?

The son of the guy that makes that tea captain jean luc picard likes so much,earl gray,hot.