Oh boy...Its been awhile. I am starting slowly to start to get more creative but for some reaons its just not working out like i planned. I need to find a new angle so its fresh in my mind and starts the flurry of activity. Well anyways here is something i thought up this morning.


-Aza

Sleep

I caught your call
I seen it all
I never though that I would see the fall
My mind it plays these tricks on me
Makes it hard for me to see
Things that could of been


Am I so blind that I can not see
that you think the world of me
And yet i push you to the street
Someone wake me out of this sleep!


Through the pain and torture inside
I have found my place to hide
Never being the one to decide
Will i give up and die?
Still you stand right by my side
Ever waiting for me turn my eyes
and see you there the whole time.

Am I so blind that I can not see
that you think the world of me
And yet i push you to the street
Someone wake me out of this sleep!

This terror inside.. is eating me alive
burning my eyes...making me cry
Crushing my heart beating inside
Making me wish that i would just die


2006 Jace

all is dark, a deep abyss
nothing left, eternaless
far away my mind has gone
many seeds my life has sewn
accompanied with this blasphemy
what the hell has happened to me
life was once all fun and games
Now I'm facing this disdain
lifelessness has come to pass
leaving life an empty glass
empty from this life of mine
death has gotten me right on time

And so he shall walk into death’s court
And demand to see he who rules the realm,
And be beaconed by himself,
And the darkness shall rise within and strike him down anew

Thus realizing all he hath slew
And unto hells gates was he gone,
Far far down, to the place hotter than the sun,
Hearing the last shot of the gun.

"Bang!!", was the noise
Then all was gone.
Darkness ensued,
The burning consumed

And all was left was an empty shell,
A soul burning eternally in hell,
And a ghoul to sell.

So I bid you welcome,
Welcome to my new hell,
Welcome to the deepest well,
Hope you rot and burn well.

[edit on 15-6-2006 by Killer 5]

Wow. It's been awhile ppl. Yeah been kinda busy. I move from one coast to another. I got a brand new house and new job. I've not been thinking about writing too much poetry. I know i really should start getting back into the swing of doing it but its gonna be slow from now on ..just to get back into the mindset. Creativity that was used for poems and stories has been directed towards requirements for my jobs doing some system development. But I am kinda taking a break on that and wanting to feel that old creativity hit me again. ahh it feel good when those juices flow back into the brain. So with that, my first new poem in a long while. Enjoy

-Aza

Change

Moving down the way
With nothing more to say.
Still I feel it is coming now to get me.
Stare at the light
As my day turns to night.
All the while, I know it can see me.

Please wait, I know it’s too late
I don’t want to take, this darkness into me
The hate is now beginning to overtake and I can’t wait
But I know that you won’t want to see what makes me

Darkness by my side,
Feeling dead yet still alive.
But I can feel it, start to poison me.
Pain now moving on
Swiftly like a short song.
Seeping my life away from what I wanted to be

Please wait, before it’s too late
I don’t want to take, this darkness into me
The hate is starting to overtake and I can’t wait
But I know that you won’t like what makes me.

Nowhere have I seen, the shred of what was me
Still I go down the path in front of me.
Keep moving along, nothing to hope for when I’m gone
Darkness coming out, out to get me

Wait, before it’s too late
I don’t want to take, this deadness inside of me
The hate is starting to overtake and I feel like I just can’t wait
But I know that I was out to get me.


2006 Jace.

"Alright Then"

I typed this out awhile ago during a pretty low time in my life. The date on the file
says 5/20/03, so apparently that's when I typed it. I really don't write poetry, but every once in awhile I feel the need to. I haven't written any other poems since, and really don't know how long before that I wrote the last one.

But this poem can definitely fall under the 'dark' title. Here it is.

And so what if the world is a place i do not belong.
And so what if my soul treads alone among strangers.
Among enemies.
So what is to become of me.
My mortal self i have no real concern.
But what of my conciousness.
To where does that.
My very essence,
Go to?
My journey is disappointment.
My destination is unknown and unsought for.
I meander along.
Playing the part.
Somewhat.
And so what if this void encompasses me.
And so what if I fall into its depths.
With a smile.
There is peace in the void.
But i fear there is no return from it.
But it beckons.
It's allure is ever present.
Ever rampant.
It knows me.
And I it.
It knows i hurt.

A badge, a gun, a conscience torn,
Honor, courage, a face that’s worn.
Options gone and life that’s past.
The end in sight, my God at last.

The bottle near and empty now,
A few more days are left somehow.
A few more nights to sit alone,
To dream of family, friends and home.

I chose this life, this path I took,
I placed my hand upon that book.
Years have passed and still I stand,
Evil still respects my hand.

But soon I go to meet my friends,
My comrades, family at life’s end.
Soon the pain will fade away,
Soon my life will fade to gray.


Semper

Sorry about being so dead. I've been busy since I got a job promotion. I really need to get right back into the swing of things. I promise to get back to the poetry grind... and soon


-Aza

Ok So I've written something new. Its still pretty fresh in my mind. So i figured i'd post it. enjoy


-Aza


Storm

Cold and tired, the sun has already set for me.
It's windy and I'm broken, why won't you let me be?
As the darkness starts to evelope me, why do you reach out.
It is swallowing my body and my soul, I can hear you scream and shout.

This storm has torn, everthing that I've been.
whipped down,pushed around all that I've seen.
While it drag me in, I see you won't let me go.
As it turns, I burn never wanting you to know.
Of all that I've done
All that I've said
My time is now and my bill must be paid.

Dawn breaks a new day, yet the nightmare still tears away.
This soul has a new hole, filling up with cold.
I feel so hollow, so empty
yet I hear your voice still calling back to me.

This storm has torn, everthing that I've been.
whipped down,pushed around all that I've seen.
While it drag me in, I can hear that you won't let me go.
As it turns, I've burned wanting you to know.
Of all that I've done
All that I've said
Before what's left of me is dead.

It is done and there is sun, shining across the land
You reach down, to the ground grabbing my hand.
But my touch has grown cold, My heart grown old.
Looking into my eyes, there is nothing there.
Begging me to look at you, nothing but a cold stare.

That storm has torn, everthing that I've been.
whipped down,pushed around all that I've seen.
While it dragged me in, I could hear that you wouldn't let me go.
As it turned, I burned wanting you to know.
Of all I've done
All I've said
Thought it has left me dead.


2006 Jace

Oh how I love dark poetry
never enough grim and gloomy
Every madness and misstep,
every hollow breasted nest
of empty headed greed
has a rhymning meter,
a candle lit with fever,
for the players of its' need.

Hey I got a little something new to post. I wrote it just recently. I hope you enjoy it. I'm trying to get back to my darker roots.


-Aza

Fake

The dark thoughts and darker lies
Betrayed by my eyes
Never cared and I never do
About the feelings that come from you.

This time I won’t let go
This time I’ve got to know
This way is how I grow
It is all I’ve got to show

Never been
Never seen
Never could feel
I’m never real

You tell me that I’ve broken you
What did you expect me to do?
I’ve had much more then I can take
Get for darkness sakes

This time I won’t let go
This time I’ve got to know
This way is how I grow
It is all I’ve got to show

Never would
Never could
Never done
I’ve never won.

How does it end? It never will
To kill everything I feel
Walk away
From the day
To never stay

2006 Jace

I feal refreshed. Holidays always seem to get creative juices going. I've written a poem about a tainted man. I'll let you guys figure out what he's done. Enjoy

-Aza




Dirt


Blind from the flith,encrusting me.
Smell like the flith I am suppose to be
My hands i cannot feel
Feeling nothing about what is real.

Wash this hand there goes away the sin
Wash the other hand then the guilt comes crawling in.
This dirt inside won't ever wash away.
So as Dirt I must stay.

There is nothing to keep me warm.
Dirt drains me of my scorn.
No tender looks to heal my pain
My flith leaks from me again.

So what about this sin?
I've started what I've began.
I followed through until then end.
Why must this hurt my from within?

Wash this hand there goes away the sin
Wash the other hand then the guilt comes crawling in.
This dirt inside won't ever wash away.
So as Dirt I must stay.

2006 Jace

I based this one off a song and kind of off bad relationships. Everyone has em or at least one (bleh sometimes two). I don't deal well with verbal fights. I shuffle em off. They either get resolved there and then or thats it. This life is too short to be bickering our petty little lives over some stupid words thrown out at anger and spite. Enjoy

-Aza

Sure (ode to my pain)

Take a look of what I've become!
Take a look of what you've done!
Take a look at everyone!
At least I'm not the only one

Sure go on whatever you say.
I'm getting better everyday.
You're not wrong, I guess i'm right
So long I don't fight
And If you keep going on this way.
Things are sure to go astray
You're not wrong, I'm not right
So long I won't fight


See the fire, that you lit not caring about my pain.
Too bad it's done again
for that ship has sailed, now you've gone and failed.
My hearts still pale but that all ends this time.

Sure go on whatever you say.
I'm getting better everyday.
You're not wrong, I guess i'm right
So long I don't fight
And If you keep going on this way.
Things are sure to go astray
You're not wrong, I'm not right
So long I won't fight

2006 Jace

Well i spent a good deal of time updating some systems and whatnot. But i've written something new. I'm tempted to do a holiday themed one, which I'll probably do just don't know when.

-Aza

Hole

With all this dirt around, how can I come clean?
It is amazing what you'll do just to stay sane.
Washing off the flith, I can't believe at what I see.
By cleaning myself, I've made a hole out of me.

What you see is what you get.
And it's so hard to tell the truth.
Wallowing in my own ambitions.
Dirty, stinking and filthy too.

When will the mud stop flying?
How long til it ends?
Not once but twice removed.
Become the bitterest of friends.

What you see is what you get.
And it's so hard to tell the truth.
Wallowing in your own ambitions.
Dirty, stinking and filthy you.

Well I've tried to stop the harvest.
I've walked down that road.
They still think of their agendas.
Still wallowing in the mold.

What you see is what you get.
And it's so hard to tell the truth.
Wallowing in their ambitions.
Dirty, stinking and filthy too.


2006 Jace

Here everyone I had a pretty good holiday. I've written something new not so dark but dark in essence as we are dark creatures. So many things have happened this year, both good and bad. Bad is winning though I think. Basically this poem sums up a few things. It's really how I feel in general how this life of waxworks is going. Enjoy and if not please I don't mind criticism.


-Aza


Here's to you

Do you feel the same way, waking up everyday?
Like a roller coaster gone haywire, when will someone put out this fire?
All the death and the pain, I'm just angry from the hurt and the strain.
Dealing with the insane, who is left to take away our pain?

Here's to you, that you find your way.
Maybe not right now or even today.
I just hope you want to come to play
Because it’s not living anymore, it’s just staying safe.

What this new stash of computed and cumulated lies.
Where's the hope for something better in our lives?
When people kill just because they wanted to.
Have we gone so far, in this quagmire that we can't even stop it?

Here's to you, that you find your way.
Maybe not now or even today.
I just hope find the way to play
Because it’s not living anymore, it’s just pointless slaying.

There will come a time when you will.
Stop to find the time and just chill
Think about what going on and what you can do
It's not just about me or you.
It's about numerous uncounted lives hanging in the balance.
Not just people but the ones also around them.
We screwed this up; it just doesn't affect only you.
We got million upon million of others living with us too.

Here's to you, that you find your way.
Maybe not now or even today.
I just hope find the way to play
Because we're not living anymore, we're just fading away.


2007 Jace.

Very Nice imagery, I really like the way I can feel like i'm there. Vivid descriptions bring us in all the way too the end.

Bah again I disappear for awhile. I really dislike doing that. It's hard to think about it when I've got so many distractions. Child, wife, pets, job,and so on. So here is something new that I have come up with. Enjoy

-Aza

Addicted

It’s something that’s inside my mind, something I can’t reach.
I try to think with clarity, but it’s nothing that I seem.
I don’t know how to change my ways or end them on the scene.

It’s a locked door no more, the emptiness galore, I’ve walked down that path again.
I feel so sore, walking through the door, what option do I have again?
These things inside my head they start to yell and scream.
Yelling in my head, that I’m never what I seem.

You see the door, wonder what’s in store, the things they shift again.
I’ve fallen on the floor; my body’s feels wracked again.
Turn around and see you there, I’ve got to yell and scream.
I’m yelling things to turn you away, from something that I’ve been.

Closing the door, I see the tears in your eyes.
I can’t let you in, for fear of all the lies.
But I can’t have you living here, thought it truly pains to see.
The way you looked at me, with everything I’ve been.
I don’t know what going to happen to me, but I don’t think I will die.
All I see is that look in your eyes.


2007 Jace

I watched the whole thing, even at work. It disgusted me. I wrote a poem in remembrance of the act. Hopefully honoring the dead, and cursing the one that caused this.


-Aza

Past

Sinking even deeper still, the feeling I get from in this room.
Crimson stains that I find, seeping deeper into my mind.
I can still smell the silver pill’s blast, rushing as it flew right past.

Something wrong, it never seems to last.
Once done, it comes back from the past.
Their lives go out way too fast.

The sounds of running, down the hall
My friends bent over and started to fall.
The floor stained from crimson tears.
The pain of something stemmed over years.

Something wrong, it never seems to last.
Once done, it comes back from the past.
Their lives go out way too fast.

It is done, but far from being over.
In the years, maybe there will be some closure.
But as for now, it is hard to say.
I’m likely to never forget that day.


In remembrance of the 33 lives and hundreds of other lives hurt and tortured because of one person that cared for nothing and of nothing, may he rest in Nothing. Forever.

Apr 16 2007

Jace

Azathoth thank you for posting that poem,

It reflects the day well and a moment again in hostory that we will no forever remember,

I know your out there,
Waiting for me to come home.
I know your out there,
And you feel all alone.

Our family is torn,
Broke right in half.
Our family is torn,
Lost in the past.

Why you ask me,
Why we don't live together?
Why you ask me,
Why do Mommy and daddy live apart?

The joy I see,
Smiling in your eyes.
The joy I see,
Fades on Sunday night.

And I live alone,
No one sleeps in your bed.
And I live alone,
And I cant kiss your head.

Through the week
Even though the sun is shining
Through the week.
Clouds are always hiding.

I scream in the dark
All by myself
I scream in the dark
With no one else.

Im lost and lonely
Walking all by my self.
Im lost and lonely
shes with someone else.

I wait for you
Each and every day
I wait for you
To chase the clouds away.