Just wanted to tell a joke

a reply to: Lumenari
I'm sorry, but I am unable to locate a funny video that has all the characters in the joke you provided. Here is a rabbit one instead.

a reply to: CrazyBlueCat
But the longer ones have more funny parts to them.

That guys dog looks so embarrassed about having to walk with him.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

Am I making you talk to yourself? Did you get a reply?

I will be here all seven rotations of this planet.

a reply to: beyondknowledge

I might get a response if I’m not careful! I know I’ll watch it, I’m just trying to do a million things at once for no reason

Here ya go...
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?


Because they’re so good at it.

And

Did you hear that Arnold Schwarzenegger will be doing a movie about classical music?

He’ll be Bach. Ha

An actor walks into a bar a says....






....Can I get get some glow tape on that?

So what, if I don't know what armageddon means !! .. It's not the end of the world!

Thanks for those ^^^ hahahahaha!!


Why do dogs float in water?


Because they are good buoys. haha

I learned this when I was a cub scout.

How To Catch Elephants

Items needed: poster paper, a post, nails and hammer, red permanent marker (paint and brush will do), binoculars, large tweezers, a glass milk bottle (a large Mason jar will do).

First, find the correct watering hole that elephants like to use. Normally lots of elephant tracks are around it.

Second, find a suitable place to put the sign, usually facing the jungle so the elephants can see it. Pound the post into the ground and nail the poster paper to the post. Now, on the poster paper, intentionally misspell elephants by writing in big red letters ELFANTS.

Third, wait for the first elephant to arrive at the watering hole. The elephant will see the sign is misspelled and start laughing. The laughter will bring the rest of the elephants out of the jungle and they in turn will see the sign and start laughing, too.

Finally, as the elephants are on the ground shaking with laughter at the misspelled sign, pick up the binoculars, look through the wrong end, pick up the elephants with the tweezers and drop them in the bottle.

An Irishman walks out of a bar...

a reply to: CrazyBlueCat

a reply to: CrazyBlueCat

When I was a kid, I had two close friends. The three of us were so close, my dad called us "The Three Musketeers".
I always thought my dad called us that because we were inseperable. When I got older, I found out he called us that because we rode around on horseback, killing Protestants.

a reply to: CrazyBlueCat

Enjoy!

They said wearing mask and gloves is safe, I went out for groceries and everyone else was wearing shirt and trousers too...

I got fired from a cement factory but they never gave me a concrete reason why.

Also lost a job a a fire hydrant company as there was no place to park.

Bono and The Edge enter a pub. Bartender says "Oh, it's U2 again".

I took stupidity vaccine. It didn't work.

Getting a new pail is on my bucket list.

Next Super Bowl, I'm performing at halftime. Call me Weakday.

I asked for a vaccine at the pharmacy. I got Visine.

Dogs are smarter than us. They won't pick up our poop.

Worst holiday gift I got last year was a 2020 planner.

Don't follow in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

Spent hours looking for my phone using flashlight on phone.

House flooded? Need help? I Noah a guy.

T-Rex died because he couldn't wash his hands.


I AM stupid, but you are paying attention to me!

Sorry, I'll get the mouse replaced eventually.

Hahahahahaha!!!

I love it guys!!! Let’s keep the cheeesssy jokes going

f-o-r-e-v-e-r



I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden but how am I supposed to know when it is raining in Sweden?


Why did the raisin go out with the prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.

originally posted by: ColeYounger

If you can't find your dog, open the fridge door. He’ll be standing right behind you.

That's not a joke. That's a fact.

twitter.com...

I actually laughed pretty hard at that one ^^ iamtat


My dad always told me that he had a W tattooed on each butt cheek.

So whenever he would do a cartwheel, it would say ‘WoW, MoM, WoW’



^i had to hear that so called ‘joke’ my whole life! Hah!

So I checked my junk mail and I guess I had subscribed to a joke site at some point cause I had jokes of the day in there

They are so dumb but i don’t care. I giggled a lil ..

What do librarians use as bait when they go fishing?

Book worms. Ehh that’s dumb haha!

How does nasa organize a company party?

They planet. hah





I will be here all night guys jk not really

originally posted by: beyondknowledge

The religious have always had advanced tech.

I finally watched this and as I was watching I got deja vu. It was strange but humorous, I did laugh


I also watched the presto one with the magician and bunny which is funny too cause I grew up helping my dad with magic shows and his magic bunny. That video was so silly and slap stick humor at its best. I enjoyed that one too!

Thanks for sharing those. If you have any more .. feel free to share!!