Insight on how NOT to be Friend Zoned

originally posted by: St0rD

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: St0rD

Ask her out again...Something like dinner at a very nice place.
After all, what've you got to lose?

I considered it.

But if she saw me in the same light as I see her right now, there is absolutely no way she would not text me for 3 weeks. She shows me affection at job but she acts like she doesn't want our relationship to be anything more than that.

I deserve better and if she can't open herself and come to me by her own after I made my interest pretty obvious , why would I chase her and start to play this game. I have the conviction that if someone is really interested in you, she will make it obvious either way.

What do you think?

Ask her out again. But this time, if she turns you down, tell her you are interested in dating her but you're getting mixed signals from her. Have a conversation with her about it! Don't approach it as a game, it's not a take turns thing. Since you need clarity, ask her for it!

originally posted by: MissCoyote
a reply to: Bluntone22

oh im SUPER picky. like where do you go? i met mine at a bar. is that still a thing?

My wife says that if anything happened to her other women would be banging at my door.
That's not me bragging myself up it's just that she works with many women and they know I treat my wife great and have a steady job. Knowing how to cook is a bonus..

Those traits are like crack to single moms.

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: St0rD

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: St0rD

Ask her out again...Something like dinner at a very nice place.
After all, what've you got to lose?

I considered it.

But if she saw me in the same light as I see her right now, there is absolutely no way she would not text me for 3 weeks. She shows me affection at job but she acts like she doesn't want our relationship to be anything more than that.

I deserve better and if she can't open herself and come to me by her own after I made my interest pretty obvious , why would I chase her and start to play this game. I have the conviction that if someone is really interested in you, she will make it obvious either way.

What do you think?

I think you're overthinking it way too much.

Just ask her out again.
Quiet dinner at a nice place...talk together...OUTSIDE the office.

You may click...you may find out she's not really all you thought.

Either way, you'll put your mind (and heart) at rest.

Why would I ask her out again since I already did and she didn't even care to show interest afterwards. Sure, at the work place she kinda does but yet does nothing so we get together again outside of job. Plus, confirmed to me she was doing other sh-t with at least one more guy.

I appreciate your insight though. I just feel like from experiences that when a girl is really into you she will in turn hit you up. I'm looking for real love not something I must chase at all cost. If she doesn't come around by herself and use her free will to go with another dude then my attraction to her is nothing but an illusion.

how many of you answering this are guys?
reason asking is... attempting a relationship with a fellow co-worker is a double edge sword... and could potentially be seen as harrassment which could cause a loss of work.

a reply to: Bluntone22

thats what we have kids for LMAO because i know damn straight if something happened to me my kids would be the ones that would be using other females as target practice.

a reply to: St0rD

From what you've said here, you're too similar.

I think that's why you're friend zoned. You're no challenge to her.

I know it sounds daft but that's often the way it is.

Move on. If she is in fact 'the one' she will chase you.

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: St0rD

She has kids...
Run like the wind

I heard that breeze stir up into a tumult of
Mike McDonald And maybe Christopher Cross
I Now Can't stop remembering one of the 80's
20 most mediocre. Thanks aplenty

When she came back from fishing right after
your snowboarding, and you got the cricket farm:
it's time to cast for another Pisces.

a reply to: St0rD

I sure don't envy you... but I admire your efforts to be practical and simultaneously protect yourself. If I ever find myself single again, I won't even dip a pinkie toe in the dating waters! Nope. I've done the married and family thing... I'll do the single thing if/when I must.

One word of advice: Don't do anything with any expectation or hope on her part. Just do for yourself. Be true to yourself. Be good to yourself. If she's the one, then just being your own awesome self will make that clear to her. If she's not the one, then there's nothing you can do to make her "the one." It cannot be forced, and forcing it will only backfire sooner or later.

Good luck

originally posted by: Wide-Eyes
a reply to: St0rD

From what you've said here, you're too similar.

I think that's why you're friend zoned. You're no challenge to her.

I know it sounds daft but that's often the way it is.

Move on. If she is in fact 'the one' she will chase you.

Yup, exactly what I'm doing right now.

I'm done with her already. My interest for her and the potential we have together is just too huge that if it's not entirely mutual, I'm better off without her. Otherwise I will suffer yoo much.

Fortune favors the bold. Yes it’s just that simple.

Dude, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the woman is not into you. You are her friend and that is all you will ever be to her.

It sucks. It has happened to all of us one time or another.

If she were into you then you wouldn't be driving yourself crazy thinking about this. When women are interested they will pursue you sexually without hesitation. Anytime you have to ask yourself the question, "Is that girl into me?", the answer is she is not.

ETA: One thing to always keep in mind is there are like 4 billion women on the planet, so if one is not interested then you have plenty of opportunity to find one that is.

a reply to: St0rD

With kids come exes. How long has she been broken up with the father?

She might just be getting her footing in the dating realm again. Can’t blame her for not wanting anything serious, if that’s the case.

Shoot, I haven’t had anything serious in over 6 years, since my divorce. When you come out of a crappy relationship, the last thing you want is another one. Well, for sane people at least.

originally posted by: Nickn3
Fortune favors the bold. Yes it’s just that simple.

This used to be the case.

Our society used to be more timid. Which favored the bold.

Now, everyone is bold. Even your average not the greatest looking girl, is being hit on all day long. Problem is, most the guys are douches. So this muddy’s the waters for the actual good dudes out there.

a reply to: MRinder

Maybe you're right and if it is that so at least I've already taken my distance. The only thing that matters is that it works out for the best for her, and for me.

Still, I feel like you are wrong. My dreams showed me I could be friend zoned and I acted accordingly right away. I also had ones where she went with another guy but eventually came back so we could go to a dance together.

Only time will tell.

originally posted by: MRinder
Dude, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the woman is not into you. You are her friend and that is all you will ever be to her.

It sucks. It has happened to all of us one time or another.

If she were into you then you wouldn't be driving yourself crazy thinking about this. When women are interested they will pursue you sexually without hesitation. Anytime you have to ask yourself the question, "Is that girl into me?", the answer is she is not.

Very true but they will let you buy them dinner and snowboarding trips.

a reply to: St0rD

Yup, exactly what I'm doing right now.

Good.

My interest for her and the potential we have together is just too huge

Yeah, you need to stop thinking like that. It's bad for you and her.

I'm better off without her. 

You are. She will never live up to your expectations.

a reply to: St0rD

Use the Cuomo sausage sandwich approach, works like a charm.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: St0rD

Use the Cuomo sausage sandwich approach, works like a charm.

I don't want to know what that means but lol.

"Woman want what they can't have, an men want to be what they cant."

From my limited experience to the dating world, it better to give a small hint an see where it go from there with her, an show that your interested not desperate(tougher if you are(not You need to let come her to you more or less, an nothing work better then treating like any other woman out there. Hell hang out with another woman an give her enough attention(without getting serious, can back fire)

As for treating them like #, an still being loved somehow, I quite frankly just stopped caring, cause they are responsible.


Ask any cop this question? Is it good to get involved into domestic dispute an abuse? No, cause the said victim will end being the assailant once she see her so called opressor or lover get his ass kicked an will literally defend him to the death.

True stories.

originally posted by: KKLOCO

originally posted by: Nickn3
Fortune favors the bold. Yes it’s just that simple.

This used to be the case.

Our society used to be more timid. Which favored the bold.

Now, everyone is bold. Even your average not the greatest looking girl, is being hit on all day long. Problem is, most the guys are douches. So this muddy’s the waters for the actual good dudes out there.

Perhaps so. In my experience most people are just shy. Some one needs to break the ice, just do it in a good way.