I read another thread on here the other day, regarding the way in which we become 'conscious' as kids, as in how & at what time in our lives did we
become self-aware. The discussion was interesting, but it sparked questions in my mind as I thought back to that time of my life, from around the age
of 2/3/4/5 yrs old. A friend of ours was round at our house a few days ago, and asked a similar question, regarding when she became self-aware as a
child of around four years old. She stated that she remembers trying to communicate something to her mother, being frustrated because she couldn't
grasp properly at the concepts she was attempting to refer to in that situation, finding herself unable to process the language complexity which would
have been needed in order to communicate the need more appropriately.
This got me thinking of how my own thought life developed as a child, in terms of whether I was able to communicate at a young age & so on. Firstly,
at the age of two, I recall playing football with boys who seemed much bigger & older than myself, within the confines of the grounds of a building
which was located on a military base (Royal Air Force).
It turned out that they were around six years old, apparently, though they seemed like giants to me at that age. Anyway, I remember very clearly
thinking in complex terms about what was going on - I fell over the ball once, didn't hurt (I started playing again straight away) but I remember
being sent to the reception of the strange medical/ childcare facility at which I was playing (in a sparse garden area outside at the front of the
building). Later on I was told that I'd broken my leg, but looking back that seemed very doubtful as there was no pain, no obvious impact or bending
of the leg (I had fallen on my backside). After the alleged break, I walked into the building under my own steam & stood on tiptoes without
discomfort trying to look over the desk to see the receptionist. So this little point of note is a bit of an oddity in the story & doesn't make
sense & seems contrived as an originating incident, but there is still more strangeness. I was experiencing complex thought about the situation, and
was told to wait outside for my mother to come & collect me. This seemed curious to me, as I did not recall having had a mother beforehand. I was
simply told that she was coming, and I was to wait outside for her. When she arrived, the moment was memorable due to the setting sun being directly
behind her, as she walked up the hill she arrived 'over the horizon' so to speak, with the golden sunlight of late afternoon crowning her with a
halo as she gradually appeared. I remember being confused, but trusting what I had been told, I went with her. I do not remember the apparent visit
to hospital, which is supposed to have taken place immediately.
Moving on, I found that at the age of 3/4/5, I was having complex thoughts about all manner of things, and I remember being intensely frustrated when
parents or other adults would speak to me as though I were too young to understand whatever situation was being referred to. This was so common, and
occurred in tandem with my own developing perspectives of apparent reincarnation, in that I could vaguely remember a distant & magical life, in realms
which were nothing short of fantastical. TV programmes such as Ulyssees, Mysterious Cities of Gold & Thundercats all gave me intense flashback
nostalgia, as though I could remember a time when the mystery & magical phenomena of such programmes really seemed to speak into my spirit, that
somehow I was accessing stored memories of another life - or many lives. My dreams, which began to occur around the age of 5 yrs old (such that I
remember them today), began to demonstrate further connections & high strangeness - I was subjected to a torturous medical/ abduction experience on
one occasion, in which something was apparently inserted into the nerve meridians of my left arm, causing lifelong pain of a deep neuropathic nature
at the exact spot where I could feel their needles being inserted. There was a needle which was pushed into my right eyeball, at which point I
blacked out due to the trauma. Accompanying this was a memory of several people in white coats, some with specialist equipment, some supervising -
none of whom had the least bit of compassion for the 5yr old child they were tormenting.
There's a stack more I could add to this bizarre tale, but for now I'd simply like to ask the question - how did your own thought life come into
being? Was it in incremental stages? Did you wrestle with the formation of complex reasoning & communication? Or did you find that from your
earliest years, you fully understood myriad aspects of the world, as in my case in which it seemed I had carried over some adult reasoning
capabilities, and as a result becoming massively frustrated at being patronised as 'just a kid'..? My own life seems to be the culmination of a
journey, as though it is the final act, with the curtains being readied to close on the production any time now. I believe my former lifetimes (none
of which I remember with clarity, except for snippets in dreams & occasional visions) have led me to this point, such that there is a connection
between what is happening in the world, and what is happening in the lives of those who do remember other lives fulfilled.
I am intrigued to see where this journey takes us from here...