Life Advice/Guidance/Stuck/Wisdom/Lost hope/Need a helping hand?

Hi folks,

over the years I have found myself living quite an eventful life full of unexpected misery/loss/mistakes with more ups and downs than I can count as I am sure many others might have or do.

I was coming on here this past few years not posting but seeking a thread for life advice/spiritual guidance/soul searching or even just needing a chat in a sense rather than heavy conspiracies (as much as I enjoy that side of things and still do).

Yet, I could never find a thread for this type of thing (stuck in life etc).
Alternative topics always seemed to be to specific, too friendly, too hostile or too jokey so to speak which is fine but everything has its place.
With this in mind, I hope to create a thread here for people in difficult situations where a place cannot be found given the above. Somewhere for posting difficulties no matter how hopeless and receiving some guidance from other members etc. Given the broad range of life experience on here I think it could be helpful?

I do not claim to know all the answers however I am a stage Hypnotist/Hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner (means bugger all in real life however but others wont tell you that).

Quite keen to just say hello and see if anyone else wants to share a problem in life or similar, quite experimental I guess, but nothing ventured nothing gained they say

"A problem shared is a problem halved"

Here is my hypnotism side of things as a hello, I do not have a current story to share besides this but ive been through the loss of parents, friends and more that comes with chasing a dream (not a thread about me, just a hello in the hopes there might be someone out there stuck as much as we all can be self included)...



PS: No politics please

“You read my mind”
-Beetlejuice

I have regular cycles of fairly severe hopelessness. I’m certain they are hormonally ignited, but for a few days every month I want to disappear. But I can’t. And I probably wouldn’t because of those that would be hurt by it.

I only feel fulfilled when I am in my “zone”, which is sad, because I have 4 wonderful kids that I love dearly. But my life is a repetition of the same battles every single day. I don’t get breaks or sick days...... and I manage well enough until those few days hit and then I wonder if I can hold on through this round.

Maybe this isn’t what you were looking for..... but it’s where I’m at right now.

a reply to: chelsdh

Thanks for the reply.

That's the thing, I am not really looking for anything specific, just trying to start a thread for people feeling rather meh or similar.

Do you ever do anything different and what is the "zone" for you?

To add: when do you feel hopeless if you do not mind me asking?

a reply to: XXXN3O

My zone is studying the things that interest me- sometimes reading an article on an interesting topic then following leads within it. I stay home with my youngest, and so that’s an easy thing for me to do. And podcasts- I love me some good podcasts. I’m limited by a toddler though, so there’s that.

I go to the gym regularly (I feel better and get kid free time). But that’s mostly it.

Oh, and I scramble at keeping up with house work and the plethora of laundry that 6 people produce.

a reply to: XXXN3O

I’m a woman, and it seems to come every month, a few days before my period. It’s very regular..

It’s nice to see it and know (generally) when it will hit, but it doesn’t make it easier.

a reply to: chelsdh

Reading between the lines, sounds like you need a few days off a month.

If you run around after 6 people, one of which is a toddler, bound to be stressful to say the least! (hormones aside)

originally posted by: chelsdh
a reply to: XXXN3O

I’m a woman, and it seems to come every month, a few days before my period. It’s very regular..

It’s nice to see it and know (generally) when it will hit, but it doesn’t make it easier.

Not going to even attempt to try and understand what that is like, being a guy.
Can only maybe suggest Angus Castus tablets one week before it strikes, they are herbal and work well for some folks especially with PMS.

It works really well for my partner and I get the added benefit of not losing my hair once a month jk lol

originally posted by: chelsdh
a reply to: XXXN3O

I’m a woman, and it seems to come every month, a few days before my period. It’s very regular..

It’s nice to see it and know (generally) when it will hit, but it doesn’t make it easier.

Sure sounds hormonal. Have you ever talked to a doctor? It may be that whatever you take to regulate could be adjusted to smooth it out somehow. If nothing else, it will probably fade when you get to "the Change" is you know what I mean, not that that brings immediate help.

I get migraines with hormones, not always, but when I do, they chain, so I'll get 2, or many more in a row. I've gotten lucky, and my preventive is good at making the severity much less, but it doesn't stop the after effects, so I spend hours feeling like a slug brain who's been hit by a truck, even my scalp hurts!

So while my problem isn't exactly like yours, I do get the idea of looking at the calendar and knowing that it's lying in wait.

a reply to: ketsuko

Hope you don't mind me asking, do you get a few days of peace and quiet?

My partner and some female friends all say similar with "that time" but they all have one thing in common, no space or peace and quiet to be on their own for a due to childcare, work, or other commitments.

Just wondering? As a male, if I do not get at least a day or two per month to myself for some quiet I start cracking up, not a hormonal thing for me but surely a bit of peace goes a long way too alongside treatment where possible?

a reply to: XXXN3O

I’ve never heard of that, but I’m about to put my “internet doctor” hat on and look into it!

I am all for more natural treatments, so that excites me!

I do need more breaks, but mom guilt makes it hard. However, if it keeps me from wanting to split, it’s probably a fair trade off for the kids to miss me occasionally.

a reply to: XXXN3O

Oh, I do. Not days, but hours.

I only work part-time, so I get a few hours between when I get home and when kiddo gets home. I can use that time to do housework, run errands or just be if I choose or need to.

I complain about being only part-time, and the extra money of full-time would be really nice, but the flexibility of part-time really is a blessing at times and it's probably been a life saver for my overall health.

a reply to: ketsuko

Birth control and/or antidepressants are options. I don’t do BC because of my history with using it. And I’d prefer to avoid big Pharma, however I may have to change my tune.

PMDD - premenstrual disphoric disorder, which is PMS on roids! And while antidepressants for “regular” depression (whatever that is) have to be used for prolonged and regular use to be effective- they can be used for PMDD just a few days in the month and have a good impact.

So sorry about the migraines. Thankful I don’t deal with those! That might be even worse with my kids when they get on my nerves!

hello,i had similar stuff in my life,going down few times,especially during winter months.
what helped to me was diet,workout,meditation,prayer and for hormonal imbalance i use ashwaganda,shatavari and maca powder.
regarding diet;lots of fruit and veggies,eggs...chedar,avoid meet whenever you can...
maybe go talk to shrink just to start things moving in your mind...answers all always in your head
best of luck....

keep thinking that everything will be OK!

originally posted by: chelsdh
a reply to: XXXN3O

I’ve never heard of that, but I’m about to put my “internet doctor” hat on and look into it!

I am all for more natural treatments, so that excites me!

I do need more breaks, but mom guilt makes it hard. However, if it keeps me from wanting to split, it’s probably a fair trade off for the kids to miss me occasionally.

The best thing about Angus Castus tablets (also known as Femilieve or Natures Aid) they are organic, also sometimes foods with high Zinc can help Meats/Shellfish and Nuts to name a few.

Since my partner started taking Angus Castus, she is much less stressed, I also do a crystal healing, some chocolate, and some chill time doing whatever she wants. Offered her space but she doesnt like that, wants to sit with me and cuddle up for some reason which is a first for me. Shes a keeper haha

I am by no means a beta male but im quite sensitive to the stuff that affects daily life with the things ive heard/experienced during my journeys. It's the little things that can make the big difference with this type of thing I think

As for the splitting part. Sorry for any presumption here but im guessing you are around the 35 - 45 mark here? It is normally around the age that females start questioning what the heck am I doing so to speak. You need some you time, guys get this too but normally a bit later (sorry if that sounds sexist, these days you cant say anything but I hear it all the time)

We are different people all throughout our lives I reckon and sometimes you have to find out who the new person is, risky yes but totally necessary

As the old Doctor put it (cheesy but true lol)

By way of introduction, I have a rather long history here if you are interested.

I do suffer from bouts of “meh”, and more disturbingly, occasional episodes of the “l’ve done nothing with my life, I’m worthless, and I don’t know if I care enough to even try’s”.

They’ve become more frequent since retiring last year. Nothing can make a person doubt their self-worth faster than the realization that the society In which you’ve spent your life, now considers you, simply because of your working status, to be disregardable.

How do I overcome those dark pits?

Not easy. But I started by honoring myself with the best I could attain. Eat what I want (but without feeling like I needed to over-indulge: because I no longer have anything to prove to anyone!). Do what I want, when I want.

I try to enjoy and even celebrate the freedom that the anonymity society grants those of us it no longer sees as “potentially productive”.

Wickedly twisted? Perhaps, but that’s just how I’m rolling!

ETA: you’ve studied/practiced NLP, per your OP.
I have a semi-professional question: In the past, several people, some of them professionals, have attempted to use NLP, and similar techniques, with me in various interview situations, usually with my consent.

In each case, for some reason, and I have difficulty explaining the experience, it was as if my mind, without my volition, immediately recognized “an intrusion” and set up blocks, which off course rendered the rest of the session moot.

Is this normal? Common?

Hope I added to your thread.

a reply to: XXXN3O

😂
I’m a stay at home parent- by choice (though I sometimes question if I am making the right choice)- and that does not offend me. Thanks for being mindful of things that may be offensive.

I’m 33. And yes, it is easier for my husband to get away a chill. He doesn’t do it often, as it cuts into his time with the kids, but he does get breaks. Which I envy him and have to stop myself from resenting.

Crystal healing- I’d like to hear more about this. I recently bought some stones for “good vibes” but I haven’t done much with them... except i grab my quartz necklace when I have a shopping trip and I’m feeling nerved up😆

originally posted by: Bhadhidar
By way of introduction, I have a rather long history here if you are interested.

I do suffer from bouts of “meh”, and more disturbingly, occasional episodes of the “l’ve done nothing with my life, I’m worthless, and I don’t know if I care enough to even try’s”.

They’ve become more frequent since retiring last year. Nothing can make a person doubt their self-worth faster than the realization that the society In which you’ve spent your life, now considers you, simply because of your working status, to be disregardable.

I can relate to this, ive spent the last year far away from home in isolation, no television, social media or much else following the loss of a parent suddenly and a mistake I made in a fit of rage/pain. I dont know if you are alone or have a family but my next aim is to go travelling, meet new people then decide the next step. Apparently if you are not growing, you are dying. But you will probably know far better than me, ive learned that all the knowledge in the world does not substitute for experience. But the biggest thing for me has been facing my ego. I always thought that ego was this false self that proclaimed "the big I AM" so to speak but its the opposite. Mines was born from suffering in youth, always blaming my past for a doomed future, all the while missing the present if you get me

With that in mind, what the heck are you doing worrying about being disregardable? Go have fun, you have earned it by the sounds of it! Seems you are from the rest of your post and not twisted or dark at all

ETA: you’ve studied/practiced NLP, per your OP.
I have a semi-professional question: In the past, several people, some of them professionals, have attempted to use NLP, and similar techniques, with me in various interview situations, usually with my consent.

In each case, for some reason, and I have difficulty explaining the experience, it was as if my mind, without my volition, immediately recognized “an intrusion” and set up blocks, which off course rendered the rest of the session moot.

Is this normal? Common?

Hope I added to your thread.

I am not a traditionalist as such or a leading authority on this topic, that is just it though, nobody is... For me, I love it because we can apparently go to the moon or beyond but we still havent figured out whats inside our minds!

I would explain it like this...

A hypnotist/hypnotherapist (if trying to make a change in your mindset that you have asked about) will ask you a set of open ended questions. Very similar to a psychologist. Who, what, why, when, where and they will ask you repeatedly about a topic surrounding the issue. This is to identify sub conscious anchors. The mind is naturally resistant but easily distracted. Some more than others and others are not resistant at all, depeneds on mindset. Its quite a long topic, could probably write a seperate thread on it lol

However, in a nutshell, the open questions and switching topics surrounding the issue normally open you up to revealing an anchor (a truth or emotional statement surrounding it) the therapist will latch onto that with more open questions until enough opening is there to repeatedly change the conditioning that exists in a sense.

I often go with my feelings when helping others, one example, I had a person who came to me to "stop smoking". I used traditional hypnotism on them to put them deeper into a hypnotic state as they were not responding to hypnotherapy.

Turned out they were abused as a child in a toilet and had been living their whole life in fear of going to anyone elses toilet aside from theirs at home where its safe. While this might sound minor, the person was losing jobs, missing appointments, failing to turn up on time with other things as they needed to go to the loo. Was life changing for them but they were too scared to say it out loud.

You see the sub conscious is kinda like a child flying a 747 aircraft (holds all the power) whilst you are strapped in the co-pilots chair with nothing but your mouth to guide it back to landing, without you even knowing. It makes instant decisions constantly, especially when emotionally compromised and we do not even realise it! If only we had an instruction manual that popped out with us at birth lol

Hope that makes sense and thanks for contributing

Heloo, I've been having some dramas lately also, it's summer here in Aus and it seems like the heat gets to everyone's head sometimes.

originally posted by: chelsdh
a reply to: XXXN3O

😂
I’m a stay at home parent- by choice (though I sometimes question if I am making the right choice)- and that does not offend me. Thanks for being mindful of things that may be offensive.

I’m 33. And yes, it is easier for my husband to get away a chill. He doesn’t do it often, as it cuts into his time with the kids, but he does get breaks. Which I envy him and have to stop myself from resenting.

Crystal healing- I’d like to hear more about this. I recently bought some stones for “good vibes” but I haven’t done much with them... except i grab my quartz necklace when I have a shopping trip and I’m feeling nerved up😆

Well, older I get the more I realise its all about compromise in relationships. If the other wont compromise, they dont care enough, all boils down to fear once you stop communicating if you get me. Say that as someone thats learned the hard way in the past lol

I learned this from a spritual place I visited last year in Turkey (didnt know it was spiritual but apparently the guy that owned the place was a Shaman and spoke to me about the children of Orion) No I do not take drugs haha...

You have to go and pick some crystals that stand out to you firstly, if they are warm beneath your hands or you feel something from them, buy them.

Place the person down on the floor flat with arms at sides and legs resting straight.

1st Crystal on their head
2nd on stomach
3rd near their right shoulder
4th near their left hip/knee
5th below left foot

repeat for other side

Once placed down, leave for a few minutes or more, whatever you feel is right for the person...

Take your preferred crystal Quartz is good for this part but can be any one you prefer and move them clockwise over each crystal for a few minutes (or whatever feels right). Start from head and work left to right in order you placed(their right to left) then when finishing back at head, move your hand as if pulling away from it... sometimes you might feel heat elsewhere apart from head at the end, pull it up and away or spend more time on it rotating and feel it leave them and cool down (cannot think of a better way to describe it).

Give it a try at least before you knock it, ive had people starting to shake around/lifting arms up/talking weird stuff and all sorts with it and I dont even really believe in it but I was told I can do Reiki etc. Lotta nonsense to a logical mind but it seems to work for some reason and seems to help them a lot lol
The older I get (saying that again) the more I think it really doesnt matter how something works, its like magic, if revealed it ruins it, those that ruin it spend time calling out the how's, rather than realising the why's behind anything. There's a reason they say all in good measure, the key being good. Sound like fecking Yoda or something pmsl

PS: you can use as many crystals as you want but thats the basics if you fancy something different to try

originally posted by: GlassYetti
Heloo, I've been having some dramas lately also, it's summer here in Aus and it seems like the heat gets to everyone's head sometimes.

Wish it were summertime here!

Only one thing for it, a BBQ (im jealous lol)...