What do you look for in a long term partner?

So I've been out of the relationship game for a couple of years. I'm looking to get back in the near future.

What I like to understand, from your personal perspective, what expectations do you have when looking for a significant other(s)?

I currently find myself in a foreign country and I'm nearly positive in their culture dating works a little differently then where I'm from. I'm having a bit of difficulty understanding what they find attractive. Obviously everyone is unique but ultimately your culture does play a role in most peoples relationships in one way or another. By this I mean there is a stronger family influence, you don't get to just date the daughter/Son. Being unfamiliar with this feature of a relationship is there anything I can do to improve my chances?

The idea behind this thread is self improvement in order to become a better "catch". I should also state that it would be for the long term relationship. Another thing, I welcome all perspectives: Polyamory, Bisexual, Homosexual, Heterosexual, and anything else within the Realm of T&C's. Also feel free to go outside the bounds of the limited information I have given and assume as much as you like.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter what I want in a significant other if I am not able to be significant myself.

Thank you for your help in this matter.


Edit add - to add a different dimension to the conversation. What are your deal breakers. Now I don't want this to turn into something shallow and superficial (looks don't last forever) so let's keep it related to non physical qualities.

Harmony, balance and much trust and humongous amounts of respect for each other...

Just be yourself and don't forget to understand and respect cultural differences, especially your future partner...

Handcuffs, chains, floggers and whips and stuff come after you have both mastered the above😉

Warmest

Lags
a reply to: DiaJax

a reply to: DiaJax


Honesty.... trust...... and compromise.....

With bucket loads of luck

a pulse is always useful at my age

a reply to: DiaJax

Loyalty I guess, meaning, when I think about it, I'd like some back. I know that in a relationship you should give and forgive but in the past I found that difficult when your partner describes you as "easy peasy" and later takes you for everything.

So sure, I reckon I'll stick up for my partner if they would back me. Not an altogether simple thought for me nowadays.

Kind regards,

bally

a reply to: DiaJax

Before anyone can help ... we need to know your age. Around about will do.

There are variations due to age as PhyllidaDavenport has pointed out.

A pulse is what she looks for in the first instance. If your date starts talking about funeral homes it may be an indication that they have little life left inside.

Age is very important in the dating game.

P

Can I ask where you are that culture is different for,you ? ...and will you be staying there permanently or moving again soon....because you may not be able to take that new significant other away from their culture and family , if you move again. .....also, sit down with a paper and pen and write out all the pros and cons you look for in a person...sometimes it helps to actually spell it our.

a reply to: Meldionne1

Good question. I'm able to stay here permanently. So there is no issue in that department.

I know what I like in a person. I just don't like to take that approach because I feel it limits my options and I may overlook a quality that I didn't fully appreciate when writing the list.

As for dating age I'm fairly open minded. I will limit it to 20 - 40 in a partner.

Thanks for your help

Doesn't matter, they all betray you eventually.

Be prepared to be told to just let it go, when they do. Because the female side of any relationship, is never wrong. Angels lie to keep control.

originally posted by: badw0lf
Doesn't matter, they all betray you eventually.

Be prepared to be told to just let it go, when they do. Because the female side of any relationship, is never wrong. Angels lie to keep control.

Well damn .... Who peed in your Wheaties ??

First i would like to say i enjoyed reading your OP. Here, i won't go into details of my own relationships, but i say there is not very many and especially only a few long-term lasting. I will just give you my answer of three cornerstones that are not in an order of importance.

1. Love 2. Respect 3. Trust

These have to be mutual, and if just one is missing, the thing is not working for me. And, perhaps unnecessary to say, i have to find the woman attractive on a physical level.

originally posted by: badw0lf
Doesn't matter, they all betray you eventually.

Be prepared to be told to just let it go, when they do. Because the female side of any relationship, is never wrong. Angels lie to keep control.

So your suggesting if they are female its a deal breaker?

I think that the hardest part of a relationship is really understanding your partner. It is much easier said then done. This also the reason I added the deal breaker to my OP.

Deal breaker are extremely subjective and usually relate to a clash of values (not everything is black and white though). In essence ones values out weigh the "value" of the relationship.

Sometimes, unfortunately, these value clashes can come up years down the road in a relationship.

Obviously I would like this thread to be all rainbows and unicorns but It's still good to understand the pitfalls as well. In the hopes of avoiding them.

Oh my own deal breaker, selfishness, this applies to myself as well. If your not willing to put the time into a relationship then I don't believe you should be in one. This is actually the reason I have been on relationship hiatus.

a reply to: DiaJax

True, ....but writing a list doesn't mean you are bound to only what you write, any other good quality that pops up is just a bonus !! The list is a guide to make you dig deep , question your soul, and think about what really matters... our priorities change as we get older .

originally posted by: DiaJaxAnother thing, I welcome all perspectives: Polyamory, Bisexual, Homosexual, Heterosexual, and anything else within the Realm of T&C's.

Polyamory = i would like just one partner but if someone wants more, and all participants are of legal age and consenting, it is okay, just not for me

Bisexual = I have been with a bisexual woman and told her that i can't give her a woman experience so being with another woman is not "cheating". but other men? no way!

Homosexual = Legal age, consenting, all good but not my cup of tea

Heterosexual = My preference. Me as a one man, and a woman (not zero, not two or more, just one really great)

a reply to: Meldionne1

I can see your point, if nothing else it would an exercise in getting a fuller idea of what I would like in a relationship. Thank you for the suggestion.

My current issue is the cultural perspective. I'm sure dating expectations are fairly universal, but I feel there are underlying cultural bonus points. That's what I'm trying to ferret out without being to specific.

a reply to: DiaJax

Well, there is not being too specific and there is sink your boat before you leave port.

Without knowing which two cultures you are mixing, we all really can't help.

I can tell you now that dating a Swahili Virgin will be very different to dating the daughter of a mafia mob boss.

So what two cultures are we actually discussing.

P

originally posted by: bally001
a reply to: DiaJax

Loyalty I guess, meaning, when I think about it, I'd like some back. I know that in a relationship you should give and forgive but in the past I found that difficult when your partner describes you as "easy peasy" and later takes you for everything.

So sure, I reckon I'll stick up for my partner if they would back me. Not an altogether simple thought for me nowadays.

Kind regards,

bally

Thanks, bally. I agree with you, relationships aren't easy but I think it's that struggle to make it work is what makes a relationship truly valuable.

a reply to: DiaJax


Well... if it's down to cultural differences, many facts can play a role in that ....of course I don't know where you are , or much about you, ....but I would think first issue in a new culture would be religion. Religion can be a deal breaker for many .

originally posted by: pheonix358
a reply to: DiaJax

Well, there is not being too specific and there is sink your boat before you leave port.

Without knowing which two cultures you are mixing, we all really can't help.

I can tell you now that dating a Swahili Virgin will be very different to dating the daughter of a mafia mob boss.

So what two cultures are we actually discussing.


P

Okay, I'll give you a hint, see if we can at least get this boat out of the bay.

I'm from North America and I find myself in Asia.

Religion is not a problem as far as i know.

No language barrier
.

originally posted by: DiaJax

originally posted by: pheonix358
a reply to: [post=22345565]DiaJax[/post

P

Okay, I'll give you a hint, see if we can at least get this boat out of the bay.

I'm from North America and I find myself in Asia.
.

So,your Denis Rodman and your moving to North Korea !!!😀😀😀😜😜