a reply to: bloodymarvelous
I don't think anyone in this thread is advocating that men should have an inherent right to verbally harass (in a sexual manner or not) any woman at
any time. I don't want to be harassed at anytime myself, so I don't ever intentionally harass others, even when I lose my temper. Men should
definitely not have a right to allow the sting they feel to their ego as being an excuse to start harassing, mistreating or insulting any woman simply
for denying his advances. I am in agreement this is an area that men in general need to work on a lot harder. More men should speak up if they see a
friend or relative showing signs of being aggressive or creepy after a rejection, and state strongly at the time that their behaviour is wrong and
unacceptable. It won't prevent psychos from still trying their luck, but it will significantly decrease the number of people who think they can engage
in psychopathic behaviour in response to what really is a trivial issue (rejection from the opposite sex) without first being forced to consider
whether any further action is in their best interest to proceed with. I don't know what more I can do personally to help this occurrence because I
don't see these things happening around the people I know and associate with at the moment.
Now for my criticisms of your reply. I do feel the need to ask you why you had to emphasise at the beginning that "Their [attractive women in the
workplace] version of it must be 10 times worse" than your own experience was? Do you feel the need to feel guilty or embarrassed that you found your
experience so unsettling at the time it happened? How else can you jump so quickly from describing your own experience to defending what you just said
by emphasising that women must have it even worse than you could have imagined? It doesn't quite add up for people who notice these types of
The trouble for the pretty lady is she doesn't know who is who. It only takes one psycho, and you're dead. Game over. No continues.
As a man, I do realise I am far less likely to be put in such a situation. So I can sympathise with this female friend of yours. Do you think think
she herself is as aware of the issue as you are? If not, then explain to her your concerns. IF she then asks for advice, tell her one way she can help
herself is to suggest she TRY dressing more modestly. (You did mention "the totality of all the shots taken together would amount to a virtual
guarantee of death if nothing were done to mitigate the risk
." Which indicates you realise her being so attractive puts her at an extra
risk compared to most average or ugly women, even though she never chose to be attractive in the first place.) Reality is reality whether you choose
to acknowledge it or not, so if you DO care for her as you say, it's probably best to use your position as a man to inform her of this knowledge you
have picked up.
In regard to the rest of your "male guilt" identity stuff, it's unfortunate you need to highlight the worst in male behaviour from almost 100 years
ago as if it has not — at all
— improved in terms of the the male collective behaviour as a whole today in the year 2017, while
disregarding women's progress in the Western world, and all the accomplishment that has been made in that time.
Again, I am not judging you because I have never met you before or even interacted with you on this forum (unless I have forgotten), but I do pick up
some signs that you might be overcompensating for the guilt you feel as a man seeing these other men do these things and feeling so powerless to stop
them from hurting women like your friend, that you choose to instead believe that most men have this problem, most men are potential psychos so
therefore it is acceptable to treat all men as potential psychos to avoid any risk.
If you do believe that last sentence above might be truthful, you should re-examine your own views because you are entering dangerous territory. For
example, my sarcastic comment earlier that maybe it's a good idea for men to consider not hiring females to avoid the risk of drama such as sexual
harassment suits, accusations you are paying her less, accusations you promote misogyny by not catering to her needs etc. Do ANY of us benefit from
that kind of mindset?
edit on 25/4/2017 by Dark Ghost because: (no reason given)