I don't like myself. Pity party here, enter at your own risk.

a reply to: deadlyhope

Hey deadlyhope,

Go out in nature for five minutes and open your senses, just stay as present as you can. Notice beauty. Immerse yourself. Feel your body in relation to your surroundings. Just five minutes without "thinking" but "being." Listen. See. Feel.

Do this when you can if not every day. You will start to see yourself and life differently. And most of all know that whatever beauty you see out in nature, that is because you are beautiful, and have the capacity to understand how the inner is mirrored in what we see in the world.

a reply to: AboveBoard

Great suggestion - I do live in a beautiful area - Millions of tourists come around here a year for the beauty that can be found. I should try to find the same. The beauty in my own backyard.

originally posted by: deadlyhope
You know, I really don't like me..and the more I learn about me, the more I realize I want to change, the more I wonder how I could change.. The more frustrated I get at myself for not having an answer.

How do you go about increasing your intelligence, along with your integrity? How do you go about heightening your senses and experiencing old things in a new way, how do you go about connecting with others when you have no idea how to connect, and always feel inferior to those around you?

How can I go against the norms of culture and be my own person, when I have no blue print or anything to follow?

I'm really irritable lately and I think it's because I'm stuck in a rut. I don't know what I want to do for a hobby, much less a career (not that the two have the be related, I just don't know either one.) My daughter is growing up, five months now and I feel like less of a father and a man than ever. I just can't figure things out. I attempt to, and I'm actually okay at doing the research for an idea - like I wanted to invest in a rental home because I live in a high tourism area, only to find out that the law states that you can only rent out a part of a house, and have to occupy the house to rent it out - which is not something I want to do.

Just one example, though. I'll get interested in many, many topics only to find out that there's deal breakers - is there some secret to getting over this? To just deal with the circumstances given you, or change them? I feel powerless against the law and ordinances of the city I wanted to do business in , for instance.

Anyways... Just looking for a place to write my thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I use ats as a journal more than a place of discussion and I hope I don't put others off in doing so.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! Everyone feels this way. Just being able to be aware of it and talk about it will help you.

Here's a good book that will help you:

www.amazon.com...

Here's a good video that will help you:

www.youtube.com...

Never be afraid to ask for help. Life is full of frustrations. It is hard to have a meaningful life. Just keep searching.

Sometimes the best way to feel better is to do something nice for someone else.

"Let us all be the master of our own destinies"

a reply to: deadlyhope

For me...my sons have been my raison d'etres. Their mother passed from cancer when they were young...and the struggle of raising them as a single dad while providing for them became my mission in life.

I love my work and friends...but I love my family more than anything.

Your daughter is still very young,...but they grow up before you know it...Enjoy every moment of being a dad to your daughter and, over time, you will be amazed at how rewarding and life-enriching just being a parent can be.

'LIFE is what happens to us while we're busy making other plans'...Don't let planning and worrying blind you to simply living and loving.

It seems like you are struggling in life..Hope you turn it around..
The attitude you have in the other thread doesn't work in the real world.

If you are interested I will gladly volunteer some conversations around different aspects of the technological world that can benefit you and hopefully improve your outlook. In the end though you either figure out how to succeed or you get run over..No one and nothing on this planet owes you anything so it's on you to win or lose.

I go back to seeing Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs give the closing keynote at a huge and annual technical conference two years ago..He was talking about how people often say "work smarter not harder" and how he disagreed with that 100%. He then went on to say "If you want to succeed in life you need to work harder and smarter" .

originally posted by: deadlyhope
a reply to: AboveBoard

Great suggestion - I do live in a beautiful area - Millions of tourists come around here a year for the beauty that can be found. I should try to find the same. The beauty in my own backyard.

And You KNOW of ALL the great spots and spots to avoid.. Now think for a moment that I'm an eccentric millionaire and I'm taking time out of My busy schedule and plan on visiting Utah, specifically Your ecological niche, got any suggestions, I'll certainly compensate Your for Your time...? You've already got access to the intraweb so You're 3/4 the way there, $ell Yourself. Get a nice comfy SUV w/a Moonroof and be an 'Area Guide' ; run a shuttle out to the airport; ski resort; area attraction. Set up a website and book in advance..

There are also some "Manifestation Meditations" You can do along with Your basic meditation to get quiet and figure out what it is You want/desire. Careful with this because in 'many cases' once the one 'want' is sated, it is quickly replaced by another 'want' ... Also remember the old adage "careful what You wish for You just may get it..."

"You can do it..." Aunt Claire

a reply to: opethPA

Hmm? I'll gladly take some tips.

The other thread, I was arguing something entirely different. That food and survival trump luxury and convenience.

On the other hand I'm definitely a consumer and love technology - I don't actually dislike it, nor think it's less valid an occupation or anything in the modern world.

I have some technical experience. I can build a computer, put a website up, and such. I know some.. Html, css, Javascript, I'm a novice or so at programming in c#, and I've dabbled in a couple others. I'm a beginner at databases and web programming, and a beginner at using unity to develop video games.

So, I think if I found my passion.. And could either apply or build on what I know, or adapt to something new, I'd be set..

What that thing is.. I'm not sure.

Watch a bunch of:"Space odyssey:2001!!"

a reply to: deadlyhope

You're waiting for someone to tell you what to do because you don't know what to do.

Here's a secret; It doesn't get any easier the older you get. No one has all the answers for everyone. If they say they do, then they are liars with delusions.

The only thing I CAN tell you is that you aren't alone. We have all felt/still feel that way. You aren't alone, no matter what you feel.

a reply to: DBCowboy

There's some assurance in that, to know that I'm up against the same challenges as many others - I suppose I could look to that for inspiration as well. Realize that people in my exact situation or very similar have become successful in the way that they define success

originally posted by: deadlyhope
a reply to: DBCowboy

There's some assurance in that, to know that I'm up against the same challenges as many others - I suppose I could look to that for inspiration as well. Realize that people in my exact situation or very similar have become successful in the way that they define success

There ya go!

We all have challenges. Some have more than others, but we still fight all the same battles of insecurities and doubts.

Each and every one of us.

a reply to: deadlyhope

Are you terminally ill?

Life is what you make of it, do whatever makes you happy, make yourself happy, stop focusing on negatives.

If i had enough time, and money, and if! they would let me in i would become ........

An Alaskan Bush person, or an Ice Lake Rebel

Get an entry level construction job and get paid to learn a valuable trade. Hard work builds character. I know kids these days all want to be the next Zuckerberg or YouTube star but I think it's good to get your hands dirty once in a while. You'd be surprised at the money a good electrician, plumber or carpenter can earn. It's far from glamorous but it can be quite rewarding turning people's dreams into reality with your blood sweat and tears.

Even if you don't stay in that profession, you will gain valuable skills and knowledge. I'm a pretty simple guy who swings a hammer for a living. I lived paycheck to paycheck for several years and it wasn't always fun or easy. As my skills, knowledge and confidence grew, so did my opportunities. Bought an affordable fixer upper home, lived there for 2 years and invested some money and lot of hard work to fix it up. Flipped it for a tidy profit and bought another one. And then another. It's pretty easy to build equity if you do the work yourself and know your market.Nowadays, I'm my own boss and have the freedom to call my own shots. It's probably not everyone's cup of tea but I absolutely love what I do. It doesn't feel like work to me, it's more like a game now and I wouldn't ever want to do anything else.

Whatever you do, put your heart and soul into it. Try to find something you're passionate about and never stop believing in yourself. Everyone goes thru periods of uncertainty in life, you just gotta embrace the challenges, take the bull by the horns and enjoy the ride. Best of luck to you, friend.

a reply to: Tuomptonite

hard reading, i didn't get past the first sentence

a reply to: corblimeyguvnor

I guess I coulda summed up my wall of text by saying:

Don't be sad. Just get a job

Become an apprentice and get paid to learn a trade. Take the knowledge you gain and start your own hustle

a reply to: Tuomptonite

Yeah I just don't feel... Talented or capable. Perhaps it's an issue with confidence more than anything.

a reply to: deadlyhope

There is some great advice here. DB's point about not being alone is one worth taking to heart.

Over many years...what I've discovered about 'finding your passion' is that you don''t look for it...you realize it.

IT finds YOU....and you only really recognize it, not because it makes you happy,...but because it gives you joy.
'Joy' and 'Happiness' are two completely different experiences...with joy being the most rare.

Many thing can make you happy...in many ways...but experiencing joy...indicates you've found passion.

When you can KNOW the difference between Joy and Happiness...you'll be able to begin to recognize your passion in life.

I have read your threads over the last few weeks. Have you heard of Paternal Postnatal Depression (PPND)?

As for PPND (Paternal Postnatal Depression), some research suggests that it develops more gradually in men over the course of the child’s first year than postpartum depression develops in women.

Maybe take a look. It has some good info. Depression in males often have different symptom to females.

Increased anger and conflict with others
Increased use of alcohol or other drugs
Frustration or irritability
Violent behavior
Losing weight without trying
Isolation from family and friends
Being easily stressed
Impulsiveness and taking risks, like reckless driving and extramarital sex
Feeling discouraged
Increases in complaints about physical problems
Ongoing physical symptoms, like headaches, digestion problems or pain
Problems with concentration and motivation
Loss of interest in work, hobbies and sex
Working constantly
Frustration or irritability
Misuse of prescription medication
Increased concerns about productivity and functioning at school or work
Fatigue
Experiencing conflict between how you think you should be as a man and how you actually are
Thoughts of suicide

A man who’s depressed won’t experience all these symptoms. Some men experience only a few of them, while others experience many. And how bad these symptoms get also varies among men – and over time.

postpartummen

a reply to: Morrad

Hmm very interesting. Not going to diagnose myself on the spot but that does explain my situation very well actually... Unexplained pain, higher levels of stress, irritability and such.

Thanks for looking out!