Finally an update for all those concerned

Hi everyone this is Puppy Love and finally I have an update!!!!

Just got the call, and all my background checks and such has gone through. Next week I start my classes to become a home aid I got the job. I'm excited. Finally my life is beginning to really look up again! Also for the first time my father has been excited about and encouraging towards a job I'm going into. He seems to think it's one I will be very happy with. Is nice not having him be so negative for once in my life, especially after how bad he treated me during the family get together in July.

I've also been taking the 5-HTP everyone has recommended. It seems like it's helping some. There's been lots of stress lately as my roommate lost his job. But it was at a horrible company who were massively underpaying him anyway. All the jobs he's currently been called to interview for offer between 5 and 7 dollars more an hour. Is interviewing for one as we speak so that's good in the long run. He's a vet so was able to get rent taken care of for the rest of the year. Either way money is tight til we get money coming back in, but the future is looking bright once we get through this hurdle. So I'm positive. I think the 5-HTP is helping a bit with that. Otherwise I'd be a hopeless mess right now.

I'm still struggling with depression, I can feel it trying to eat away at me, but it feels manageable. My new job comes with insurance so once that kicks in, I won't make the same mistake I always do and assume because things are going alright it means I am alright. I will seek help as soon as I can once I'm able. Anything to prevent another crash and burn. I may get disheartened often, there's a lot in this world to bring us all down, but I want to live too. I have an insatiable curiosity and while I hate seeing the worst the world has to offer, I also love seeing the positive progressions and advances. So now that I'm not at my lowest I can say I have no interest in going anywhere. So none of those suicidal intrusive thoughts for first time in a long time. Relieved about that.

I really want to thank you all for being here in my time of need. For your well wishes, for your encouragement, and much needed advice and your helping hands. This update has been a long time coming, but getting a job has taken a bit of time. I'm fortunate, and appreciative that with my shaky job background to be given this chance. One I would not have known to even try for or be in pursuit of if not for all of you.

With much love for all who have supported me in my time of need,
-Puppy Love

a reply to: Puppylove
Puppy I am so excited for you!!! Woohoo!!!! I hope that things continue moving forward. I am sorry about your dad not being positive. You should not have to have something for him to be proud of you.

Please once your insurance kicks in, go see someone. Depression is a crazy crazy beast. It can still sneak up on you even when having the "best" of days!

Please continue to keep us updated. I have found that the ATS community is so much more than conspiracies and breaking news.....it has a heart that beats around the world!

a reply to: Martin75

I will, expect an update when I start working for a bit, I hopefully look forward to telling you all I like my job and things are still looking up.

As for getting help, I'm hopeful I've finally learned my lesson this time and get it as soon as I can.

Thanks for the support and yes ATS has been awesome to me while dealing with this.

a reply to: Puppylove

Glad to hear things are looking up in some aspects! I hope things continue to get better, and you feel good as well.

Have you looked into St. Johns Wort? I'd suggest your own studies/consult with a professional on anything people suggest - but I've heard it is quite effective, even as effective as prescription drugs, without the crazy side effects - Others to note may be SAME, B-vitamins, and some adaptogenic herbs with clinically proven results as well ( Such as Rhodiola Rosea, GInseng and such for energy/mood )

a reply to: deadlyhope

I will definitely look into it, thanks!

a reply to: Puppylove

Congratulations Puppylove!

a reply to: Puppylove

I'm happy for you.

So very happy to hear that! And you'll be doing good (imo at least) with that job, too!

Depression is a horrible beast I know well firsthand. I will keep you in my thoughts and, regardless of whether you believe in it, prayers.

Peace.

a reply to: Puppylove

That is just fantastic!
I hope this line of work helps you as well as helps the folks you will be supporting/providing care for.

Great news all around and although you are struggling...time may tell and you seem to have the desire for change and a will to live and I think that can make all the difference sometimes...

Good luck and please keep us up to date!

a reply to: AceWombat04

Doing good is part of why I wanted it and am excited about it. I can't stand working to produce stuff to help soulless corporations profit. At least with this I know I'm helping real people with real needs.

That's brilliant news PuppyL, hope all goes well from now on

a reply to: Puppylove

This is great news PuppyLove - we're excited for this new chapter you're about to embark on! Persistence and dedication truly do pay off, this proves that.

Looking forward to hearing more about this. Congratulations!

a reply to: Puppylove

Happy for you!!

Thank you for sharing the good news. Hope your roommate gets back on track soon as well.

Sending lots of positive vibes your way...

AB

a reply to: Puppylove

Congrat!
Good News!

a reply to: Puppylove

I am so glad to hear that there is a light in sight. Now the object is to make it to the end of that tunnel and them set a new goal so that you never get complacent. Keep looking ahead to the next new horizon, but never, ever lose sight of where you have been and where you could be. Use it as a lesson in how to appreciate what you do have so that you even if the horizon is always up ahead you can also be content in the moment too.

It's a weird lesson to learn, a strange kind of zen, but it leads to peace.

Be content where you are but know you can always reach up too just don't beat yourself if you never get there. That`s why being content in the moment is important.

a reply to: ketsuko

I will try my best.

Yay! That is wonderful news!

Glad things are turning around. Congrats and a wish and prayer for it to continue for you. Go get them kiddo. Your a good person and you can do it.

a reply to: lonegurkha

thanks for the update, glad things are looking up for you!

So far classes are going great. We've gotten out early everyday because so far my class has been nailing every test and been learning really fast. Our instructor keeps complimenting us and being surprised by how smart our class has been. Well except for one person who never even came back the second day. I'm the class clown and troublemaker of course, but that's normal for me, someone's got to keep things lighthearted. After all people learn best when having fun.

We also watched "the Notebook" in class. I hadn't seen it in a long while. Still the most heart wrenching romantic movie ever.

I've been in a weird good mood after class singing with the radio and stuff. Is nice, I haven't been in a good happy mood like this, feeling good about myself and life for a long time. I think my depression has successfully gone into remission for a time. Still going to be responsible and get help once I get insurance again though. Not going to make the remission = cured mistake again. I've made the mistake so many times now I'm practically the poster girl for it.

My roommate is getting unemployment now, as well as help with rent from the VA so we're ok monetarily at the moment. Plus he just finished paying off his car and so too will our furniture soon, so fewer bills. So yay we're ok financially at the moment. Especially once I start getting money coming in and he gets another job. Every potential job he's had so far pays between 3 and 8 dollars more than he was being paid before so when one eventually calls back that will be fantastic. We'll be able to start living and eating healthy and stop struggling or worrying.

All in all everything is looking up. Is hard to believe feeling the way I am right now, how bad things were when I first started talking about my depression on here. Oh almost forgot, my dad is still being really supportive of me and this endeavor which is a really nice change of pace, is good to have him helping bring me up rather than down for once.

So yeah, that's my current update for anyone concerned. Thank you all for the support and friendship.