I'm bi-gendered

Considering half the threads on the opening page are about transgenderism I figured I'd add to the mess, and hopefully clear a couple things up.

First off, being transgender is about having a distinction between internal and external gender. Not everyone transitions, or gets what I call a "hack job".

Those of you whose internal gender matches that of your body likely wouldn't notice a distinction at all. What is that distinction anyway? It's about mannerisms, tendencies, identification (similarity) with others. It's very difficult being different from the masses. Most of us who don't identify "correctly" create a mask, an external persona. It's not real though, it's acting. I didn't feel comfortable trying to fit in with a group I didn't identify with so I relegated myself to the outcast class when I was 4 years old. Pretending to be someone you're not is a type of lie and that bothered me. I didn't know what I was back then, just that I was different. I feel like an alien even now.

So, yes I'm bi-gendered or a "two spirit", one of many subsets of transgender. The heart(soul) feels, the mind thinks. We experience a symbiotic relationship in this body. We are present-moment awareness and temporal awareness. When I say "I" it could be either one of us speaking depending on the subject. Occasionally we'll both say the same thing at the same time. Sometimes one of the words will be different and it will come out weird. There are many different types of gender configurations, some stranger than me. Will the craziness ever end? Probably not.

There are a couple things about what's going on with current politics and transgenderism that I have an opinion on:

I think people should be referred to by the gender of their body as it appears. How are people supposed to refer to me when there are two of us in here, male and female? It's confusing enough already.

2nd: the restroom issue. Just put fully enclosed stalls around all toilets and urinals and have a unisex restroom. Who cares what's next to you at the sink? We already have gays/lesbians murderers and molesters sharing public restrooms with us so why the outrage against trans people? I usually don't care for the Huffington post but this is relevant...

a 9-year-old boy was murdered nearly 20 years ago in a men’s room in Oceanside, California. The boy’s aunt didn’t want to accompany him into the men’s room or bring him into the ladies’ room. She found her nephew bleeding to death in the bathroom, his throat slit by a 20-year-old man who was later charged and convicted.
source

That's interesting, but what you're calling bi-gendered sounds a lot like disassociative schizophrenia.

Basically you either have an X chromosome in every cell of your body or you do not. If you do and pretend you do not, or if you do not and pretend you do, you're simply an imposter. Your "feelings" are beside the point. You're still faking it. There's nothing "phobic" about pointing out this plain fact. You can accept it or don't. If you don't, that's your problem, not anybody else's.

a reply to: circlemaker Thank you for sharing your personal experience of being both female and male or bi-gender. Personally I think every human has masculine and feminine qualities or traits.. like the Yin/Yang philosophy.

On the inside, in my mind and heart, I feel like a being with no particular gender, but thinking about it the other day, I realized I wouldn't want to be a male on the outside appearance and am comfortable being outwardly female.

Everyone's different, I grew up with all brothers and I feel like that has made a difference in who I am as a female.
What matters is being comfortable within our bodies with whatever changes we may or may not make and to be kind to one another as we are all human beings and I personally believe we all have a bit male and bit female inside of us.. finding the right balance is key to ones well being, IMHO.

a reply to: circlemaker

I'm bi-gendered

Very interesting.

Thanks for sharing your story OP

originally posted by: schuyler
Basically you either have an X chromosome in every cell of your body or you do not. If you do and pretend you do not, or if you do not and pretend you do, you're simply an imposter. Your "feelings" are beside the point. You're still faking it. There's nothing "phobic" about pointing out this plain fact. You can accept it or don't. If you don't, that's your problem, not anybody else's.

Apparently alot of Lawmakers disagree with you because they are making it their problem. CHromosomes arent even used by the olympics anymore to identify a persons Sex. So obviously they are not fool proof.

Transgenders dont claim to be natural men or women after their procedures or hormone treatments so ho ware they pretending?

ANd I though your side was all about "feelings" Liek your feelings about th eplanet. or global warming. or feelings on elections.

If people treated them as everyone else people would not call them phobic.

a reply to: circlemaker

I'm sorry to say this but I have a feeling the world is going to end pretty soon... The pace at which things are changing is mind boggling.

originally posted by: WombRaider69
a reply to: circlemaker

I'm sorry to say this but I have a feeling the world is going to end pretty soon... The pace at which things are changing is mind boggling.

Sooner the better. but not likely.

You can truly say that intersex people are "bi-gendered".

Thank you for sharing that with us. It was very well-written and explained. Not going through that though, it's hard to fully wrap my head around the full scope of your feelings. When you talk about internal gender, mannerisms, tendencies, do you mean how some boys have softer or effeminate mannerisms, and some girls are Tom-boyish (sorry if that term is offensive) than others?

originally posted by: Deaf Alien
You can truly say that intersex people are "bi-gendered".

Kind of surprised to hear you say that. I thought you believed gender was what you 'identify' as, not the physical body...?

originally posted by: WombRaider69
a reply to: circlemaker

I'm sorry to say this but I have a feeling the world is going to end pretty soon... The pace at which things are changing is mind boggling.

Society as we know it is certainly going to face some monumental changes in the next decade or so... but the world coming to an end? Most likely, it won't.

The article says from twenty years ago and had nothing to do with a transgender. I think inclusive restrooms are more appropriate for families, handicapped and transgender. Trans imo can use whatever restroom they like. WHAT I DONT LIKE is when a man carries his little girl to a urinal while he uses it, with other guys, instead of a stall, especially if I am standing there peeing. I also don't want a woman coming in while im peeing with her little boy. I do agree that a child should be accompanied by a parent in certain public restrooms, boys more than girls. Men have urinals and that can increase area risk of perverted behavior like an interstate rest stop , women do not have urinals, they have particians.

As for the topic, everyone has their own bullsh*t, yours is just about your gender identity. It sucks we cant all be perfect, here is something that will make you all feel better if you have any issues. My friend was born a normal kid but exploded in weight at 10 years old. He had bright red stretch marks all over his body. He gained weight so fast he had no idea why, he was an active kid. He was bullied picked on and worse he was deathly afraid to take his shirt off in front of anyone, even me. The stretch marks were on his arms, stomach, sides of the chest, love handle area, inside the thighs, tramp stamp area and probably on his buttocks as well. The kids skin was screwed. What scared him the most was having to change in p.e. , or shirts and skins for basketball which he refused or god forbid showering in junior high but thankfully we weren't forced to do that. This caused him massive issues. He was overweight until after high school. These traumas left him with weird sexual and sociological malfunctions and not able to have a relationship.

Today this guy is referred to as a super hot dude, no kidding. He is thin, in shape and with a shirt on he looks amazing. But the stretch marks only faded over time. He still cant take his shirt off at the beach or anywhere. He fantasizes about women but hooks up with guys because he isn't ashamed of his stripes around men but is mostly disgusted by men. He turned out to be successful and is happy most of the time but it sucks for him having to hide his skin and no matter what he does, eats or rubs on him, they will never go away, I know this because this guy is my best friend.

a reply to: new_here

Do you know what intersex means?

a reply to: Deaf Alien

Dude I'm pretty sure you're normal. Why do we have a lot of physically normal people arguing these subjects? I don't get it...

Op, do you get offended, when someone asks "what are you?" Seems a lot of transgender...or...whatever.. think it's a rude question but what are they to do when you can't tell?

a reply to: breakingbs


I think "whatsit" is ok. ..

a reply to: breakingbs

I wouldn't think myself as "normal" LOL.

The reason why I tend to get involved in those threads is because I want to stop discrimination.