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Who fancies sharing some random nonsense for the next 20 mins?

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posted on May, 2 2016 @ 01:54 AM
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Does chuckles count as laughter?




posted on May, 2 2016 @ 03:02 AM
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originally posted by: Skid Mark
a reply to: chr0naut



Hwo di yuo get thnn oyt? Sorrh abit thw typing glt my elvoes stuj un mu eaez.

My eyes!!!! My eyes!!!!


Don't worry, I got them out.

All I had to do was to pinch my nostrils closed between my buttock cheeks and then just breathe all my air up into my head (like playing the bagpipes - thank God for circular breathing!). They just popped right out.

Cleared my sinuses too.



posted on May, 2 2016 @ 03:32 AM
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originally posted by: boozo
Does chuckles count as laughter?


When I counted, both have eight letters, so, yeah.



posted on May, 2 2016 @ 03:43 AM
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I came home from work the other night and my wife said to me playfully
"Ooooo, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

I smiled back at her and said
"Both..."



Then I pulled out the gun and shot her in the face...



posted on May, 2 2016 @ 07:26 AM
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a reply to: OpenEars123

About 65 years ago i used to climb up onto our 2 story house and play war. I would cut down a few of my dad's shot-gun cartridges, remove the buckshot, and go to the rooftop. When i would "shoot" the baddies on the street below,from the noise,the # would hit the fan!!...i was12 years old.



posted on May, 2 2016 @ 07:40 AM
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Can any of you (without searching) tell me where I first heard this song?
My favorite verse is the one where the alien wants you for it's mate.

Answer found :HERE

CHORUS:
It's a great big, beautiful, wonderful, incredible, super-spectacular day
And your heart is humming with good times coming
And you got that happy feeling things are going your way
All the bells are ringing and a little bird's singing while he sits on your window sill
Singing yessiree, I can surely see, it will plainly be, most definitely
A super-spectacular day! Untilllllllll...
Your sister pours glue in her hair and blames you
And your neighbor says that you're abusing her cat
And you just left the john with the water turned on
And the house gets all wet and your mother's upset
And you'd die if you knew what your dad's gonna do
And your python gets loose and you know it's no use
And you cry there in fear and it's now very clear...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

You go out for a spin and your sunroof caves in
And the steering wheel shakes so you slam on the brakes
And the gears get all stuck as you sideswipe a truck
And you run out of gas while you're trying to pass
And you're stalled on the tracks and you try to relax
But the train's coming through and it's heading for you
And you have a quick flash as you brace for the crash....
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

'Round quarter to five your relations arrive
And you greet cousin Beth with terrible breath
And a fat British guy who destroys your hi-fi
And your great uncle Fred who gets drunk in your bed
And your third cousin Dick who is mentally sick
And his creepy friend Joe and six more you don't know
And you're sure there and then as you're shafted again...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

You're called down in class and you feel like an ass
'Cuz you don't have a clue and you know that it's due
To those classes you skipped and you're fly is unzipped
And your acne has spread to the back of your head
And some jerk spreads the word that you're some kind of nerd
And you fight to hold and punch for a wall [?]
And there isn't a doubt as they're flunking you out...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

'Round seven at night you go out for a bite
The streets are aglow from a large UFO
A creature comes out with two heads and a snout
It talks like a frog and throws up on your dog
It thinks you are great and wants you for its mate
You're sealed in a case and go flying in space
And you silently say as the Earth fades away...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

A quarter past eight you pick up your blind date
And you really go ape for her fabulous shape
Of the girls that you've met she's the classiest yet
And she's pretty and bright and it's love at first sight
And it's really a shame she's not feeling the same
'Cuz she thinks you're a shmuck and she says "lots of luck"
And you sob in despair as she gives you the air...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

You develop a twitch and a horrible itch
And you're covered with spots and you're getting the trots
And you're feet start to swell and it's easy to tell
From this hideous wheeze that some awful disease
So you call an M.D. and he says "don't ask me"
If it gets any worse you can speak to my nurse
And you manage to say as you wither away...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

You walk out the door of a dry cleaning store
And you're grabbed by surprise by three mafia guys
Who mistakenly think that you're Hymie the Fink
They break your right arm and do bodily harm
And you're writhing in pain and you try to explain
That your name is Jerome and you're on your way home
And you let out a sigh as you're left there to die...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS
edit on 522016 by seattlerat because: my spilling sugs

edit on 522016 by seattlerat because: (no reason given)

edit on 522016 by seattlerat because: (no reason given)

edit on 522016 by seattlerat because: added a link



posted on May, 2 2016 @ 08:33 AM
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Today's To-Do List:
1. Figure out why the Griffin Family of Family Guy have meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner every night.

If I can just get this accomplished today I will call it a win.



posted on May, 2 2016 @ 10:09 AM
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Why do we Cook Bacon, and Bake Cookies?

I met Tom Selleck when I was a kid, I only remember the mustache, so much detail of that mustache...



posted on May, 2 2016 @ 01:17 PM
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a reply to: OpenEars123

O.k., well the 20 minutes is probably over, but I find myself constantly thinking about the same questions such as:

Are there more people dead and buried in France than are presently living in France?

Why can't the English who invented English properly pronounce the word Jaguar?
Why can't the English, who invented English, properly pronounce the name Graham? It's not Gray Am. Its Graham as in the cracker.

Why do New Yorkers pronounce "Didn't" as "Dinnit"?

I could go on but it's pointless.



posted on May, 2 2016 @ 02:11 PM
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originally posted by: TonyS
Why can't the English who invented English properly pronounce the word Jaguar?


I would argue it seems they are correct on their pronouncing that, at least in terms of intuitive spelling.

Jagwar

Jag u ar




Why do New Yorkers pronounce "Didn't" as "Dinnit"?


Always in a rush; it takes more time and effort to pronounce that d in the middle. You have to do a whole extra little inward motion with your tongue, if you pronounce didn't it fast, its easy to skip that awkward motion.
edit on 2-5-2016 by ImaFungi because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 2 2016 @ 02:26 PM
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What if I told you it was Jiminey crack corn like the cricket and not Jimmy... would you write a mandella thread or mandala one... would you want it to go full Nelson or half Nelson? Nevermind because how they tie ties in castle Windsor is of little importance... when theres a fox hunt and the hounds get distracted by rabbits and Alice is bored at home looking for something anything or anyone to relieve that feeling of being quite small. Its of unimportance mutters the door mouse one and one is the the same for all, dance dance dance and have fun come spring, summer rain and fall cuddle cozy in winter and roasted like the toasted mallow of ones earthly marrow as no where south flies the sparrow as make believe cowboys shoot a horse named bullett from another horse named trigger for this luster of metal called silver... heigh oh spaghetti o stuck to those faces from those horny and hands wandering curiously mad to nether regions despite warnings of a netherworld and in a cupboard on a wall there she stood suprizingly quite tall.



posted on May, 4 2016 @ 02:03 AM
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originally posted by: Quantum12
a reply to: AK907ICECOLD

That is funny "Microsoft Works" lol
Can I try a few? Thanks


alone together
awful good
"beggarly riches"
(Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions by John Donne)
bitter sweet
"brisk vacancy"
("Self Portrait in a Convex Mirror" by John Ashbery)
cheerful pessimist
civil war


Cheerful pessimist. Now that just gave me an ab workout and gave me an excuse not to go to the gym tomorrow you're awesome thank you



posted on May, 4 2016 @ 02:08 AM
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a reply to: OpenEars123

Fundamentally paramount

Good pain

How about an accurate estimate

I was in a bar once back in the day and they had a small person or midget whatever's politically correct have a securities shirt on and he was a bouncer at a bar at 2 1/2 feet tall and he eyeball of my friend and did not like him at all none of us knew why he kept giving him I'm watching you fingers to the eyes, every possible moment staring at him finally he came over and said I don't like you and I'm gonna throw you out as soon as I can

My friend simply smiled and looked at him and said " why the short temper ".

We were kicked out and no longer ever go to that bar again .




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