It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
originally posted by: Domo1
This one is up there
That's right, brothers and sisters, I am here on ATS to steer you to the awful truth about our feline 'friends.' They are biological transmitters working as spies for our Alien Overlords. Take these facts into account and reach your own conclusion... Beware, what you are about to read will forever change the way you see these minions of our extraterrestrial oppressors.
1. There is no documentation before Ancient Egypt that mentions the existence of Cats, and IN Ancient Egypt, they are worshipped as Gifts from The Gods.
2. Science is baffled by a cat's purr, and cannot determine how the sound is produced. (Feedback, much?)
3. If you hold a cat's ears back and describe what you see, it is a perfect match to the classic 'Grey'. Almond shaped eyes, small mouth, small nose.
Freaked out yet? How about these:
4. A cat can see exponentially better than you. Making it appear that it must be more advanced evolutionarily speaking. How?
5. Ever watch a cat wake from a deep sleep and run out of the room in an instant? Transmissions from the mothership coming in, and must be alone.
6. All things that come out of cats are totally unnatural. (Not of this earth.)
Still not convinced? I got a few more for the more skeptical among you:
7. Cats survive situations that any Earthbound animal would surely perish in. How can a cat fall out of a four story building backwards, and land on its feet? (Anti gravity properties)
8. If you die, your cats will eat you. Not really a link between cats and Aliens, but still pretty creepy.
9. Ever wake up and your cat was sitting on your chest, staring at you? Taking your will not to do their bidding and dreaming of the day their Alien handlers once again fit you for your yolk and chains.
You have been warned, intrepid ATS'ers...
originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
What are you really bad at ? This thread degenerated perfectly.
This one was pretty good as well: Active ATS roll call. Regular? reader? lurker? occasional? please post.
And this one: ATS new years resolutions. Do you have any? Even though cranky-pants showed up. [/quote
Two of the three are my threads.
I see your cheque arrived on time and did not bounce this month.
]edit on 29/4/2016 by nonspecific because: (no reason given)
Hhh... I can see now that I will never be taken seriously no matter what I post. What have I done to my reputation? Or rather, the reputation that I might have built up for myself. I should have posted this AFTER doing some more respectable things eh?
Ok, this is my proposal: Usually, at about five in the morning, we get a few 'visitors' in the garden. I'm banking that they'll come along and, when/ if they do what they should do, I'll film them and what they do. Then I'll put that on a website I have intimate access to and you can watch the footage. Remember: If I fail, you will get it! I promise! It's just that my camera is built into the laptop and I don't really feel like taking it out into the street (not round here at least). Who knows, you might get to see me! Well, if you're lucky! I'm joking, I promise you'll get something soon, even if I have to stay up all night every night.
Oh, and I would NEVER let the little blighters get at MY nuts!
Ramadwarf on the ultimate sacrifice for Skunk Works and the TRUTH