Cats are Alien Camcorders!

That's right, brothers and sisters, I am here on ATS to steer you to the awful truth about our feline 'friends.' They are biological transmitters working as spies for our Alien Overlords. Take these facts into account and reach your own conclusion... Beware, what you are about to read will forever change the way you see these minions of our extraterrestrial oppressors.

1. There is no documentation before Ancient Egypt that mentions the existence of Cats, and IN Ancient Egypt, they are worshipped as Gifts from The Gods.

2. Science is baffled by a cat's purr, and cannot determine how the sound is produced. (Feedback, much?)

3. If you hold a cat's ears back and describe what you see, it is a perfect match to the classic 'Grey'. Almond shaped eyes, small mouth, small nose.

Freaked out yet? How about these:

4. A cat can see exponentially better than you. Making it appear that it must be more advanced evolutionarily speaking. How?

5. Ever watch a cat wake from a deep sleep and run out of the room in an instant? Transmissions from the mothership coming in, and must be alone.

6. All things that come out of cats are totally unnatural. (Not of this earth.)

Still not convinced? I got a few more for the more skeptical among you:

7. Cats survive situations that any Earthbound animal would surely perish in. How can a cat fall out of a four story building backwards, and land on its feet? (Anti gravity properties)

8. If you die, your cats will eat you. Not really a link between cats and Aliens, but still pretty creepy.

9. Ever wake up and your cat was sitting on your chest, staring at you? Taking your will not to do their bidding and dreaming of the day their Alien handlers once again fit you for your yolk and chains.

You have been warned, intrepid ATS'ers...

I saw that movie! 60's Disney right?

That is a fascinating Cat thesis though!! Best OP today.

reply to post by jimnuggits

Well...I have seen a bullet go through the back of the head of a cat....I didn't see any wires.

that is by far the most absolutely insane crazy thing I have read all day, though you make an interesting point.

got one for the list maybe, cats create ungodly amounts of electrostatic, acting as a sort of walking capacitor >_> now, where is that aluminum foil..

Cats are definitely a bit strange. One other peculiarity: they also have reptile eyes.

This is a fantastic theory! One of the best ever conceived!...I have a very open mind...I love it! and it could very well be true...Wow...

This must also be why they use litter boxes!
Remaining in the home to do their business means that they are always within ear shot.

Cats are biological robots, built for emitting and receiving. They appear fleshy, but its probably an advanced self repairing polymer. Becomes unstable when wet, plus it scraps their relay to the mothership.

reply to post by jimnuggits


I'm going to S&F this, just because I sat with my cat and read your post to him, he looked at me, meowed, and left. Only but a few things could have happened.

Either, hes a cat and got bored.

He wanted me to realize that I am a human, and obviously cant understand a word that was coming out of my mouth.....

Or he realized that I am on to him, and he wanted to distract me, and play it off like he doesn't care if I know, because I can never prove it

BTW, I really do think that there is something about cats, just maybe not this, but something.
Peace, NRE.

Originally posted by jimnuggits
That's right, brothers and sisters, I am here on ATS to steer you to the awful truth about our feline 'friends.' They are biological transmitters working as spies for our Alien Overlords. Take these facts into account and reach your own conclusion... Beware, what you are about to read will forever change the way you see these minions of our extraterrestrial oppressors.

1. There is no documentation before Ancient Egypt that mentions the existence of Cats, and IN Ancient Egypt, they are worshipped as Gifts from The Gods.

2. Science is baffled by a cat's purr, and cannot determine how the sound is produced. (Feedback, much?)

3. If you hold a cat's ears back and describe what you see, it is a perfect match to the classic 'Grey'. Almond shaped eyes, small mouth, small nose.

Freaked out yet? How about these:

4. A cat can see exponentially better than you. Making it appear that it must be more advanced evolutionarily speaking. How?

5. Ever watch a cat wake from a deep sleep and run out of the room in an instant? Transmissions from the mothership coming in, and must be alone.

6. All things that come out of cats are totally unnatural. (Not of this earth.)

Still not convinced? I got a few more for the more skeptical among you:

7. Cats survive situations that any Earthbound animal would surely perish in. How can a cat fall out of a four story building backwards, and land on its feet? (Anti gravity properties)

8. If you die, your cats will eat you. Not really a link between cats and Aliens, but still pretty creepy.

9. Ever wake up and your cat was sitting on your chest, staring at you? Taking your will not to do their bidding and dreaming of the day their Alien handlers once again fit you for your yolk and chains.

You have been warned, intrepid ATS'ers...

1. Maybe they were the only people moved enough by cats to "write" about them.

2. Science is baffled by many things, until they figure it out. Try getting a cat to purr with a stethoscope down it's throat.

3. Greys have no canines, no whiskers, no fur, need I go on? Stop staring at your cat!

4. A cat doesn't see better than you. A cat sees much worse and in black and white. They can see at night, but that costs them color vision.

5. Yes I have. They normally enjoy a drink or a trip to the litter box after they wake. Normal animal behavior.

6. Last I checked, the only things that came out of cats appeared natural to me. Is that why dogs eat cat poo? Maybe they're on to something!

7. Most cats were built to climb in the wild, it's no surprise that a smaller light animal with high muscle mass can land softly over a balcony. Some humans, with a bit of luck, and skill, can do this too.

8. A carnivore eating meat? Who'd a thunk it.

9. Or maybe the second most intelligent quadruped wants you to feed it. We'll never know!

reply to post by jimnuggits
Eh...Cyrus has only actively tried to kill me once (pretty closely succeeded), and has otherwise been very friendly and affectionate. If I could count humanity as generally on the same level, I might be happy to welcome our new alien overlords.

~eyes Cyrus suspiciously~

Try going for the jugular and swelling my face and neck up again with your dirty mouth, cat, just because I'm drinking vodka tonics...

Fine, fine - S&F for you. Good stuff.

A star and a flag for sure!...The kings and Queens of ancient egypt,who were of alien descent,probably brought cats to earth from their world...

Oh noes..... I've been discovered!


Now you must die!

Maybe the cat sits on your chest and stares at you because it hates you somehow, maybe one day you pushed the cat off of you and it just hated you from then on?

My friends cat ignores people all the time, seems hes being a bad spy

It would only make sense that man's best friend would want to chase away the enemy.
2nd

Heres a quote from wikipedia...

As The New York Times wrote in 2007, "Until recently the cat was commonly believed to have been domesticated in ancient Egypt, where it was a cult animal",[10] but a study that year revealed that the lines of descent of all house cats probably run through as few as five self-domesticating African Wildcats (Felis silvestris lybica) c. 8000 BC, in the Near East.[4] The earliest direct evidence of cat domestication is a kitten that was buried alongside a human 9,500 years ago in Cyprus.[11]

You really draw conclusions from nothing. I wonder if these post are from people that think we are all nutters and they are just trying to make fun. If I wear a Alien race and wanted to learn more about pets would be a perfect tool.

reply to post by jimnuggits


news.nationalgeographic.com...

The carefully interred remains of a human and a cat were found buried with seashells, polished stones, and other decorative artifacts in a 9,500-year-old grave site on the Mediterranean island of Cyprus. This new find, from the Neolithic village of Shillourokambos, predates early Egyptian art depicting cats by 4,000 years or more.

Or it could be that the Cypriots were the alien overlords?

Originally posted by DisturbedToo
reply to post by jimnuggits

 

Well...I have seen a bullet go through the back of the head of a cat....I didn't see any wires.

Well... That's just sick bro.

And their connections with witches?

This all changed during the Middle Ages. The black cat became associated with witches, and as a consequence were destroyed in hideous ways. Witches were believed to transmutate into a cat nine times during their life. In Hungary, cats in general were assumed to become witches between the ages of seven and twelve. To avoid this fate, crosses were cut into the cat's skin. The thirteenth century pope Gregory IX declared the Cathars (a heretical religious sect) bred black cats because the animals were the devil in disguise. A holy war against the Cathars was declared shortly after the Pope's announcement.