Cats are Alien Camcorders!

reply to post by jimnuggits


Well I just told my cat to tell his people to come get me and take me off this crappy planet....he just looked at me like I was an idiot hahahahahahaha

Excuse me while I completely prove you wrong. Just for fun of course, since this is obviously a joke/troll thread.

1. There is no documentation before Ancient Egypt that mentions the existence of Cats, and IN Ancient Egypt, they are worshipped as Gifts from The Gods.

What? Yes there is! Cats have been around for 30 million years. Much longer than people have even existed

www.floridapanthernet.org...

2. Science is baffled by a cat's purr, and cannot determine how the sound is produced. (Feedback, much?)

Where on earth are you coming up with this nonsense?

They know exactly how cat's purr...

animals.howstuffworks.com...

3. If you hold a cat's ears back and describe what you see, it is a perfect match to the classic 'Grey'. Almond shaped eyes, small mouth, small nose.

I am pretty sure what one sees, is more a matter of perspective and perspective changes from person to person. Where you see an alien, I see a heart. That is proof of nothing. Besides, no two cats have uniform ears. They are not exactly the same as others... Which would be required for them all to create the same image.

Side note, if you fold my Chihuahua in half, he will scream. Does this make him an alien tape recorder?

Freaked out yet?

Not at all... Honestly I am laughing a bit...

4. A cat can see exponentially better than you. Making it appear that it must be more advanced evolutionarily speaking. How?

What? Do you not realize how many animals can see better than humans? Especially in the dark! This does not make them more advanced! It means that they evolved in an environment in which their eyesight was very very important.

You know nothing about evolution.

5. Ever watch a cat wake from a deep sleep and run out of the room in an instant? Transmissions from the mothership coming in, and must be alone.

Okay, you MUST be joking or at least trolling.... If you really believe that.... Then you need help my friend. Animals wake up and run out of rooms all the time. My sister has a dog. This dog sleeps in the bed with you. If you fart, she jumps up and runs out of the room in an instant... I am pretty sure farts are not alien transmissions...

Animals run around and run out of rooms all the time...

6. All things that come out of cats are totally unnatural. (Not of this earth.)

Okay, now I am honestly laughing hysterical at the thought of a cat taking a dump. So cat poop is not of this earth? Hmm, well they are mammals. We all poop... So... poop is actually a by product of aliens for all of us, right? Wrong.

Poop is waste.... it has nothing to do with aliens... all things that come out of cats are very natural.... But I really cannot stop laughing!

Still not convinced? I got a few more for the more skeptical among you:

Are you trying to kill me with laughter?

7. Cats survive situations that any Earthbound animal would surely perish in. How can a cat fall out of a four story building backwards, and land on its feet? (Anti gravity properties)

You should write children's books. For the record, cat's don't always land on their feet. But they do so often because they flip their bodies when falling, until they are facing the right way. Anti gravity? You are funny.

It is called the righting reflex and is made possible because of their skeletal structure.
www.physlink.com...

8. If you die, your cats will eat you. Not really a link between cats and Aliens, but still pretty creepy.

Hey, I guess when they run out of food in their bowl,they have to eat something. I have seen cases of many types of pets doing this...

9. Ever wake up and your cat was sitting on your chest, staring at you? Taking your will not to do their bidding and dreaming of the day their Alien handlers once again fit you for your yolk and chains.

I had a dog that did that... It meant he had to go pee. I guess that was my dog wanting me to do his bidding.

You have been warned, intrepid ATS'ers...

Honestly, thanks for the laugh. I have not laughed so hard in a long time and I needed it.

This is a very funny joke you have made.

haha my cats name happens to be ALIEN!!!!!!!!!! grey short hair cat i must have knew the day his mothers water broke on my leg and i picked him out and said he looks like an alien... that cat is mine lol... i knew hes been spying on me.. hahah really? funny tho reading this article and having a cat named alien, people ask why i named him alien i hold his ears back and say now u know... this posting made me LMAO... my 2 cents

I've read some odd theories on ATS but this takes the cake!

Cats sleep for like 18 hours a day - not the most efficient spies then!

i have thought of that too.rats carry haunta virus and plague fleas.so cats are a good defense against them.cats also kill snakes.they also would kill birds stealing grain.cats could rub up against a gold plated door ,which would hold a charge and protect your valuables.also i think catscratch fever with children increases iq,as long as the child survives.my own theory.

reply to post by gimme_some_truth



How dare you try to destroy my perfectly good theory with inane 'facts'!

You are obviously under the Cats control.

I pity you.

Let this be a lesson to those of you who do not heed my words, oh mighty ATSers!

That's an utter amount of BS. Egyptians worshiped cats because they were considered "guardians of the underworld". Animals can see the 4th dimension, the astral world. Humans have lost this ability. Cats are highly psychic creatures and have mental powers. In the below video you can see a cat imposing its mind over two alligators.



Cats landing on their feet is an anti-gravity property?? Seriously??? Most of felines of small and medium size can do that. The acquaintanceship with cats is reportedly capable to decrease mental disorders in humans. Cats naturally transmutes bad energy in good.
And what for Greys would use cats as "camcorders" if they can just abduct you, microchip your body without you even know that and track you down your whole life??

OP, seriously???

This is actually in the Aliens and UFOs forum? Too funny!
That said, this is one of the most humorous, tongue-in-cheek threads in awhile. That said, I am a "cat person", so who really knows what they're really up to?!?

Oh wow! If this isn't already a movie, it would really be very good.
___________________________

It kind of already was, in a movie made by disney about 30 years ago..."The Cat From Outer Space" 1978 > www.imdb.com...

Don't forget, during the dark ages they got suspicious and killed all the cats and look what happened to them!!

The conspiracy is true!!

reply to post by blocula


May I remind you of the Disney/ Werner Von Braun connection.

A top Rocket Scientist colludes with Hollywood... Dun Dun DUN!!!

Better be scurred. This cat is obviously being controlled by Grey aliens in an effort to start wiping out the predators of this planet.

reply to post by getreadyalready


Your right! Now i'm suspicious of my little fluffs...
2nd

Dogs must be alien cell phones...recording everything we say and text...

Now i know why my dog has to go outside at night... and the first thing he does is...look up

PROOF! PIC! It's real!!!



It's a grey skinned cat! Probably a hybrid!

Originally posted by Namaste1001
Cats are definitely a bit strange. One other peculiarity: they also have reptile eyes.

Yes, that's what always threw me on cats. That, and the fact they WILL eat your dead body. (used to work in a morgue)I was told many years ago that cats were created by the Reptilians to spy on the human race, so the OP's post was pretty right on. Dogs now, man's best friend. A dog will mourn your death, and guard your body from predators.

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by Traveler 291

 

Stitch did a lot of cute stuff too, but he was programmed for maximum destruction!! It started with stealing everyone's left sock. Just like Cats!

I was really giving the cat conspiracy alot fo thought, but I got totally distracted from the thread trying to figure out how you or the cat knew which sock was the left one?
Things that make me go " Hmmmmmm....".
*stokes chin with raised eyebrow...*

hahaha, thanks for my laugh of the night. I always new my cat was a bit of a "space cadet" (she is bonkers), but now it all makes sense. She is on a covert mission on behalf of the Grays. Everything is so much clearer now.

I had to go to the Doc 3 times the last 2 weeks with my little ball of fur.
Paid hundreds of euro, probably first time i saved his life.

So does this means: Me and my family will get tickets to their Mothership when TSHTF???!

That'll be great

reply to post by Ultraman2011


I try to inform my friends here on ATS everytime I come across a Conspiracy of this magnitude.

I'm sorry you had to find out this way...