Military Wives

Hello and welcome to my rant. Please have a seat, keep your hands and feelings inside the ride at all times until the ride comes to a complete stop at the platform. Please enjoy and thank you for listening.

Before we begin, I must start out by disclosing my feelings about our service members. I have had a massive respect for the military in general ever since I was a small child. My grandfather would tell me stories about his tours in Korea and I would listen in awe that someone would love a country so much that they were willing to sign over their lives so that others may stay home and enjoy their freedoms. I really began to realize how great I have it to be born here when he would tell me how the Korean service members would bury their own people up to the waste and use them as target practice for machetes. I have since had a place in my heart for the struggles they endure and the endless cruelty of the world that they suffer so that people like me can sleep safely in my bed at night. I don't care what your opinions are on war, but you are a damned fool not to respect a man or woman in uniform. Thank you all, sincerely.

I told you that story to tell you this one.

Today I was working in my humble cell phone shop, slaving away to fix busted phones and payment issues that customers usually have. About noon, in walked a pretty blonde who looked to be in her mid 40s. As she told me about her issues with her iPad (she didn't know how to get her notifications off) I could sense something.... pius about her. She did nothing wrong to me but the way she spoke told me that if I had challenged her in any way, I may just end up with a good tongue lashing and a bad review about myself on the company Facebook page. This is something I have dealt with on a day to day basis as customers will never admit fault. It is what it is. Yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that I just DID NOT like this woman and it bothered me. She hadn't said anything wrong or mean to me. In fact she was quite pleasant and seemed to be grateful for my help which I am usually thrilled about. It was driving me absolutely mad that I could not quite place why she made me so uncomfortable. Then, I spotted it.

On her shirt, in bright blue letters, it read "Air Force Wife" which actually made me physically cringe so hard that I was glad she was zeroed in on her phone. I should have stopped reading there and talked myself into not having assumptions but, alas, I am a glutton for punishment and when I noticed the next line I was so disgusted that I had to excuse myself into the back so I could vent about it to a coworker for a second. Underneath the already obnoxious print that so blatantly suggested what level of entitled I imagined her to be, read "Don't confuse your rank with my authority". I think I read that line about 6 times before I realized I was not, in fact, seeing things and that this woman was really standing in front of me right now whilst willingly wearing this shirt.

Before I divulge why this was ever so triggering to me, I will say this. All of my best friends are "military wives" and 2 of them have been in the military themselves. They are loving, amazing, spectacular, wonderful wives as well as excellent friends. I understand that not EVERY wife of a service member is an arrogant, stuck up piss-ant. There are some bad ass ladies out there that are married to amazing men and women alike. However, I have seen the type "wife" the person standing in my store was and I just wanted to shake her and tell her how dumb she looked.

When service members first get out of their initial boot camp/basic training, a lot of family members will buy shirts saying things like "My son is a Marine" or "Proud Army Girlfriend" (that one makes me cackle incessantly, just so you know). It's okay because you are new and they are new and no one really knows the protocol. Not to mention the fact that the PX's or BX's make so much money off of that cheesy # that they will shell it out like candy on Halloween. You want to show support and we get that, we truly do. However, after a while it's time to wise up and say "How much is too much?".

I have witnessed women like her YELLING at men and women in uniform for seemingly no reason whatsoever. Don't salute an officer's wife at the gate and she acts like you have disrespected her husband. Don't hold the door open because you don't see someone's girlfriend and they act like you should be given an Article 15 for disrespect. I am zeroing in on women here because women are the main culprits in these activities. If you ever see one of these wild, entitled, persnickety wastes of space ridiculing a service member, repeat after me....

"What have you done for your country? When is the last time you went 5 days without a shower or any running water? When is the last time you were woken up by mortars? When did you spend 13 months away from your home, friends and family to hang out in a desert with #ty wifi connection and no access to modern day commodities? When was the last time you had to watch people being torn apart limb by limb? When did you last strap 80lbs to your back and travel for 80 miles only to be fired at with an RPG and watch your best friend lose his legs? Oh you haven't? Well forgive me for confusing someone who actually matters with someone who is such a profound and incomprehensible moron. The men and women who serve this country have earned my respect, not the people who are just their # puppets."

Okay, maybe not all of that but at least remind them that they do not have a right to tell anyone in a uniform what to do just the same as students cannot tell teachers how to teach. Morale of the story, I am triggered by military wives with a sense of self entitlement. Please know that I am speaking from things I have witnessed and not pointing fingers at anyone individually. Yet, if you are a service member's wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend and you have said things like this.....stop it.

a reply to: SomeDumbBroad

I know what you mean and once I was accosted for not noticing a military wife while walking out of the px. I was in uniform and she lit me up for not noticing and holding the door for her (she was at the very least 20ft behind me) she cussed me out to which I told her I didn't see her and I said "I'm sorry ma'am" and walked away. Yes I have seen this attitude. Anyway good thread and well put together thanks

I have noticed this as well. I was married to a serviceman before and I never considered being anything but polite to the men and women in uniform. The men on base were always very nice to me. Especially when I was very heavily pregnant (they would bring a van to take me to where my then husband worked so I didn't have to waddle across base and then take me back to the entrance later). I never saw those shirts though I probably would have lost it laughing at someone like the woman you described.

a reply to: TechniXcality

Well people who think that they should take credit for something that needs to be earned are pretty low in my eyes.

a reply to: YachiruKusajishi

I laughed about it later but initially i was heavily irritated with her ignorance. Thank you for not being part of the problem. It seems to be an ever growing plague.

I enjoyed reading your Rant, and have worked in an office with an American Military Wife. She was cool, down to earth and very level headed. She must have been one of the good ones.

This part of your Rant is kind of juvenile though.

originally posted by: SomeDumbBroad
I don't care what your opinions are on war, but you are a damned fool not to respect a man or woman in uniform.

Robert Bales wore a uniform. Many other psycho's have also worn uniforms.
You don't earn respect just by wearing a uniform, you earn respect through your character and actions.

a reply to: Now2016

I think character and action is embodied in joining and completing the heavy and hard training, so that is respectable. Actions taken after that point can and certainly do affect the way a person is viewed. However, and I think it's important, the action of joining is respectable which I believe that is what the OP is alluding to.

a reply to: Now2016

I agree and there are terrible people in every field of work. I am just faster to respect someone who signed up to die for a bigger cause than themselves than someone who potentially married that person for the insurance.

a reply to: SomeDumbBroad

I truly believe you! Everybody was just so nice and down to earth(Well except one junior officer but she had her head stuck up her own rear). Its that special snowflake syndrome again. Service members families make tremendous sacrifices to in their own ways. No where near what someone being shipped to an active combat zone does though. She certainly isn't sacrificing enough that someone should wait to hold the door for their princess wannabe rear!

Sorry TechniXcality that was ridiculous by any sane persons standards. Dang even my 10yr old and 8 yr old get it. My 10yr old walks up to people in uniform and says "Thanks for what you do!" he hugs them and leaves. They fight over who gets to hold the door for military men and women (god help me if they see a woman in uniform they are dang near falling over themselves to get that door). This has been going on since they were little guys too! If a little kid can get it you would think and adult could!

I'm glad I served in an infantry without woman in it. Soon its going to get all stupid when you disrespect the husband of an officer. Just my opinion.

a reply to: Brotherman

I have my own feelings on where I think women should serve but that isn't up to me to decide, unfortunately. SOME women do make it difficult, not all so it's hard to speak in general terms about them.

As someone married to a Soldier, I refuse to associate with wives like this. No thank you.

a reply to: SomeDumbBroad
Sorry, perhaps I'm just to cynical or jaded. I've been left by my long time girlfriend/ fiancee at the time while overseas, I know what kind of military wives and girlfriends are out there. Alot of them are awesome then some of them are just really grimy.

First of all, I apologize for her behavior.

May I offer, my perspective, as a military wife? (Disclosure: I'm also prior service.) We FN hate those b*****s too.

They are called "Dependapotamuses" or "Dependas" for short, and that used to only apply to a certain "type" if you know what I mean, but now it can be any of us really that have a particularly entitled attitude.

BUT, we go through a LOT more than you give us credit for, through no fault of your own, because there is no way you could possible know how s****y we have it. But everyone has s**t ya know and it's NO excuse. Some things that are simple for a civilian are a huge pain in the a** for us because there are more SO MANY more stupid hoops to jump through. Sometimes we have to put on that "mask" and be "snooty" (demanding, confident, and a little pushy too) to get what we need (because we get less respect and have a stereotype that follows us everywhere) or we get shat upon and treated like little girls. I'm DEFINITELY NOT defending her or THAT kind of behavior BUT, when we go to finance or the housing office for example, we gotta put that face on or nothing will get done. I NEED heat in the winter and the ONLY way to get it was to be, well, like her. Maybe she forgot to take her mask off (or it's stuck) haha.

Please don't think we are all like that. She was a bad person who happens to be a spouse. Someone lets her get away with that attitude/behavior BUT there are plenty of people just like her that are NOT affiliated with the military.

BONUS: My least fav kind of mil spouse is the spouse that tries to pull rank on other spouses. Wearing her husbands rank makes me laugh because I usually out rank them legitimately and they don't like it when I'm not impressed or I don't show MORE respect. I also got a LOT of flak for being a female in the military, and all the spouses thought I was out to "get their hubby"...um no thanks, I have my own :/ and you should be worrying about yourself. haha

AND there are PLENTY of dirt bags in uniform...but thank you for respecting my uniform in any case.

Again, sorry, and I hope you have a better day.

Jax

a reply to: SomeDumbBroad

a reply to: spartanwarrior

Good on ya!

a reply to: [post=20587067]Brotherman[

There is a special place in hell for a woman who cheats while her man is overseas

a reply to: Jaxsmash

Oh girl, I understand the struggles. I was in a long time relationship with a deployed Army Sergeant. I get waiting on missions to be done with. The struggle to hold down a job and also be able to be there when they are actually able to talk. I was fortunate enough not to have children but I did nanny for a woman who's husband was deployed so i also have seen 1st hand the effects it has on children and parents of the children. I give a ton of credit to awesome military spouses who support and love their partners but that doesn't mean they have the right to ever pretend to know what it is actually like to be in. Maybe I've seen more terrible spouses than good ones but that's beside the point. I don't expect special treatment because I am a woman, so I certainly don't expect special treatment if I become a wife.

If it makes you feel better, I have even had terrible run ins with Doctor's wives who think they know what is wrong with their ocular cavity just because their husband is a general practitioner (I was a medical records supervisor at an ophthalmology clinic)

The rant is directed at the people who represent the ones i have seen be terrible, not all, of course.

I always interpreted the "Air Force Wife: Don't Confuse Your Rank with My Authority" shirts as humorous; the wife is telling the husband, "It doesn't matter that you're a Chief Mastersergeant, I'm the one in charge at home." It would be kind of like the First Lady telling the President, "It doen't matter that you're the President, I still run the family." My husband is retired military, and I see these shirts all the time on the base near where I live. I never take them seriously.

a reply to: SomeDumbBroad

Ha! Awesome rant.

you are a damned fool not to respect a man or woman in uniform

Call me Fools Gold then, you're a bigger one if you do it just for the uniform. You simply get another perspective when your grandfather was a real prick and a cold blooded Nazi sailor.

Anyways, just a sidenote. Those 'proud to be German' types on our side of the pond are the same sh!t on a different toilet. They achieved nothing on their own but take a lot of pride from being born into a comfortable position. Now that's at least something after all, innit? Chuckle away!

a reply to: PublicOpinion

Opinionated people are opinionated lol