posted on Sep, 11 2015 @ 12:41 PM
originally posted by: Galadriel
If you are in the UK and posting now, isn't it like 4 in the morning or something? Maybe time to sleep?
I feel your pain about the what if's about that bike accident. I have a similar regret. If I had let my husband come back home during his recovery
from addiction, he wouldn't have been on the bike and died in the accident. If only....
So, you have my empathy from across the pond my friend.
I was close to an addict and know what they can put you through. If we sat and swapped hair-raising stories we'd probably have enough to keep us
going for a month.
They still come with baggage, even during and after rehab and I think you made the best decision you could for yourself at the time.
My friend absconded from rehab and spent a week with me just over a year ago. He'd been de-toxed and was in the mood to talk, having had some therapy
and having the error of his ways explained to him. So he confessed to all the things that he'd done behind my back (most of which I'd already
guessed). I was pretty much inured to it after so much experience but there were still a couple of things that left me reeling - he told me about drug
accidents that had nearly killed him. I sat there with a straight face and listened to it all and then had to process it by myself. He went back to
rehab, with a lot of urging and enabling from me, and had the luxury of more therapy. I think he's doing well now, but he's not been in touch for a
while. I've been ill for several months and, now it's me who needs the help and support, he's nowhere to be seen. As usual, his problems and needs
In your husband's case, I think some people just hit the self-destruct button and if they lose one way out, they simply find another.
Either way, they cause devastation to their friends and loved ones and none of us can be blamed for trying to protect ourselves from them or their
behaviour. Our needs, so I've found, will never be top priority because selfishness seems to be a large part of an addict's make-up. Please accept
that your decision had no bearing on what happened. It was his choices and decisions that brought him to where he was. They always do exactly what
they want to do at the time, with no thought for the consequences to other people.
ETA - if anything in this post is (unintentionally) insensitive or seen as thread de-railing, I will ask a mod to delete it.
edit on 11-9-2015 by berenike because: (no reason given)