Is the American way of friendships superficial?

Great thread, great responses. You guys got me thinking

I'll TELL you what is superficial. Superficial is saying things long distance, but not being willing to put them into action. Superficial is not willing to take chances or risks, and thinking more of money or social position or status, even if the world is ending, than simply caring for one another. And what do I mean by caring?

Well nowadays if people cry too much or are in too much pain, we lock them up, put them away, or at the very least, just ignore them.

I mean, what would you think of a poor sucker who called suicide hotline only to be put on hold? This is what goes on EVERY SINGLE DAY at the VA 'hotline'. There are times you cannot get a real person. And if you do, you will be medicated into a zombie, when all you want to do is TALK to someone and have them LISTEN without judgement and without ADDING TO THE PAIN. And then people say 'support the troops' but don't want to be there for them in reality. or send money long distance but don't want to do anything that involved personal touch..a real friend doesn't care if you are sad or angry or mad or glad..a real friend just loves you and wants you to feel better and is willing to do what it takes..whatever it takes if they know they can help and a friend is in pain because that is just what friends do.

but it's not just Americans. People are too busy looking at the screens to tell each other the truth face to face. And if I tried what would happen? I would be LOCKED UP AND RAPED AGAIN PROBABLY!

a reply to: SensiblyReckless

Oh I forgot to mention, those who are victims of crime and those who were aware of how corrupt society is are considered real people on my eyes.

For victims of crime many of them are less likely to hold superficial values since they experience how harsh society is.

Those who aware of how Western society is corrupt are consider real because they tell the real truth about how Western Society is.

I suppose I should reference what I was referring to when I spoke of the "VA hotline". I have never called there myself, why talk to someone that could have been a telemarketer? Or to someone that just doesn't give a # and is punching a timeclock? or to someone who is going to abuse or overmedicate me (same thing)?

and that's just one aspect of it..what if you are assaulted by a cop? Are you going to trust someone with a badge that knows how to abuse it and does so? I mean, WHO DO YOU TRUST?

A friend is someone you can trust. I am learning more and more that I am friends to more people than ever were friends to me, and am just empty. I have nothing left to give, and am giving up. I hope all the rotten evil buddhists out there are happy that I have finally 'surrendered'.

om Koran is a U.S. Air Force veteran who lost his wife to cancer six months ago. On Saturday he felt suicidal, so he called the James Haley VA Center in Tampa for help, and a recording provided him with a suicide prevention number, WFTS Tampa Bay reports. After he called the number, he was put on hold for 10 minutes, while experiencing an emotional breakdown.

“I was desperately needing someone to talk to,” he told a reporter.

He called back twice and eventually got a counselor who did little to help him. He credits the 60 rescue animals he cares for with giving him the strength to carry on.

Koran’s situation is not unique. A Scripps national investigation recently revealed that calls to the veterans hotline are often overloaded and callers are frequently placed on hold.

www.rawstory.com...

from another source:

A suicidal Air Force veteran says he almost ended his life while on hold with the Veterans Suicide Hotline. The vet says he was considering suicide as he desperately missed his wife who recently passed away from cancer, so he dialed the hotline number. However, all he received was a recorded message. In total, the veteran says he was on hold for 10 minutes on three separate occasions during the call, all of this while he was seriously contemplating killing himself.

According to ABC Action News, Air Force veteran Tom Koran was on the verge of ending his own life when he made a desperate call to the Veterans Crisis Hotline put in place to help veterans with suicidal thoughts. However, when Koran called the number, instead of getting a person that could talk him down from committing the act, he received an audio recording. Koran says he almost went ahead and ended his life as he sat on hold waiting to speak with a hotline worker. In total, Koran says he was placed on hold three separate times for 10 minutes each.

“I had to sit there patiently, in emotional distress, in tears, wanting to give up, desperately needing someone to talk to.”

www.inquisitr.com...

oh wait..this was a thread about superficial friendships..should I stop since I am offtopic?

Oh and I KNOW that if anything ever happens to me that my dogs will be taken care of, simply because more people offered to help them when I was down on my feet or helped me for their sake than ever helped ME.

but hey..I need to learn to help myself, right??????


I'm just another crazy veteran filling up this screen. It's the only place my soul really exists anymore.

a reply to: TwoRavens

Actually you are not. In fact it is related. It shows how society has fallen. Real genuine friendships are so hard to find that many people including veterans ended up committing suicide due to loneliness.

AND NO ONE CARES. GOT IT.

a reply to: TwoRavens

It's the truth. And that angers me. That's why I ended up having a few good friends than many fake friends.

a reply to: TwoRavens

Some people do care. Loneliness is not easy to deal with. I know that some people can feel lonely and frustrated in a room full of people. When someone's problems are so deep and focused on oneself, then the world does seem like a dark uncaring place. Each of us has to live our own life and try to fit into society somehow. We have to stop thinking we are the only ones who are going through something though. There are lots of people out there who are not in your shoes, just as you are not in theirs. Each of us has unique tough experiences, and I would not wish some of mine on my worst enemy. Sometimes we have to ask for help. I don't know if I can be of service to your needs, but my inbox is open, should you ever want to talk.

Yeah I know the feeling as well, if being without friends, and always being around people who are way into themselves and fake as hell when it comes to being friends and being able to trust them. I'm 32 all of my so called friends turn there backs on me, cause they figured that cause I didn't act like them or dress or be tattooed like them I was beneath them, as well as my relatives are superficial my cousins also see me as beneath them. I have been told by one of my cousins that I'm a miserable loser because i don't have friends and that all my other relatives would talk behind my back and make fun of me and say how much of a loser I am, honestly I don't consider them family and wouldn't care if I never see them again, it wouldn't bother me at all. I have decided a few years back that friends to me are worthless and I want nothing to do with them, I'm perfectly fine with being by myself and I still go out and do things I enjoy, I was severely depressed back in high school and I have though about killing myself more than a thousand times, but I decided that I'm gonna pull through and go on with my life, don't need friends or relatives to enjoy life, most so called friends and relatives that are superficial, arrogant fake and hypocritical are not worth being with anyway.

words on a screen are just that. If someone were to come up to me and say they were someone I had talked with online and knew how I felt, and had come from far away to be with me, I would welcome it. On the other hand, if someone was just #ing with me online and was right next door, or in the apartment upstairs, for instance, I would definitely be pissed off as hell if they knew how much pain I had been in the whole time for days on end, and said nothing. It would have to come from far away at this point, because anyone close by that sees it and knows about it and lets it go on and STILL does nothing...well that is the sickest thing of all. And also it would be hard to maintain any kind of equilibrium if one also reaches out for help online only to discover someone cyberstalking them. In that situation, isn't it hard to tell your friends from your enemies, to know who to trust? I say if someone isn't honest with you, they aren't your friend at all.

I can help myself to the point that I am not nor will I EVER be interested in a friendship from someone so wrong as that. I still deal with guilt on a daily basis that I didn't run downstairs to borrow my neighbor's phone when I heard a friend's voice on the radio saying how suicidal he was, and should have told him my feelings a long time ago. We could made it, I think. We both saw the world the same way. But I didn't get out there fast enough to warn him, and I didn't call him, and now he's dead..but that's what was 'supposed to happen' , right?

no one to blame. just some poor guy got too 'weak'. He was my friend and I was his and I miss him and I don't think ANYONE will ever understand me the way he did. The world was too good for him. His name was Michael C. Ruppert.
The government killed him because he told the truth, and I am just sick of living in this world and being told I'm selfish and need to 'deal with it'.

but here I am.

and yeah..I used to know what it was like to give..to look at the world and see beauty..but I can't see anything anymore, not really..just an ache in my heart.

and I know what willhappen too. I poured out my heart and soul and will definitely be censored for it. Because there is no good in the world, and all the people who hurt me keep telling me it's my fault and it isn't.

originally posted by: starwarsisreal
a reply to: TwoRavens

It's the truth. And that angers me. That's why I ended up having a few good friends than many fake friends.

well that makes you. I'm so happy for you. I have people online. THAT'S IT.

Pah Shah!

I have hundreds of friends! Just look at my facebook page, it says so!

The Electric Priest

a reply to: TheElectricPriest
Lol

a reply to: TwoRavens

I don't know you and I live thousands of miles away in a different country, but I care. I feel you man. Hang in there. We all go through this crap, it's part of the human experience.

originally posted by: starwarsisreal
a reply to: SensiblyReckless

Oh I forgot to mention, those who are victims of crime and those who were aware of how corrupt society is are considered real people on my eyes.

For victims of crime many of them are less likely to hold superficial values since they experience how harsh society is.

Those who aware of how Western society is corrupt are consider real because they tell the real truth about how Western Society is.

Don't know who you are or where you live, happy to hear someone has found the perfect life. Why don't you tell us where you live so we can all go enjoy perfect relationships with our fellow countrymen? So glad you've got it made!

originally posted by: TwoRavens

originally posted by: starwarsisreal
a reply to: TwoRavens

It's the truth. And that angers me. That's why I ended up having a few good friends than many fake friends.

well that makes you. I'm so happy for you. I have people online. THAT'S IT.

TwoRavens, you know that life's circumstances wax and wane. Please don't lose sight of the fact that because this is the situation you have now, doesn't mean it will hold true a year from now, or even a month from now.

Also, some of the greatest support I've received in my life at times has been via online, so don't minimize it so much. Maybe it's not as good as looking into someone's eyes, and having them touch you in a meaningful way, but it's not "nothing", it is 'something', and it can be very helpful.

(I hate you are in a difficult time. Wish I knew what to say or do to make things easier right now.)

I just don't want you to give up.

a reply to: starwarsisreal

When I say I'm a friend....it's for life. Through thick and thin, come hell or high water. Someone would have to turn out to be a really abusive lying manipulator for me to recount on my friendship status with them once I've given myself to alliance.

But yeah, over the years I've met my fair share of people who use me as a stepping stone or just a resource for getting what they want with no benefits whatsoever on my end. I've learned how to be more discretionary when it comes to lifelong alliances because of them, so they did eventually give something back in a way.

a reply to: angeldoll

I did not say life is perfect none is. What I'm saying those who either suffered hardship or is at least aware of what's going on are far more likely to be less superficial than those who aren't.

Plus I live LA and believe it or not it's VERY VERY hard to find real friends.

I really don't mean to bite people's heads off. When I scream it's not directed at any one person..either online or off..but sometimes the scream just has to come out and can't be held back any more.

I have been alone for many years, and for a long time I was okay with that. Raised my kids, they got through college, and was on my own. I will say that being alone IS the worst thing in the world, and when I dared to dream of something better, not only did that dream die, but so did someone I loved very much, and while I tried to pick myself up from that, and have been spending a lot of time remembering things I didn't use to that are pretty traumatic, I am also having a very difficult time dealing with an online cyber stalker, and while given today's online world faces are not seen, I can and do recognize syntax and m.o. , and even 'voice'. Be that as it may, there isn't really much of anything that can be done about it, and I know that too and am having a hard time dealing with it.

I hate being a ball of selfish nerves, and I know how I must sometimes come off as seriously disturbed, and that's because I am, but it is no mark of sanity to be well adjusted to a sick society, as someone once said. I am just crying out my pain online because it's the only place I can express it.

and it's hard for me to keep it together right now, but the "help" would be worse, and I know that too, so am just going to work with what options are left open to me at this point.