posted on Jul, 31 2014 @ 11:56 AM
originally posted by: Aural
You dont sound emotionless. Even autistic people and sociopaths have emotions. You simply have a supressive defense system. You dont express your
feelings because you can not handle them. Might want to talk things over with someone close as you not expressing your emotions it can build up on
Just a fyi, autistic people actually have an overload of emotion and actually an extreme internalized
empathy. For instance, a kid could be
getting scolded for bad behavior near an autistic and the autistic will feel like they are being scolded right along with that kid. Kind of a hive
mind thing really. Just wanted to chime that in since sticking us next to a sociopath who doesn't care about anybody is kind of ehhhh.... However,
it's how we express, which I think may have been your point, that is different. Depending on where they are at on the spectrum, they might shut down
(seem cold) or throw a tantrum or rock because they're being driven nuts by the overload. I'm typically the "shut down" type but I'll rock if
I'm deeply upset.
To Muse7: If you're wondering if you are somehow without empathy or feeling, then I'd like to point out that you felt bad that you weren't
expressing any emotion. That right there rules out that there is something wrong with you in terms of empathy. If you had none, you wouldn't have
felt bad. Like others have already said, everyone expresses grief in different ways and sometimes, may not grieve at all. When one of my
grandfathers died from ephysema years ago, I was at his hospital bedside every day, talking with him about death for hours as nobody else would and he
wanted to talk about it. I didn't cry once the whole time and he never doubted for one second how much I loved him the entire time. In his view, I
loved him so much that I was thinking only of helping him pass in peace over my only feelings about his departure and he thanked me every day for it.
I saw his passing as being him finally free from the pain, suffering and confinement that emphysema had gripped him with for the prior two years of
his life. To feel grief at his passing was the epitome of selfishness in my book.
As a fellow HFA autistic, sometimes we just go numb and it can be a profound numb. I've never felt a lack of concern but I know that my concern does
get affected by extenuating events. Like your cousin on the motorcycle--I've found that I'm a lot less sympathetic for someone whose been severely
injured because of a dumb choice they made because, well, that was the choice they made. I guess I'm a little Darwinist in that sense. If a
relation died in a car wreck because they were drinking and driving, would I be concerned? No, because they should've never stepped behind the
wheel. I'd feel more sympathy for any who were harmed because of that relation's poor and selfish choice. That's just how I am and maybe it's
not so much Darwinist but justice oriented. May seem cold to some but if one has possibly just one life to live and they squander it with
recklessness, then whose fault is that? Life is precious and should be treated as such.
Anyways, as that fellow HFA, that's the range I go through--super numb or nothing at all depending on the circumstance. There's also a sense of
futility as well, I'd say. How one feels isn't going to change the outcome when death comes knocking. It's not a lack of love really as I bet you
miss your grandmother sometimes just as much as I miss my grandfather from time to time. I'll never forget him and even though he's been gone for
16 years, I still think about him warmly quite often.