Ladies Don't Fart!

reply to post by HomerinNC


ugh... my world is collapsing around me...

reply to post by Akragon


The first video is okay, but I think im gonna get dinged for the second one, i think im gonna take it down...

HomerinNC
reply to post by Akragon

 

omg.
Those videos. All of them. They're lies. Just lies. It wasn't us.
It's a conspiracy.

Hahahahahahaha! Just the other day I was out shopping and really had to fart. I found and isle that no one was in and let loose and quickly proceeded to the next isle to get away before getting caught. OMG I could still smell it so hurried up to yet another isle. Hahahaha I couldn't get away from myself. That's what you get when you eat beans!

To add...

Women don't poop either

reply to post by HardCorps


I was told once by a gay guy that he never farts, he poofs! I didn't know if that was his polite way of saying he farted, or if that was the sound it made when it came out of him.

reply to post by rjbaggins


"passing" of gas is farting, so yes, he farted. He knows he did so, yeah

ETA: you're not funny

Ladies should not, nor should gentlemen. Get up and use the bathroom. Where has the consideration for others gone? Its a natter of being couth .

reply to post by HomerinNC


Some wet ones there!

reply to post by StarlightNine


Ladies do not fart. It is a lie from the government. Obama started it in Africa or Hawaii wherever the heck he was born. Lies i tell ya!

When this incident occurs in my house I just look at my husband like he is crazy and say "I have no idea what you are talking about. "

reply to post by Night Star


This post reminded me of something my husband did to me. We were at Walmart in the garden center and I was shopping for christmas supplies. He walks up to me, asks a question about some things we needed, and apparently farted. My 6 yr old sons says VERY loudly "gosh mommy, couldn't you hold it? That really stinks!" The old man a few feet down the isle wasn't pleased with the smell and huffed at me as he passed. I was mortified!

blivey
reply to post by Night Star

 

This post reminded me of something my husband did to me. We were at Walmart in the garden center and I was shopping for christmas supplies. He walks up to me, asks a question about some things we needed, and apparently farted. My 6 yr old sons says VERY loudly "gosh mommy, couldn't you hold it? That really stinks!" The old man a few feet down the isle wasn't pleased with the smell and huffed at me as he passed. I was mortified!

LMAO, I'd get my son to do that to his mom for me all the time!!!
The other thing I taught him was to walk up to mom, lean on her, cut one and run off!!!

Night Star
Hahahahahahaha! Just the other day I was out shopping and really had to fart. I found and isle that no one was in and let loose and quickly proceeded to the next isle to get away before getting caught. OMG I could still smell it so hurried up to yet another isle. Hahahaha I couldn't get away from myself. That's what you get when you eat beans!

I remember living in florida, was in a Big Dogs store, was with my gf @ the time, had to fart real bad, went to the back of the store, cut one and walked out, the aroma TRAILED after me LOL
Needless to say, she was mortified LOL

Not to 'TOOT' my own horn but
judging by the replies I can really feel the love---

Still I don't get it... Farts happen what's the big deal ladies?
Unless said fart, has a surprise lump in it... now that would be embarrassing...

HardCorps
Not to 'TOOT' my own horn but
judging by the replies I can really feel the love---

Still I don't get it... Farts happen what's the big deal ladies?
Unless said fart, has a surprise lump in it... now that would be embarrassing...

Dude, you KNEW this was gonna start going downhill the moment you WROTE IT!!!!

Heck yeah they do. And they can have some nasty-a$$ed smelly ones too, I'll tell you what.

Ladies and gentlemen, do, of a time, break wind.

When in need, they most assuredly do NOT:

-lift a leg to accentuate the timbre, volume or pitch

-Ensnare others into listening for the incipient breakage by saying, "ssshh, SHHH! Do you hear something?...."

-Dupe their companions into being olfactorially assaulted by gravely intoning, "what IS that gawdawful smell?" just as they are about to poot.

-under any circumstances call attention to a companion's temporary loss of decorum, knowing that "the smeller's the feller."


A gentleman will always help a lady by finding a plausible explanation:

- "These chairs certainly do squeak"

- "It's a bit hot/cold in here" (then going to open a door or turn on a fan).

-glaring balefully at any dog, cat or baby in the vicinity.

-getting up to take out the garbage.



The only circumstance a gentleman would ever acknowledge that a lady has broken wind, is when he finds himself in the happy circumstance of being himself distended by gas as well. IF he can do so within five seconds of her eruction, he may, if he so chooses, tweet a refrain or a coda; but he must immediately thereupon state, "me neither," and go back to doing whatever had occupied his attention before the interlude occurred.

reply to post by HardCorps


for an anecdote that's supposed to be funny, the hiroshima reference is in bad taste..

just saying..

tovenar
Ladies and gentlemen, do, of a time, break wind.


A gentleman will always help a lady by finding a plausible explanation:

- "These chairs certainly do squeak"

- "It's a bit hot/cold in here" (then going to open a door or turn on a fan).

-glaring balefully at any dog, cat or baby in the vicinity.

-getting up to take out the garbage.

That's my husband, the true gentleman... but he is a bit hickish therefore he does occasionally make the "there are some angry critters here!" comment.

Men, take note of the quoted post, in order to learn what gentleman do in such dire circumstance...