People looking for fights

It is a true shame that such small events can sometimes ruin a whole evening isn't it?

I had a truly fantastic night tonight. Surrounded by dear friends and dear beers

I get on the bus with my friends and upon leaving the bus we part ways. My place is literally 5 minutes away from the bus stop and within those 5 minutes some guy just completely ruined my good mood.

I see a guy walking towards me with 2 girls and unfortunately I was smoking, which apparently means FREE TOBACCO FOR EVERYONE. I hear him shouting down the road towards me and this is how it went:

Guy: OI OI BRUV (running towards me)
Me: I am not your brother.
Guy: Alright alright I just asked you a question (still being aggressive)
Me: You didn't ask me a question. You called me bruv and you supposedly asked me a question, which you didn't. (and I walked right past him. Trying to convey to him how I felt by being addressed as a BRUV.)
Guy: **** Calm down I just wanted a fag (cigarette) off ya mate.
Me: Sorry but if you want to smoke then go buy some cigarettes.
Guy: *********** (all profanity surprise surprise)

He followed me for a bit trying to be a smartass, insulting my mother (Come on... I thought we left that one behind when we all turned 7) and ended up giving me a pathetic attempt of a push.

I'm not sure whether this 'phenomenon' pertains solely to Britain or whether this is the case in other countries too but so many people feel ENTITLED to tobacco/cigarettes. No one has ever come up to me and said 'Ohh could I have one of those loafs in your shopping bag??'. I get asked for a cigarette several times a day, if you can't afford it THEN DON'T SMOKE. There are some exception but you can just tell when someone ALWAYS gets cigarettes off someone else or whether they buy their own and it just happens they actually ran out. Politeness goes a long way though, especially with the prices for cigarettes here (UK).

I laughed at him, told him to grow up and walked home. Making sure he wasn't following me to try and find out where I live or something, you never know.

The last physical confrontation I had was when I was 8 or 9, a good 16 years ago. I despise fighting, especially physical fighting and have always managed to diffuse a situation before it escalated (not that that happens often with me anyways...) But this guy was pushing just the right buttons.

My blood was way past boiling point. All I could think of was turning around and teaching that guy a lesson. With my fist. Something told me not to, and that something was pity. What a complete arse-hat.

I don't know whether I was being over sensitive, I've had a few beers after all, or whether this guys was just scum.

In hindsight I'm glad that I managed to keep my fists to myself and the guy hopefully feels superior enough to be that rude again to someone who WILL turn around and teach him a lesson. That's where I hope Karma kicks in!

Anyways enough drunken ramblings. He ruffled my feathers and I came here to moan about.

If some parts don't make sense my excuse is: 4 AM, English isn't my first language and the beers did their job!

Peace (For now!)

reply to post by Swizzy


Oh, how fun. I've been in situations like that. I tell you, it gets harder and harder to keep the anger sealed up inside of me when people push my buttons like that.

Cudos to you for handling it so well.

Idk, It seemed like you came off as a bit of a... a... male phallus, I guess? Idk. Like all he wanted was a cig and you "kindly" told him to "eff off". I mean, if I was drunk I would've been pissed too

reply to post by mr10k


I know in hindsight maybe I was passive aggressive but it was past 3:30AM, and just the way he came running up shouting stuff like he was my best friend. I just know that's the 'brown-nose' intro which is always followed with 'do you have x'. Maybe it's rare nowadays that kids get brought up with 'Excuse me, could you x, please' I mean a minimal sense of manners. Being overly familiar with strangers never comes off well in my eyes.

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


I know it gets difficult like that. All I think of is 'You're Swiss, you're neutral, no need to fight'. It wasn't a good enough reason at all to really lose my temper.

Sorry, but as I read the dialogue between you two, I couldn't help but feel that you were the one that brought the mood down.

Sure, you may be offended by someone calling you "brother" when they're not, but if you were truly in a good mood, you wouldn't make some trivial matter like that ruin an entire night! I'm sure that you are mature enough to know how to brush things off.

reply to post by TravisBickle451


I just replied to him in the manner that I felt he addressed me. I don't like adults gathering around me like children around a candy shop because I have cigarettes and they feel entitled to it.

Ultimately he was the first to start slinging insults and getting physical, not me.

At the same time, even if he interpreted my initial response as passive aggressive or cold, isn't that even more of a reason to let it go and deal with life without a cigarette for a bit? I know when to stop talking to someone if I feel like they don't want to engage...

Originally posted by Swizzy
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

 

I know it gets difficult like that. All I think of is 'You're Swiss, you're neutral, no need to fight'. It wasn't a good enough reason at all to really lose my temper.

A pushy, self entitled arsewipe, did everything but physically assault you, for something he should have bought for himself. You did well in how you handled the situation.....hats off to you....

des

I just don't know when the 'Hello, good evening' got lost between me learning English 17 years ago and now... I just don't think OI OI will get you very far...

Wow, seriously?

Everyone's acting like the drunk guy was in the right?

I understand, OP. Rude idiots aren't worth my time either.

Well, I feel you have yet to realize and learn that not everyone will live to your standards. Evidently, you want people to behave as you do when you fail to see that even you are not perfect and perhaps below the standards of others.

Bottomline is you could probably benefit from some anger management of sorts to help you deal with situations like the one you described. Not to say you should suppress the anger you felt when this event took place, but to understand ways to just let things like this not get to you so easily.

LOL, how about you give them that fight? If someone's looking for it, happily beat the crap out of that person. Also, you couldn't spare one cigarette?

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
Wow, seriously?

Everyone's acting like the drunk guy was in the right?

I understand, OP. Rude idiots aren't worth my time either.

No I don't feel the drunk guy was in the right. I just feel the OP came off as cold. I mean if someone came up to me saying "Oi bruv, go' a cig?", I'd kindly give him a cig. I mean he only wants one, and I won't be seeing him for the rest of the night, I've had a good time up until then, and he probably has too.

The way the OP handled this was the same way teens do with gum. "Hey bro, got some gum". Guy has gum and still says no. For whatever reason, who knows.

reply to post by TravisBickle451


To that first paragraph I can agree but to that second part I have to respectfully disagree. I have received treatment in my teens for PTSD, insomnia and anxiety (insomnia still lingers now and then) but an anger issue has never been suggested to me by anyone, be it expert, friend or family.

If anything you could condemn me for being naive to expect people have a basic amount of decency. If people said hello, goodbye and thank you more often the world would be a better place but I guess that's just wishful thinking...

Originally posted by TravisBickle451
Well, I feel you have yet to realize and learn that not everyone will live to your standards. Evidently, you want people to behave as you do when you fail to see that even you are not perfect and perhaps below the standards of others.

Bottomline is you could probably benefit from some anger management of sorts to help you deal with situations like the one you described. Not to say you should suppress the anger you felt when this event took place, but to understand ways to just let things like this not get to you so easily.

Um... speaking from experience, I can understand the anger.

I grew up around a LOT of people like that. Sure, none of us are perfect, but people like that are a special kind of imperfect. They live to provoke.

I think it would be weirder if it didn't anger the OP.

Originally posted by PsychoReaper4
LOL, how about you give them that fight? If someone's looking for it, happily beat the crap out of that person. Also, you couldn't spare one cigarette?

Pretty much this. It was just one cigarette. Not like he asked for 5 bucks to buy himself some condoms

reply to post by mr10k


Because up to now I've always given, no matter how rude, just to stop them pestering me. It's exactly as I feared, I say no once and I get condemned for it...

Originally posted by mr10k

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
Wow, seriously?

Everyone's acting like the drunk guy was in the right?

I understand, OP. Rude idiots aren't worth my time either.

No I don't feel the drunk guy was in the right. I just feel the OP came off as cold. I mean if someone came up to me saying "Oi bruv, go' a cig?", I'd kindly give him a cig. I mean he only wants one, and I won't be seeing him for the rest of the night, I've had a good time up until then, and he probably has too.

The way the OP handled this was the same way teens do with gum. "Hey bro, got some gum". Guy has gum and still says no. For whatever reason, who knows.

I feel ya. True, he did come off cold.

But for a good reason.

People like that love to provoke, and some of us want nothing to do with them. So, when they force themselves on us, we give them the cold shoulder and walk away, until they're out of our lives.

Trust me. When you're around those types of people, you'll get sick of em too.

Real fast.

reply to post by PsychoReaper4


A cigarette comes close to 30pence if not more nowadays. Smoking is expensive, I know because I BUY them. If I gave everyone a cigarette that asked for one where would mine be? It's got to stop somewhere...

Originally posted by Swizzy
reply to post by TravisBickle451

 

To that first paragraph I can agree but to that second part I have to respectfully disagree. I have received treatment in my teens for PTSD, insomnia and anxiety (insomnia still lingers now and then) but an anger issue has never been suggested to me by anyone, be it expert, friend or family.

If anything you could condemn me for being naive to expect people have a basic amount of decency. If people said hello, goodbye and thank you more often the world would be a better place but I guess that's just wishful thinking...

AGH!

You have no IDEA how much I agree with you!

I have friends who call each other horrible degrading names as common greetings, and they grope each other for no reason. Those are the kinds of people I'm surrounded by.

I wish for decency too...