Hi I'm Bi-polar, do you have any questions?

reply to post by michael1983l

Michael,
My teenage daughter is going through almost exactly what is discribed on this thread. I have spent thousands of dollars getting help for her, only to feel abandoned by the behavioral health system. They tell me, "We can only diagnose her with a 'mood disorder NOS (Not Otherwise Specified)'' because she's only 16. They don't like labeling teens with Bi-polar disorder. Life is hell so far, and we still have not dialed in the right combination of meds and therapy. In my heart of hearts, I know she has bi-polar disorder (rapid-cycling). When she is up, she is very impulsive and is basically out of control (drugs, running away, ect.) When she is down, she gets depressed only to snap and get into a rage, tries self harm. There is a brief point when she is fine and is very nice to be around. She complians about the meds not making her feel like herself. I feel like I don't know who I will get from day to day, Jeckel or Hyde. I see we have a long road ahead of us, but we'll carry on. Thank you for your thread, I've read a lot of good information and have a better understanding.

Meh, bi-polar is not one disorder. It's an umbrella label of a cluster of symptoms.

I guess my first question is: do you know which form of bipolar you have

Second question, do you think you were born this way? Maybe it came about in waves, and now is full blown? Maybe one particular life event triggered it off?

I seem to have symptoms which indicate something along the lines of having what's called "cyclothymia"

It's basically bipolar 3, and it's mildest form. I find it to be quite a fun roller-coaster, actually.

As I age, my brain matures, and I find out what my triggers are for a manic or depressive episode.

I can't speak for you, but know that food sensitivities can cause an episode for me. You might do well to try an elimination diet.

Ah, last question for you..how old are you? It seems some/most people with these "disorders" level out as they approach middle age. I just hit 30, and seem to be passed the worst of this "illness".



Arg, I read the first page, and realized you already answered which form: type 1.

I can say that your view of yourself is likely imposed by societies expectations, and therapy. Our rulers are ENTJ's, mostly. They like "objective thinking", or the cognitive function Te...from an MBTI perspective. So society must follow these styles of thinking, else it must be corrected.

Basically what's happening with you, is you feel trapped because your predisposed psychological makeup is sufficiently different than that which the rulers impose on our social reality. That's why you have episodes of neurosis...mania...and make bad decisions...because you feel invalidated for being as you are.

If I had to take a stab at it, I'd say INFP, but not sure. Tons of INFP's are doped up, and sent to "corrective thinking" classes, and therapists, et al. . .

Do you blame all your social faux pas' and problems in life on it?

because im sick of self diagnosing bi-polar people who need a crutch.

reply to post by Bisman


He's been in the system at least two years receiving medicine, and has been officially diagnosed for the last 9 months.

Your reading comprehension skills need some work.

well that answers 1 of 2 of my questions, and still misses the point of my post entirely.

Originally posted by michael1983l
As the title says I am Bi-polar and I was wondering if any of you had any genuine questions relating to my condition that you would like to ask, you know the kind of things you don't find the answer to in the medical journals.

Fire away.

Yes i do..
No i dont
Nvm
Sums it up doesnt it

Originally posted by Bisman
Do you blame all your social faux pas' and problems in life on it?

because im sick of self diagnosing bi-polar people who need a crutch.

The point is you're either a troll, or a foolish jerk.

You said you're sick of self diagnosing bi-polar people...he didn't self diagnose...point negated.

Then you say, "who need a crutch".

Are you referring to medication? Therapy? Sympathy from this community?

Be specific!

If it's the latter, then that's incorrect. He wanted to help out. That's a very healthy thing for someone is his frame of mind to do. Reach out to a community to enlighten them...it helps him transcend the condition by realizing how far he's come, and that he can effectively contribute.

Is it that he seeks therapy? Well that would be your opinion. I think it has some validity for certain people.

Is it that he's on medication? The same... it would be your opinion that he doesn't need it, and it seems to help some people cope with the worst of their episodes.

Show some compassion! He's a human being and deserves decency and respect.

If you choose to give yet another non-specific response, I will take it you forfeit a reasonable discussion, and are just trolling.

because bi polar disorder is down there with ADD/ADHD.
ridiculous excuses to sell drugs to people, people without basic self control. or dont want basic self control.

its another big-pharma scam. cant sell drugs for something unless its a disease. so lets take every common ailment in human existence and tell people they cant live without meds.

reply to post by Bisman


While I agree that certain "disorders" are over-diagnosed for the purpose of selling drugs, or gaining clientele, that does not negate the fact that certain psychological deviations exist which are sufficiently outside the accepted "norm".

Depending on a variety of factors, such individuals may truly be unable to help their selves without support from the system. I'm of the opinion that this tends to happen when the community fails to provide decency and respect for said individuals, on a regular basis.

It's quite unfortunate.

i mean no offense to the OP. i dont know his specific issues.

but as a general rule when i hear bi-polar its one of those things i always roll my eyes at.

reply to post by jheherrin


It never fails that you cant have a discussion about mental illnes without someone mentioning this holistic retro hippy Tom Cruise BS.

Just like you can't cure cancer with goldenrod or st. johns wort, you can't treat a serious mental illness with a healhy diet.

reply to post by michael1983l


That is a hallmark symptom that you have bipolar. Psychiatrists should never give a bipolar an AD first, there should always be a mood stabilizer, then add an AD slowly.

Some shrinks even use it as a diagnostic tool, they put someone on AD and if they go nuts, they know it is bipolar.

reply to post by nixie_nox


Unless, of course, a serious mental illness happened to be the result of a serious food allergy!

If you honestly don't think this is possible, you're just igno rant.

Originally posted by grandmakdw
Someone earlier asked what it is like for the family of an unmedicated bi-polar.

Well, the highs start with rising early and full of energy for the person with bi-polar. They become quite sociable and get lots of stuff done. At the beginning of the manic cycle, I'd wake up to a clean garage or pantry, thank the person, only to be screamed at "now keep it that way." As the manic cycle increased productivity at work increased and proposals made for grand projects. The bi-polar would become endeared by the boss, especially as work went from early AM to late PM with a cheerful attitude at work. At home, life became hell. The screaming and rages would begin. One never knew what would set a rage off, it could be as simple as saying "oh your home late" when arriving home at 9 or 10 PM, and then the response might be a screaming tirade on how hard they work and how they are underappreciated and how you and the kids are just leeches. The kids became upset, because the manic would want to play but become enraged at the slightest childish thing the kids did. When confronted, the bipolar would say, I don't know what you are talking about I'm in a great mood, its you guys screwing everything up.
Work got the cheerful and upbeat manic side, home got the manic beast because they can't unload on the boss or co-workers. The non-manic spouse gets called lazy for going to bed so early and getting up so late, when in reality it is the manic who is going to bed at midnight and getting up at 3AM. And the manic screams and rages, then forgets how much the spouse is hurt and doesn't even realize they were screaming and raging (they don't even see it in themselves) and demands sex and pouts that they aren't loved and how the partner isn't sexually up to it anymore.

Then come the even times, the normal times, I'd pray for those times and yet be on edge because I never knew what was coming next. The bipolar doesn't go up then down then up. The bipolar can go up, come to normal, and go back up or vice versa. There isn't a true pattern to predict what was next. The stress was enormous waiting to see who I'd be married to the next day.

Then the depressive times, At the beginning and end of the depressive times, my bipolar was sweet, easy to get along with at home, the kids and I loved being around. It was the beginning and end of the depressive times that made it worth staying together. I guess I was kinda in the classic cycle of "violence" even though there was just emotional violence rather than physical.
Work couldn't really tell a difference, but the beginning/ending depressive would go to work at regular times, come home at regular times and sleep at regular times. The boss would say guess you are just worn out from all your hard work. Then would come the sobbing, crying, pleading baby stage. My depressive would actually get physically ill and call in sick, with all the productivity during the high times, there would just be sympathy and hope you are well soon from the boss. Life would be couch, tv, life isn't worth living, no getting dressed, and constant pleading for forgiveness for the rages in the manic phase. The worst would be having to carry out the grand plans made during the manic phase when the depressive could barely move.
How no one at work ever caught on is beyond me. The bosses always loved him.

Finally at retirement there was an acceptance of the need for medication and now we are living a normal life. There are complaints about how the medication makes the bipolar feel, but I feel I deserve a normal and placid life after putting up with all I did for all those years, and making excuses for the bipolar and helping the bipolar hide it from work. Our marriage is now fantastic and I'm glad I stuck with it. The kids turned out ok.

Wow, I am getting quite a lesson today on the point of view of the observers of the bi-polar person. A lot of this rings true, although I only ever once called in to work due to my disorder, and actually, that one time I was going through a divorce and it was during a major down time.

But so much of what you described, I can relate to. The manic times result in a lot of productivity, I have been recognized at work for such "above and beyond" behavior, and when I was young, I thought I had a special sense of "initiative" that my co-workers lacked. I used to feel so proud of myself for that, but now I actually don't like it because when we do that we just make it that much harder to achieve satisfactory productivity during "normal" and "down" times. I can also relate to your experiences with your family not knowing who to expect when you come home. I have never had the rages that people are talking about, but I used to really work hard to make sure I did not break any promises to my kids, due to my moods. Continued...

Continued...

I grew up with a friend whose Dad always promised her and her brothers that they would do special things on the weekend, and then he would use any excuse to break the promise and blame it on the kids! I swore I would never do that... So when I was raising my own kids, I was very cognizant of trying to be sure that if I said we were going to do something special, we always did it.

I think my kids have probably both benefitted and suffered from my disorder. On the one hand, I am the parent who will sit outside in the pouring rain with you, jumping in puddles and pointing out how beautiful it is. I have always told my kids I believe they can achieve anything they truly put their minds to. I have never missed a special event or occasion with my children. I have traveled with them, taken them to museums, art galleries, mine tours, hikes, and so on... Then again, my kids also know, I get manic and sometimes depressed, and if people get in the way, there are clashes.

I hope I have not caused my kids and my family as much trouble as I am reading about in this thread. I love my children so much. In the book "Running with Scissors", the author said that his Mom smelled different when she was going into a psychotic state. That rang true to me, and I wonder what others think about that, although I have not been in such a severe situation, to the best of my knowledge.

I would like to hear more from the families. Are you all caused so much pain as relayed so far on this thread? Do you perceive any good from being involved with a bi-polar person?

Thanks,
Gwynnhwyfar

That saddens me. While I believe in the genetic link for manic depression, I have discovered that a healthy lifestyle can negate the need for anti-depressants, and that one can, thru lots of work mentally and physically, reach a point of being fairly balanced mentally.

Are you speaking from personal experience or is this conjecture?

Originally posted by Bisman
i mean no offense to the OP. i dont know his specific issues.

but as a general rule when i hear bi-polar its one of those things i always roll my eyes at.

You may roll your eyes, but to people with bipolar and for those who live with them it is very real. Did you read my post on page 3 of what it is like to live with one? If not, read my other 2 posts and you will see it is a very very real disorder. As for overmedicating, most people with bipolar try like we did to self medicate with natural things and becoming aware and "self control". I can tell you for certain that the right medication combination is a God send. It took nearly 2 years to get the combination that worked for my bipolar spouse, but it was worth it.

reply to post by michael1983l

No, no questions, as I know quite well what being a Bi_Polar is like. I am on drugs for many years, but taught my own self how to stretch the cycles out to a much longer time, by aligning myself first with the Moon's 28 day cycle, then with my ruling planet Jupiter.

Listening to the point of view of the observer of an unmedicated bi-polar is an eye opener. I should probably describe for those who don't know, however, what it feels like to be a medicated bi-polar sufferer...

This is my personal experience - others may obviously have quite a different experience.

The most negative side effect, for me, was that as soon as I started taking meds, I got "tracking" or after-effects of light flashes when following cars who turned on their turn signals, even during the day. It was very trippy. I felt anything but normal, and felt like it was iffy whether or not I should be driving on the meds. I actually had a hard time believing that many people feel so much better on meds and feel more "normal" and safer.

I did not feel "better" either immediately, or in the weeks to come. Instead I felt very tired and worn out. It was a struggle to get up and get going every day.

I felt "dumbed down" and struggled to come up with words that are normally on the tip of my tongue. This did not interfere with day-to-day activities, but at work it quickly made me feel I was not bringing my best game. I am an IT professional, I work with computers, both daily operations and programming. I have to be able to think clearly in my job, I cannot just perform my job duties by "rote".

I lost libido and had little interest in sex. I also gained weight. These may have been related.

My husband did not approve of my taking the meds. He did not like my personality when I was on them. Neither did I. This caused conflicts in my relationship as he opposed my taking the meds, while I tried to defend them, because my doctors said it was critical to my well being, even though I didn't feel like they were helping me, at all.

I felt like everything was slowed down and muffled. I felt like I was removed and out-of-sorts, like being sick or very tired. I had been led to believe by the Psychiatrist(s) that taking meds would fix my problems. I thought that meant that I would feel like I felt before I ever realized I had any problems. Not true. At this point I have been out of treatment for a long time, and doing well. I would have to suffer a serious psychotic break to go back.

I feel like I am arguing a losing side, but I will not give up. I have thrived for the past fourteen years without medication. I do, however recognize that my symptoms are less severe than others on this site, and I absolutely recognize that medication works for many people. I am happy for whatever works for people and we are all different. If you have a treatment plan, and it is working for you now, please continue with it!!! Love and hugs to all!

I am just describing my own experience, for the record, not trying to derail or berate anybody who is using medications and they are working for them.

I was wondering if you could tell me how you were as a child/ teenager. Were you defiant? Looking back, what kind of effects did it have on your relationships?