i need help dealing with anger issues

Originally posted by Tayesin
reply to post by lonewolf10

 

All of the symptoms you described are about one thing.. lack of Self-Mastery.

Are you in charge of your Mind ?

Are you master of your own domain?

Sorry - couldn't resist.

reply to post by lonewolf10


Some people think life is about what you experience.....
How much money you have .......
How much love is in your life......
How pleasant or bountiful your life is....

But some people think we are really souls and these are just experiences, and the measure of our true spirit is how we handle these things that happen to us.

Good Luck Brother

Edit- Skip my idea posted below as this post www.abovetopsecret.com... shows that my not-so-bright idea is a no-go. Do NOT USE my test idea.

How about being a test subject for an idea of mine?

I've noticed that people with anger management problems feel really bad about themselves on the inside and hate the heck out of themselves - which they take out on others. If this shoe fits in your case and you want to try an experiment, try this:

Buy a BIG Nerf Bat - ( It's a foam rubber toy actually.)

Now, this should only be done at home as it might provoke undue attention at work or in public.

When you get angry - Bat yourself with the Nerf Bat

Then ask the bat why it hit you.

Then, answer for the bat.

Just duke it out with yourself until you get to the bottom of it.

Then, once you determine the problem - accept it or change it - as those are the only two choices.

Originally posted by DeadSnow
reply to post by gwynnhwyfar

 

Martial arts does help, but only to a certain extent..getting out the anger. After the session when you're heading back home, the anger then turns into depression or an emptiness, then again..maybe that's only in my case. You need to find out what exactly is causing your anger issues and find a solution.

True that. A two pronged approach is necessary - (a) focus and manage the aggression, and (b) determine the source and work through it.

I am just a Mom, I apologize for my analytical tone - it is because I work in computers and I am a very analytical person. My son is an "Aspie" who has also, since childhood, had moderate-to-severe hearing loss, and these drawbacks caused him to have to work through a lot of things. He is an incredible kid and I have watched him work through these same kinds of issues and thrive! So I get excited about the things I have seen work for my own kid.

I think he would also tell you that he also blows off steam playing video games, and also he has spent plenty of time meditating since he was about 10 years old (not tons of time, just would remove himself and sit with his eyes closed and his focus inward. Yes, he did "mudras" with his fingers, prolly from watching lots of Anime shows but whatever works, right?)

reply to post by lonewolf10


G'day Mate

Here is info to fix you up
www.futureofmankind.co.uk...

www.futureofmankind.co.uk...

ca.figu.org...

if you seek you will find

reply to post by lonewolf10


Start eating more potatoes with butter. Kranky means sick in German. Something in your diet needs to be changed, there are many foods that make us less irratable, try seeing how they effect you. try adding some calming foods to your diet. use real butter and a little coconut oil occasionally. Boiled cabbage calms you but sometimes makes you a little dopey. Asparagus has few side effects and makes you calm, having a few chemicals that work well........You only need to eat them a couple times a week to have these things calm you down. Sometimes a multivitamin with minerals can help by restoring mineral balances.

reply to post by Trexter Ziam

I have anger issues and I'm actually quite fond of myself.
I dislike the people who get all upset when I try to smack them.

I have a sign over my desk that I look at every day
"He who angers you conquers you."
Some days I have to look at it two or three times.

Originally posted by lonewolf10
ive always had an anger problem but its getting worse.

imho, it is ESSENTIAL that you get on top of this problem--for your own health and wellfare as well as that of those around you and those on the road near you. Anger turns out to be a major cause of road accidents etc.

One of the best resources is:

www.amazon.com...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348633784&sr=1-1&keywords=the+ang er+workbook#_

i'm angry about things i dont have, work that i dont have, experiences that i haven't had, things that i regret, i'm even angry at people that are happy and think of them as stupid for being so happy.

You might begin by asking yourself quite seriously what your anger has ever gotten you

besides

1. More corrosive cortisol in your blood stream shortening your life?
2. More frayed relationships?
3. More loss of sleep?
4. More indigestion?
5. More avoidance from those you want to be closer to?
6. More bewilderment about useful solutions?
7. More grief and guilt over blown incidents in relationships
8. More depression.

Anger has been called depression turned inwards. If you need therapy for depression--get it from someone skilled in COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY . . . and the recent refinements tailored to depression.

no one wants to be around me, and when they are, they are uncomfortable.

This can get much worse than the dreadful state it already is in. Imagine talking to store clerks when windowshopping just for some human contact.

i'm angry about how people have wronged me and i cant seem to let it go.

Your anger doesn't hurt the folks you refuse to forgive. It only hurts you.

Your unforgiveness is destroying your life, your relationships and your physical health. Not worth it, is it?

Forgiveness does NOT mean the other person was not guilty.
Forgiveness does NOT mean the other person will never have to deal with their stuff. We all reap what we sow.
Forgiveness does NOT mean you have to think the other person is wonderful to be around.

Forgiveness means resigning as detective, prosecuting atny, judge, jury and executioner.
Forgiveness means releasing the other person to fate, to God, to their own reaping what they've sown eventually.

Forgiveness means releasing yourself from being chained to an incident they may no longer even remember.
Forgiveness means releasing yourself from being chained to a puss pocket of stink and pain the size of a giant sinkhole.

Forgiveness means letting go of the past and getting on with your life.

Unforgiveness . . . also . . . promises to keep one out of Heaven . . . we have to forgive to be forgiven.

"Father forgive us our sins AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE SINNED AGAINST US."

Books I believe have merit on forgiveness:

This one is by one of my all time favorite authors and Jason V:

THE SUPERNATURAL POWER OF FORGIVENESS: Discover How to Escape Your Prison of Pain and Unlock a Life of Freedom. Kindle version available

FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE: Step by Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope

www.amazon.com...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348634495&sr=1-1&keywords=forgiveness< br />
FORGIVENESS: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get on With Your LIfe

www.amazon.com...=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348634495&sr=1-3&keywords=forgiveness

i know that we are supposed to focus on the present moment and be greatful for what we have, not what we dont have, but his eludes me.my mind is always running full throttle.
i guess i need to get into meditation or give myself an ice pick lobotomy.

if ya'll can recommend any sites or advise that can help, i would sure appreciate it.

You will likely have to begin to discipline your thinking. And your emotions.

Emotions/feelings are merely information. They can be important information running from a bear. Or destructive information with anger and unforgiveness.

You could begin by ABSOLUTELY REFUSING to think of any of the anger related stuff except for 5 min an hour or 5 min every 30 min . . . then 5 min every 3-4 hours . . . then 5 min every 6-8 hours etc. But you MUST DECIDE that you WANT TO LIVE and live fulfilled and more or less happily vs destroying yourself. You can get better. It takes work.

I think you might do well to get some therapy for your highly likely significant degree of

ATTACHMENT DISORDER. The best book on that is:

ATTACHMENTS: WHY YOU LOVE, FEEL AND ACT THE WAY YOU DO.

I think it's now available on Kindle, too.

www.amazon.com...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348635092&sr=1-1&keywords=attachment+Sibcy+Clinton

reply to post by Trexter Ziam


Some research--a lot over many decades, actually--indicates that hitting things with nerf bats; hitting pillows etc.

merely rehearses the anger, winds it up more.

I no longer suggest such things to people.

It's healthier and more effective to put some calming delay into the picture. Walk around the block. Watch children play; smell the flowers. Empty the trash; clean a closet out; Sing; Write the feelings out and put the letter away for 24-72 hours before doing anything with it. . . . etc.

I get angry because people assume that because I have been unemployed for an extended period that I am lazy and don't know how to look for a job and or I am unwilling to take a more menial job compared to the professional positions I have held in the past. I used to tell them that they don't know me or my history. That I have worked steadily since I was 15 up to 2010. That I worked myself through college. I got tired of arguing with them and now I just tell them it's none of their business. I get angry when I hear politicians and pundits talk about people who need government assistance during these hard times as if they are scum who don't deserve to live.

I also get angry every time I hear about the cops beating someone to death because the person pissed them off or shot them 16 times because they supposedly couldn't tell the difference between a nozzle attachment for a hose in the persons hand and a gun. Or I hear about somebody who spent 20 years in prison for a crime they didn't commit just because the cops and prosecutors were too proud to admit they made a mistake. So the person has to fight tooth and nail to get back what was rightfully theirs to begin with. And when their innocence is finally proven the person gets absolutely no compensation for the time they spent in prison because the courts made, “an honest mistake". It seems that something like this could happen to any of us. I think that by now we should have some idea of how many completely innocent people have been put to death in this country.

All things considered I spend a lot of the day being angry.

Veggies are a lot less aggressive than meaters. Thats why you feed guard dogs lots of meat rather than this veggie dog food stuff. It makes them more agressive which is what you need in a guard dog. Possibly you should try becoming a veggie for a week or two and see if it helps. (shock, horror "A veggie????" Yes, a veggie :-) )

reply to post by lonewolf10


i woul see a therapist to figure out y and what the base of ur anger is rooted

Just Love Live have a Laugh the anger in you is not really you
im sure you dont need a slap in the face to wake up for that fact
only focus on unconditional Love to fill the void in you
its the only power that prevail against hate and anger
wake up the Loving fearless god in you

hope it helped !

reply to post by lonewolf10


If your not happy with your situation your the only one who change it.
Don't gripe on others for your inaction in taking responsibility in forging your own existence.
This busying yourself with other peoples lives and focusing it into anger is another manifestation of your procrastination.
You've got one life sir, I suggest you live it.

Kind words can only go so far but truth is the best answer you can get.
sorry if its not what you wanted to hear.

Originally posted by prevenge

Originally posted by DjembeJedi


I don't think you need any websites Brother..I Had the Same Feelings and Emotions For Years About Friends Family and Society in General Mad at Family for what they "DID" to me . Mad at Friends for Not Helping me Enough! Mad at the World for Being Such a Confusing place to Live...It was always filled with what Everyone Was doing to me What the WORLD was doing to me ...! Through a Few Near "Death" type experiences some MY Doing I can Honestly say most of my anger and Hate was "Self" Directed and Very Eluding..I allowed my Anger to Become Hate and Envelope me I pushed into Drinking Issues and More...The Only way out for me was to Realize the The World Does NOT Hate me ..I am not the only one who has Had Hard times ..I learned to Trust a "Higher" power and Let go of my Control over my own life ...as Soon as that was Implemented "BANG" Huge Change ! ..See Friend I think alot of us are Here for the Only Purpose of Learning to "Let Go" of Control and Learn to Forgive and Love all who we encounter Stepping outside of ourselves to see the Reason for others actions..The moment we Release ourselves from the bondage of Our "Past" and Present Control ..Life Settles and Shows you a "Path"..I say Let Go and Forgive Yourself and Others Brother..Then you can Find "peace" and "Calm"... I hope you Don't take offense to this advice I may Have when I was "Weighted" By problems such as yours..All the Best to you...

edit on 25-9-2012 by DjembeJedi because: mispost

edit on 25-9-2012 by DjembeJedi because: sp

To poster "DjembeJedi"
I'm not trying to be rude, but is the reason that you profusely capitalize the first letter of words that should not be capitalized, the result of a psychiatric disorder?

I've seen other people do it before and I wondered the same thing then. I mean it must block you from all types of employment, members of the opposite sex taking you seriously when communicating with you in writing. It must be very debilitating. I don't understand why you wouldn't correct a habit like that way early on in life. Unless you could not help it, and it was caused by a mental disorder.

To the OP,
I don't think you'll stop being angry until the logic that leads you to that resulting anger is changed.
Change the way you think, the logic that leads you into the emotion. Then you'll see a change.
I'd start with thinking in a less self-centered way. Start thinking about other people's misfortune, instead of your own. Hell, go try to help other people out of their misfortune, as uncomfortable as it may seem to do.

WoW ThAnX FoR PoiNtInG OUT ThAT I NeVER RealiZed it Now I Can Get a MentAl DiaGnosis and FrEE MySelf!! YOUR an awesome person for picking on a typing habit in a thread about anger issues ...TyPiNg Makes YOU AngRy?!? Man you must be awesome to hang with... ('')

Originally posted by prevenge

Originally posted by DjembeJedi


I don't think you need any websites Brother..I Had the Same Feelings and Emotions For Years About Friends Family and Society in General Mad at Family for what they "DID" to me . Mad at Friends for Not Helping me Enough! Mad at the World for Being Such a Confusing place to Live...It was always filled with what Everyone Was doing to me What the WORLD was doing to me ...! Through a Few Near "Death" type experiences some MY Doing I can Honestly say most of my anger and Hate was "Self" Directed and Very Eluding..I allowed my Anger to Become Hate and Envelope me I pushed into Drinking Issues and More...The Only way out for me was to Realize the The World Does NOT Hate me ..I am not the only one who has Had Hard times ..I learned to Trust a "Higher" power and Let go of my Control over my own life ...as Soon as that was Implemented "BANG" Huge Change ! ..See Friend I think alot of us are Here for the Only Purpose of Learning to "Let Go" of Control and Learn to Forgive and Love all who we encounter Stepping outside of ourselves to see the Reason for others actions..The moment we Release ourselves from the bondage of Our "Past" and Present Control ..Life Settles and Shows you a "Path"..I say Let Go and Forgive Yourself and Others Brother..Then you can Find "peace" and "Calm"... I hope you Don't take offense to this advice I may Have when I was "Weighted" By problems such as yours..All the Best to you...

edit on 25-9-2012 by DjembeJedi because: mispost

edit on 25-9-2012 by DjembeJedi because: sp

To poster "DjembeJedi"
I'm not trying to be rude, but is the reason that you profusely capitalize the first letter of words that should not be capitalized, the result of a psychiatric disorder?

I've seen other people do it before and I wondered the same thing then. I mean it must block you from all types of employment, members of the opposite sex taking you seriously when communicating with you in writing. It must be very debilitating. I don't understand why you wouldn't correct a habit like that way early on in life. Unless you could not help it, and it was caused by a mental disorder.

To the OP,
I don't think you'll stop being angry until the logic that leads you to that resulting anger is changed.
Change the way you think, the logic that leads you into the emotion. Then you'll see a change.
I'd start with thinking in a less self-centered way. Start thinking about other people's misfortune, instead of your own. Hell, go try to help other people out of their misfortune, as uncomfortable as it may seem to do.

No hard feelings man...Its just a really bad habit..The capital letter thing...but a mental issue really?
Don't see how that is really an issue , unless English is a second language..? Do you get up set over abbreviations too?....This is a forum of like minded thinkers trying to share information NOT grammar Lessons... Oh and I am happily married going on 8yrs ,gainfully employed and surprisingly enough my grammar was nor is an issue! Weird huh?('') ('')

OP, have you ever had your liver tested?

hepatic encephalopathy (HE)? is a very serious side effect of a liver not functioning right.

Might be worth doing a little research, may be nothing, but never know.

reply to post by severdsoul


Many of the problems with various problems with personality are based on liver or enzyme functions. Foods and herbs/spices can be used to help, medicines are not always needed. Calcification of the liver can cause things to happen also, there are many different functions that the liver controls. It is a very important organ.