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Originally posted by Eirian
reply to post by daynight42
Tell me, along with this feeling of surrealism, have you noticed patterns or things that happen too regularly to be just coincidence?
Originally posted by Dreine
reply to post by KillerQueen
I think perhaps it's just that as I look at the world, and the people in it, I find little that I think is interesting or worth my time.
Not that I think I am 'better' than anything or anyone by any means... more like I just have little interest in it all, that I want the world to be more. More grand. More epic. More something.
Originally posted by daynight42
Today, driving around, I felt that life has taken on such a surreal nature to me. It's as if I am wandering around aimlessly, and that nothing matters. Things happen, but they happen just to happen. I look around me, and it's as if I'm part of a dream that is very life like but that I cannot wake up from. I look around me at people just going about their lives, and I wonder how they do it. They don't seem the least bit bothered by what is going on in the world. It's really as if I'm almost living a completely different life than they are, in another world. Yet, I see them, and they see me. I feel like a foreigner even though I can remember being here for as long as I can remember. This existence has taken an artificial quality. It's like nothing really matters to me, because nothing (important) seems to matter to anyone else, except trivial crap. I feel like I'm paralyzed and can't move, but the people around me are moving and carrying on; they notice me, but nobody notices that I'm not moving. It is a very odd feeling. It's like I do not belong here.
It reminds me of nihilism of some kind. The things that are so important to me and to our advancement as a species are ignored by most people. It's like I realize this now, and I have given up on the world around me. People have traded reality and a quest for progress, for entertainment and shallow pleasantries. It really bothers me, but there's nothing I can do to change the people around me. (I have tried.)
The way that I have found to cope with this is really to isolate myself from most people to keep away from the harsh reality of it all, but I can't do that enough, it seems. I feel wrong, at times to judge others, but I know these same people would judge me in the same way on certain issues if I were to share them. I consider it my responsibility to judge the world, including the people in it, if I am to live here. Maybe that is my purpose, to sort of be the eyes and ears for something bigger that I don't know about. Or, maybe that's what I tell myself to accept the state of my world.
Is this maybe just some kind of growth phase that I'm going through? Has anyone felt the same, and did it pass or did it get better or worse for you? It seems I'm at a very confusing point in life, which is kind of okay if it teaches me something. I realize the people who feel they have the most answers are often the most lost. I'm just looking to see if anyone else has felt similar.
Originally posted by Dreine
reply to post by KillerQueen
Sound advice, I thank you for it.
I know someone mentioned depression above, and I'm fairly certain it isn't that. I think perhaps it's just that as I look at the world, and the people in it, I find little that I think is interesting or worth my time.
Not that I think I am 'better' than anything or anyone by any means... more like I just have little interest in it all, that I want the world to be more. More grand. More epic. More something.
Don't compare this state of being to enlightenment or the awareness experienced outside Plato's cave heh.
Just because we don't participate in the routines of the majority doesn't make us more aware.
I think that most people know perfectly well what is happening to us all, how wrong things are, but they simply choose to fake it. I would never call them 'sheep' -that's the most pathetic word you can use if you are on this quest, in my opinion,
Let's be honest, just because we're wandering confused doesn't make us more in tune with what-is-real. We're just lost for now and that's the scariest thing to me- that I'll experience this state of neither ignorance/nor true awareness for an eternity. What is also frightening is that lack of will to do or be something/anything. Which is better than living a lie..but still.
True awareness is surely different..like a fresh breeze of clear light. Maybe this is some kind of bardo of becoming, but it feels like forever. Anyway my advice is-don't stagnate, realize the meaningfulness of this state of mind but don't let it settle in.
I feel MORE connected now than ever, I feel MORE compassionate, understanding and accepting. I am sensing the interconnectedness of all Life more. It's not a sensation of shutting oneself away from the other world, it's just a feeling of 'stepping outside of it'. (for lack of a better definition)
Being in it, but not "of it" ( or not a "product of it"). Thats wonderful. Make sure you use those feelings of compassion and accepting on others. Thats the gift, now put them to work where you can.