Does life seem surreal to you too?

Originally posted by daynight42
Today, driving around, I felt that life has taken on such a surreal nature to me. It's as if I am wandering around aimlessly, and that nothing matters. Things happen, but they happen just to happen. I look around me, and it's as if I'm part of a dream that is very life like but that I cannot wake up from. I look around me at people just going about their lives, and I wonder how they do it. They don't seem the least bit bothered by what is going on in the world. It's really as if I'm almost living a completely different life than they are, in another world. Yet, I see them, and they see me. I feel like a foreigner even though I can remember being here for as long as I can remember. This existence has taken an artificial quality. It's like nothing really matters to me, because nothing (important) seems to matter to anyone else, except trivial crap. I feel like I'm paralyzed and can't move, but the people around me are moving and carrying on; they notice me, but nobody notices that I'm not moving. It is a very odd feeling. It's like I do not belong here.

It reminds me of nihilism of some kind. The things that are so important to me and to our advancement as a species are ignored by most people. It's like I realize this now, and I have given up on the world around me. People have traded reality and a quest for progress, for entertainment and shallow pleasantries. It really bothers me, but there's nothing I can do to change the people around me. (I have tried.)

The way that I have found to cope with this is really to isolate myself from most people to keep away from the harsh reality of it all, but I can't do that enough, it seems. I feel wrong, at times to judge others, but I know these same people would judge me in the same way on certain issues if I were to share them. I consider it my responsibility to judge the world, including the people in it, if I am to live here. Maybe that is my purpose, to sort of be the eyes and ears for something bigger that I don't know about. Or, maybe that's what I tell myself to accept the state of my world.

Is this maybe just some kind of growth phase that I'm going through? Has anyone felt the same, and did it pass or did it get better or worse for you? It seems I'm at a very confusing point in life, which is kind of okay if it teaches me something. I realize the people who feel they have the most answers are often the most lost. I'm just looking to see if anyone else has felt similar.

I think I get it a bit. Sigh.

Except...

A ) I'm not so sure that what others are doing is as trivial as it appears
a.1) I just know that I disagree often with what they do
a.2) I'm not certain that I'm right about what I think
a.3) I'm young(ish) and even the oldest and smartest person is dwarfed by seven billion ppl
B ) People have traded what I think is progress for what they think is progress
b.1) I don't think that what they do is purely for entertainment or shallow pleasantries
b.2) I think that my version of progress is incompatible somehow
C ) I feel stupid and inferior as a result of my choices and feel imprisoned by my own fears
c.1) I'm this way mostly because of myself, not others
c.2) So I think my difference in opinion is somehow a result of my incompetence
E ) I feel that no matter what happens humanity will survive, just in different ways
e.1) So others not doing what I think should be done is irrelevant
e.2) The world will change in dramatic ways but these ways don't kill us, they change us

Several years ago I got mad because I thought we were ignoring environmental destruction on a planetary scale. Nature was being gutted for a few short-term dollars. I hated myself for being human. I hated humans. I hated us because we destroy nature and replace it with our steel jungles and when we're given the chance to reach the stars and go beyond all this mess we decline because of stupid feelings of attachment and belonging to our current model(s) and method(s) of living.

But then I grew up and realized I was wrong about some things. Yes, we destroy nature, but no, it won't completely destroy other life on the planet and neither will it destroy the planet or humanity (for that matter). Life will go in in a changed way. Our earth may slowly transform into a kind of mothership. We'll control the earth like we control machines - not perfectly but a lot more controlled than presently. Our steel jungles and our old habits and attachments are just part of who we're. Yes, they look ugly from a certain perspective. They look negligent and irresponsible and insensitive and human-centric. But you know what? It hardly matters since we'll survive anyway. The world can't stay as it's. It's going to change and it's going to change in big ways. Unfortunately, there's no easy answer for us. We can't leave earth enmasse and we can't over-regulate ourselves to save the forests and animals and whatnot. We'll just plow through all this full steam headfirst like a stubborn farmer with a one track mind. It'll be hard and bumpy. But we'll be ok. It's not fun for somebody who's an idealist and wants everything to be a certain way. The way we humans live is all over the board. It's not ideal, it's not clean, it's not acceptable, it's ugly and sloppy and intolerable.

Ultimately, I've decided that I don't matter. My disagreement is my own and my failings in life are my own. I take full responsibility. When I die I die. The world will go on without me.

I think every day or so about random people that are dead that I once knew. I remember their voice, their appearance, their mood and other things. It hurts because nothing will bring them back. I wonder about all the things I didn't ask them and whether there's an after-life. I know that I'll die too. And I know that the earth won't stop spinning because I'm dead. I have less name than these people I remember and the world didn't stop spinning because they died. This universe doesn't care. Feeling sorry for yourself or others because they're gone forever just makes your own life harder.

My advice to you (even though I don't follow what I preach):
You need to reduce your expectations of others and increase them of yourself.

At the end of the day, $$$ is what puts food on the table and makes you satisfied, not what -others- do. The politically correct BS is wrong. Simply, humans are greedy because they want a good life. If you don't increase the expectations you have on yourself, you probably won't have much $$$. That means you'll be unhappy. And when you're unhappy you'll focus on all these negative things and all your failings in life and you'll come dangerously close to the cold abyss that's despair and oblivion.

This world is what it's: ugly. LIKE it. Because this is all you get. Sounds hard, right? But you know we've been doing this for a couple million years (human species) and it hasn't stopped us yet.

reply to post by sirric

10 signs of spiritual awakening:

1. Your sleep patterns change. You feel restless but seem to have more energy

Your selfish other half is nudging you awake at night, you snore. Yes you're the one who got a lot of sleep, have you not noticed how bedraggled your other half looks?

2. Activity at the crown of your head, Shivers, crawling sensations, tingles on your scalp, feelings like someone is applying pressure on the top of your head. Flashes of great inspiration creativity and thoughts feeling vibrations around the head and ears. this is the opening of the crown chakra and define energy flowing in

Yes that's your other half slapping you across the face. Just wake me up one more time @itch....

3. Sudden waves of emotion. You feel like crying, lonely, angry, happy for seemingly no reason. This is a release of blocked emotions from the heart chakra.

You're other half has left you, Yippeee better sleeps.

. Old issues keep coming back and at times you feel very lost.

They're still not come back?

5. Your physical body begins to changes. Weight loss and a desire to eat healthy

Okay....you have to learn to cook for yourself.

6. Your senses have increased sensitivity. you may hear your name called more often voices and sounds that you never heard before you may also begin to see sparkles of light, shadows, different types of movements and auras around objects. This is your sixth sense opening up.

No that's just the lack of slaps around your face. Lucky you. At least you don't have flushed cheeks anymore.

7. You begin to view the whole world and all that it supports in a new way, with a new understanding and a new reality that may look fake to you. Keep in the flow. Be compassionate and loving as best you can and don't be hard on yourself when you're having a bad day. Be gentle with yourself as your awareness expands.

Okay, you have to wash your own underpants. You want your other half back.

8. Your intuition becomes heightened, you feel more compassion and loving to all things and you start to feel what truly "is".

You've just decided to buy you're other half a box of chocolates from the local garage.

9. You desire to break free from old habits and restrictive patterns and try new things that you never once tried before

OMG...you're going to say sorry.

10. Synchronicity events flow faster as you are being shown that you're on the right path including number sequences, meetings, pictures and visions start flowing in your direction. These coincidence have great meaning and tie in with your thoughts and speak directly to you on a very profound level only you understand

Okay, you're feeling horny, you've not had it for ages. You REALLY MISS you're other half.

think you are experiencing Number 7.

okay u badboy....., you're now thinking of reality, and are now thinking about the checkout girl who sold you the box of chocolates....


hmmm it called life

reply to post by daynight42


When I was younger, and would partake in more illicit activities, this happened to me a lot. i chalked it, then, up to recently having my perception altered. now, looking back, I see it from a more mystical point of view.

Regardless, i still get those times. There are times that things are so surreal that I feel that i am not really even interacting with reality anymore, but seeing it from above itself. During times like this i feel as if i am having a different perception of everything.

of course, i am a tea totaller now. Careers, kids, and all that jazz. And in reflecting on my life I don't think the substances were so much the cause back then, as they were just a parallel.

Life is certainly surreal especially after you get out of the warm blanket of high school and at home with mammy and pappy.

It gets much worse when you are middle aged and disgruntled that nothing ended up like you dreamed.

It gets slightly better when you are well into retirement and just dont give a damn anymore and are just waiting to die.

been on ats for a while now just a roamer this is my first time posting.

this post means alot to me because i have recently,past year or so had this immense feeling aswell, i look around and see thru most ppl and just dont understand what is driving all this and feel like i dont belong here aswell i am young 21 yrs old and all my crowd of friends pretty much all only party and live the young irresponsible lifestyle and i used to partake in it but it never made me happy and now whenever i have tryed to go out and do this with them i feel like a shell trying to avoid everyone i rarely drink now, recently broke up with my girlfrend because i simply coulndt make her happy anymore, she is quite immature and irresponsible in my sense as she was never open to questioning things in life she was like everyone else, they think u are crazy or just a downer they only care about the material bs were fed and controlled by these days,and its tough because i want to be able to enjoy my life but i dont care about anything anymore i spend most of my time on the laptop i feel the internet is my way to connect to things these days. im told i am an old soul and i feel like i am awake and more mature than others but alot of times it just feels like i dont belong here.

sorry about the rambling like i said first time poster i just really connected with this post bcuz i feel the same way!!

reply to post by daynight42


when a politician name Anthony Weiner gets caught texting pictures of his genitles it sure seems pretty surreal. Stuff like that happens all the time. It's almost as if theres a computer running a simulation and it never understood the nuances of language.

I juat woke up to the most surreal event ever. I woke up to the smell of plastic burning. Was able to shut the idling truck im in down before it burst into flames, my ac compressor locked up.... Sure makes me feel mortal...

Originally posted by seaside sky
I feel the same way too- have been for pretty much my whole life (not to say that I haven't had a lot of fun in the normal world too, though). I used to wonder why I always felt like that (the OP described it so well). I figured I'd find out someday. Now I get it. It was all preparation for this time- right here, right now. .

There are times- rare times- in human history when "the world turns upside down" and fundamental change is not gradual, but sudden. At these times the present world we know takes on the quality of old photographs we find in a box years later. A sort of time slip- like we see the present as if we were remembering it rather than directly experiencing it. Or so it seems to me. Dunno- I could well be wrong, and perhaps this is not at all what the rest of you are describing.

I don't think it's a phase of life you're going through, I think rather it's a transformational era that we're all living in now and only some people can see it.

I have felt this way all of my life as well. I just don't get this phony, selfish existence of society today. It sucks when you must lie and manipulate to get what you think you want. I hate feeling like I'm being mentally and emotionally manipulated everyday for someonelses selfish wants. Especially when I see it as ultratrivial bs. I'm tired of playing the game of life at times. I can't say I've ever been what most people consider good at it. At least I can respect myself most of the time. Most of the time I'd just like to opt out. Thinking about a deserted island in the South Pacific again........

reply to post by daynight42


This is not nihilism, friend. If anything, it is love of life. The people you see are the nihilists. You hate to watch life go to waste right before your eyes.

It appears surreal because we've been taught that man is something more than an animal. Once one realizes the base animalistic tendencies of man, and the lack of will shown by most to control them, the shocking reality is difficult to deal with.

The good thing about this is that you are now viewing mankind from an angle not many are privy to. In my opinion, it's difficult to watch, but very important. To me, it felt like a test—the kind where I was the only judge.

You may become disgusted by what you see and seek seclusion from the rabble. Seclusion is healthy if you can handle being alone; but it can be increasingly dangerous to an individual who still loves life. Some of the most important sustenance—love, companionship, humour and art etc.—is found back in the herd. Without these it may be impossible to live happily in a world where humans are almost everywhere. If we haven't been overcome by depression, we must eventually wade back into the rabble to find the things we love.

At man's core is a choice: either to create or destroy. Find the creators.

Become like the wolf. Don the clothing of a sheep. Go back to the herd and discover other wolves.

reply to post by LesMisanthrope


You have just spoken the struggle of my life (and, i suspect, my youngest sons life too as he is so much like me). I want seclusion to think, to contemplate, and to just "be". But then I realize that no person can exist intelligently without a person to converse with. You need someone to juxtapose your own ideas, to apply context. To use the language of the ancient mystics, you cannot have one without the other, or 1 cannot exist without 2 (the mystical meaning of the whole trinity concept).

So knowing that I need some interaction, I just accept that solitude is not for me. I am far too inquisitive and would end up insane without another person to be a barometer

reply to post by silent thunder


I think you've felt similar to what I did today*.

It's exactly like that. People seem hollow. They don't seem to have identities. It's like if I were to see them saying something, it would be like a movie without sound -- lips would move, expressions and all, but nothing heard. Even though of course, I can hear them. Life seems as predictable as a movie that I'm cast in, with everyone in a role that they live. Then there I am walking around almost wanting to shake people out of their roles, but nobody will listen. It's kind of like being lost in a house of mirrors. Things that look real aren't. They're just reflections of something else.

*(...and may again. I'm not sure if it will come again.)

Originally posted by RealSpoke

Derealization (sometimes abbreviated as DR) is an alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems unreal. Other symptoms include feeling as though one's environment is lacking in spontaneity, emotional coloring and depth.[1] It is a dissociative symptom of many conditions, such as psychiatric and neurological disorders, and not a standalone disorder. It is also a transient side effect of acute drug intoxication, sleep deprivation, and stress.[citation needed]

en.wikipedia.org...

Wow, thanks. I didn't know there was an actual term for it. I'll be sure to look into that some more when I'm done reading the posts here.

Thank you.

reply to post by sirric


Most of those sound like symptoms of depression

reply to post by daynight42


Look at depersonalization too

en.wikipedia.org...
en.wikipedia.org...

I got both of these a lot when I smoked stuff and was depressed a few years ago.

Originally posted by daynight42
reply to post by silent thunder

 

I think you've felt similar to what I did today

Thanks for responding. After reading your response I'm pretty sure we are talking about the same or a very similar phenomenon.

Originally posted by RealSpoke
en.wikipedia.org...

Yes, this fits exactly with what I was trying to express. Thanks from me also.

There is something heartening in the fact that there is a name for this and an awareness of this as a phenonenon.

By the way, I don't consider myself depressed in the slightest. I have a lot of fun with life, most of the time, these days at least. Life wasn't always so cheerful for me, though ,and I associate the worst aspects of this feeling with difficult experiences in my past.

Which would bring us to another interesting point...a lot of people in this thread seem to know what the OP is talking about and had similar feelings...so that bring the question of what we all share, if anything.

Originally posted by KillerQueen
ETA: I wonder if this feeling is a result of a world too slick with marketing, to superficial and too artificially connected? I wonder if this is how the brain processes a media saturated world?

edit on 24-6-2012 by KillerQueen because: (no reason given)

Yes, I think you are right. The same people who are too willing to conform to feel connected in society in their daily social interactions are the same ones who will believe what Bush said regarding 9/11. They consistently are too afraid to step out of the box and risk losing friendships and family ties. Well, something is more important to me than those things, and it's called the truth. I don't know how far or close I am toward finding it (on many issues), but I know I'm closer than I would be if I just agreed with all my family and friends.

I think that is one cost of searching for the truth: it disconnects us from the rest of society. While everyone else gives in to the pressures of the corporations, we continually fight it. It is very depleting on energy to go against the flow and have to use energy to resist trends. The marketers do an amazing job of convincing people to be the same. Look at how many people have an iphone. How can so many thinking people have come to the same conclusion as far as which phone to use? Well, I guess they aren't thinking people. They made an emotionally based purchase.

I think when people do other things too, like watch a movie with friends or family or strangers in a theater, that it causes them to behave like the rest of them. You feel joined to those people by spending time with them. (I very rarely do such things.) I deliberately do not do these things because it bothers me to tune out 'reality.' I do watch movies sometimes, but it's almost always alone where I can have my own personal reactions to the movie in any way I want without any feeling that I'm bothering others or "acting out" of context with how most people would.

Ah, I have felt this way my entire life. As if I had been born into the wrong time or something. I look around and see that this world and the way society is set up, and know that it is all just wrong somehow. We should not be enslaved as a race to other humans...ever. But we have been stuck in this loop of money equals survival and the path to happiness for way too long now. Many people just go through the proverbial motions because they have no choice and see no way out of our current predicament. Everyone dies eventually so what is the point? Well, I believe that we are here for the sole reason to make memories. The planet can live and thrive without humans, we are not here to take care of it.

But I believe that what the OP is describing is what many, many humans throughout history have described...it is the crux of human existence...the why of it all. Why all yhe pain, suffering, hunger, unhappiness, wars and bloodshed? Why can we not have a system that helps all of us to thrive, be healthy, and be happy? Surely at some point in the future we might all wake up and realize just how messed up it all is and figure out a way to make this particular journey through this reality and experience as wonderful and beautiful as we all know it can be.The first step is to realize that all monetary systems must be done away with forever. Banish these archaic systems from every walk of life....and realize that you cannot take it with you. That my friends is step one....because the only thing in this life that has real value is not gold, pieces of paper or material objects, but it is the memories that you make while you are existing here.

reply to post by AutOmatIc


Your experience of this feeling is far more conceptually oriented than mine. I get it in a more perceptual way...that is, its not so much people's roles in society that make me feel this way, its kind of like the texture of the fabric of reality itself.

When I feel this way, it doesn't matter what I'm doing, it seems like everything from buildings to people are just teetering on the edge of unreality. For some reason I associate it with cities and urban spaces. It's as if suddenly the city will seem much smaller than it is and every building will seem like a shrunken and distorted copy of iteslf. People, too. And so yes, this means pople's roles in society is a part of the experience, as you describe. That's one of the facades that's being perceived as empty, transient, or unreal.

Originally posted by sirric
10 signs of spiritual awakening:

I think you are experiencing Number 7.

I hope this helps you understand why you are feeling this way.

Some of those definitely ring true, and some of them are definitely not (but have been true at other points).

Interesting, thanks.

reply to post by silent thunder


That's what I was going to say. De-realization is a specific sensation, not an outlook on life.