Can you help a Lady with: Some Insight on 'Christian' behavior...

♥ To all who enter here! ♥

My friends. Please participate. This is very important to me. I'm going to post a replica of a conversation I had with a man who claims to be a Christian. He also claims to be a ‘mentor’ to other men.

Here’s the conversation:

(The ‘Mentor’ said) ‘I’ll have to talk to you later - I’m taking the guys I ‘mentor’ out to lunch, but, we have to go to a salad bar’

(I asked) ‘Why?’

(The Mentor replied) ‘ One of the guys is on a diet. If we get together we need to avoid the desert and ice cream places or his crying is too extreme.’

(I replied) ‘Oh really?’

(The ‘Mentor replies) ‘Yeah, He's still well over 250 but he is down about 50. Looked at him the other day and he actually had a face’

Added note? The 'Mentor' is a man who is well into 60 pounds overweight - and has diabetes that can be controlled by his diet.

So - What would you think of this conversation?

Is this funny to you? Rude? Reprehensible, talking that way behind someone's back like that? How would it make you feel if he was talking about YOU?

Do you think the person would ever say these things to his ‘friends’ face? (NOT)!

I’d like some feed back.

I’ll tell you my opinion after a few of your opinions come in. No, I won't I'll tell you now.

I think he's an absolute hypocritical sodding JERK to say something like that behind someone's back - the 'someone' a man who 'looks up to him' and 'depends on him'. What kind of freakin' touch-hole talks that filthy behind someones back! 'Yeah, har har, I could finally see his face!' GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

So, am I being too sensitive in my opinion this 'man' is nothing but a 'talk the talk who doesn't walk the walk' kind a hypocrite?

peace ♥♥♥

Many so called, self proclaimed "Christians" are like that. This is why I don't go to church and pretty much made up my own religion. I told my "Christian" friends that if I could find a church that wasn't full of hypocritical people, I would go on a regular basis.

In my opinion, Christianity is a controlling, money grabbing bunch of malarkey.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of good people out there, no matter what their faith. I just think that most people "hide" behind religion to make themselves feel better.

reply to post by silo13


Need more information!

What is this man mentoring the other man in? What kind of "authority" position is this man in?

Is this funny to you? Rude? Reprehensible, talking that way behind someone's back like that? How would it make you feel if he was talking about YOU?

I think he's an absolute hypocritical sodding JERK to say something like that behind someone's back - the 'someone' a man who 'looks up to him' and 'depends on him'. What kind of freakin' touch-hole talks that filthy behind someones back! 'Yeah, har har, I could finally see his face!' GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Are you not guilty of the same thing you accuse this man of doing, by coming here to a public forum, where he is not able to defend himself?

Is not what you call him also applicable to yourself, since you are doing what you are accusing him of doing?

Yes but the OP has not said "Iam a Christian" he/she is asking if the way the guy has acted is a "Christian way"

reply to post by silo13


The comment is actually perfectly Christian. When people are fat enough, their facial features become much less discernible because the bone structure become hidden behind a large layer of fat. What you are hearing is someone who for you is being too honest. Tell them you don't appreciate too much honesty in some cases.

If the guy is focusing on the negative, that is one thing. But, if he is just telling it like it is and what it is is somewhat crude and embarrassing, then its up to you to let people know you can't handle it.

Gossip, Paul teaches that the Gossip is a most horrendous act, that those that engage in in its practice are committing sin against their brother and against GOD.

We must understand that All of us fall short of the Glory of GOD, that All of us are sinners and each of us must start everyday with renewal, reconciliation, and rededication.

This story you relate epitomizes the state in which we find the Church in today.

The Blind leading the blind.

I understand your ears heard the man you refer to degrading his brother, and this is true.

Your mind most likely went straight to the teaching of Jesus “ How can you remove the splinter from your brother’s eye, when you are blinded by the log in your own”.

I am sure that the gentlemen we are discussing was unaware of what he was saying, and the harm in which it caused.

But, this is the point. Each of us knowingly or unknowingly commit acts like these daily.

This is why we must be on guard every minute, if we are to be the “salt”, the “light” we must take personal responsibility in montoring our own actions very carefully, at all times.



What should you take from this encounter ?

The “mentor” has accepted a position that is beyond his Spiritual Maturity. Pray that the Spirit will supply him with the tools necessary to complete his work.

Use this encounter as an example of what not to do in your own life. Give thanks to the Spirit for his instruction.

Pray for the heavy man that he will be successful in his desire to lose the weight, it seems like this person is the one that may, in this case, be walking the path.
Understand that Christians are only people, they have the same faults, frailties, and transgressions that the rest of humanity face.

reply to post by silo13

I'm responding only because you were specifically asking people to, not because I have anything useful to say. All I have are questions. Some of the questions have already been asked.

A new person in any field can use a mentor. Is this a welding mentor? A fitness mentor? A spiritual mentor?

Do you know the person he was talking about? Did he have some reason for believing you would keep the converstaion confidential?

Do you think that "his crying is too extreme" meant the guy actually shed tears, or as is more likely, that he would just complain?

"Talks that filthy behind someone's back?" I don't see it as "that filthy." He was talking about a guy that had weighed well over 300 pounds. I think a plausible argument could be made for the proposition that he was commenting on how remarkable the change was.

Will you judge him, now, for what you see as a failing? Do you want us to support you in your anger? Are you unsure about what Christianity calls for in this situation?

I'm sorry, I don't understand. I wish I could have been a help.

I was raised Christian. I found most to be hypocritical - petty - and gossipy. (this may be true in other religions - - I don't know - - I only speak of what I know).

They do things because they are supposed to - - - few are sincere and do it from the heart.

You know "treasures in Heaven" - - - building up your good deeds to favor your god.

Originally posted by brokedown
Gossip, Paul teaches that the Gossip is a most horrendous act, that those that engage in in its practice are committing sin against their brother and against GOD.

This is interesting to me. I tried many Christian denominations through out my life searching for my belief.

Mormons take murmuring and charity seriously. They do have a volunteer Bishop - but not a preacher - - its more just talking - - and anyone can get up and talk.

Murmuring is almost always part of the talk. Along with men telling their wives at least once a day that they love them.

It is an all volunteer "church". No one is paid (except some maintenance and office clerks - - depending on need).

In my experience Mormons are the closest to the behavior of what Christians should be. (and yes they are Christians).

reply to post by silo13


Christians who talk smack about others are everywhere..

Even the fact you made this thread can attest to that..

Now lets all be good Christians and continue to judge each other.. after all.. its the only way to really learn how to be a good christian..

Hey wait..I have an idea.. Why not tell the man what you think he is doing wrong..that he shouldn't put others down that way.. and then walk away and say a prayer for him.

Ahhh.. but that would take judging again... and to someones face.. far better to start a thread and slam the guy..instead of praying for him.

Silo..curious..are you Christian?

Originally posted by Annee
I was raised Christian. I found most to be hypocritical - petty - and gossipy. (this may be true in other religions - - I don't know - - I only speak of what I know).

They do things because they are supposed to - - - few are sincere and do it from the heart.

You know "treasures in Heaven" - - - building up your good deeds to favor your god.

wow.. its so nice to see that now that you aren't christian you never gossip or talk smack.. and have learned to be so loving...and non judgmental.

Humans by nature are hypocritical.. petty..gossipy and egotistical.

Don't blame Christ for the faults of all of humanity..

You trying to tell me atheists don't gossip.. aren't petty.. and malicious at times?

Most christians realize their weaknesses.. and have more repentance for them than many non christians

My opinion, short and sweet...

Most churchgoing Christians that I have interacted with seem to have a lack of understanding about what the Bible actually says. Most of the Churches in my area seem to teach prosperity gospel concepts... everything centering around money and social position. IMO this does little but create greedy, judgmental people who profess Christianity more as a social tool than as an actual statement of faith.

I am not meaning to paint with a broad brush here. I have met a number of people who actually seek to be Christ like in their behaviors. But the truth is that the other type seems to be far more common.

~Heff

Originally posted by gabby2011

Originally posted by Annee
I was raised Christian. I found most to be hypocritical - petty - and gossipy. (this may be true in other religions - - I don't know - - I only speak of what I know).

They do things because they are supposed to - - - few are sincere and do it from the heart.

You know "treasures in Heaven" - - - building up your good deeds to favor your god.

wow.. its so nice to see that now that you aren't christian you never gossip or talk smack.. and have learned to be so loving...and non judgmental.

Humans by nature are hypocritical.. petty..gossipy and egotistical.

Don't blame Christ for the faults of all of humanity..

You trying to tell me atheists don't gossip.. aren't petty.. and malicious at times?

Most christians realize their weaknesses.. and have more repentance for them than many non christians

Gabby - - I would appreciate it if you would just completely refrain from addressing me.

I spent 60+ years attending various Christian denominations (and other beliefs). Most likely I have more real-life experience with Christianity then you do.

Through out all my real-life experience I was also researching and studying the actual history of "biblical Jesus" - - which doesn't exist.

I am 65 now - - - and came to the realization 5 years ago - - - that none of it is real. Resulting in accepting myself as Atheist.

So give it a rest.

reply to post by Annee

Gabby - - I would appreciate it if you would just completely refrain from addressing me. I spent 60+ years attending various Christian denominations (and other beliefs). Most likely I have more real-life experience with Christianity then you do. Through out all my real-life experience I was also researching and studying the actual history of "biblical Jesus" - - which doesn't exist. I am 65 now - - - and came to the realization 5 years ago - - - that none of it is real. Resulting in accepting myself as Atheist. So give it a rest.

I'm totally ok with you being atheist..if that is your choice.

What I have a problem with is someone who is constantly putting down Christians and calls them gossipy..(which in fact may be true to a degree).. but yet I don't see any great love coming from you?.. I see how you love to gossip about Christians....so gossip and malice isn't totally being done by just Christians.

reply to post by yeahright

Christians, like the billions of other humans on the planet, aren't perfect. It's an impossible standard, but an admirable goal.

I saw a guy with an atheist decal on his rear window throw some trash out of his car the other day. Does that represent an atheist ideal?

*applauds* Excellent post.. and so very true.

Thank you for the words of wisdom..and I hope you don't mind if I borrow the first line I quoted above....it is so true..and so well written.

Originally posted by yeahright
I saw a guy with an atheist decal on his rear window throw some trash out of his car the other day. Does that represent an atheist ideal?

Atheist are individuals with only one thing in common. Lack of belief in a deity. They have no doctrine.

Perhaps Christians shouldn't set the bar so high that they can't reach it.

Perhaps they shouldn't judge others for not reaching the bar - - - they themselves find difficult to reach.

Originally posted by yeahright
We should all spend a lot more time judging ourselves against whatever ideal we see as appropriate, and not concern ourselves so much with what other people are doing.

Oh yeah! In my belief - - I consider every thought an action. Try that.

I am Atheist - - but I also believe energy creates and that thought is creative energy. Creative Energy becomes part of the energy Matrix (for lack of a better term).

Responsibility of thought.