Men and Child support. What is the answer?

reply to post by ofhumandescent


Yes ma'am, you are correct. I was blind sided though. I was married 15 years to my high school sweetheart. We grew up in church together, went out for 7 years before marriage. She was the "good girl", and my parents were friends with hers. The first 10 years together were awesome. She was the "perfect" wife, friend, lover, everything. Somewhere around year 13-14 she went BONKERS! Started sleeping around, lying, spending vast amounts of money etc... She has since changed her ways back to a bit more sanity, after life smacked her around real good for a few years, but the damage is done, and she's still a golddigger. I've way moved on, and am with a good woman again, but no more kids. My current wife can't have them, and loves mine dearly.

I still find it amazing that the "family" court thinks it better to have kids with a carousing, party girl having a mid-life crisis, than their pediatric nurse, stable father. I truly do believe it is because I make more money, and that's more capital setting in the system at interest for them. It's the only theory that makes any sense. She was definitely not in a better position, or more able, and positively not more "qualified" to care for them than I was. It all boiled down to: You are male, you pay, and pay you will.

Us fathers (well some of us) get a real rough ride. In the UK its the same. The mother gets custody, thats pretty much standard and I have to pay (which I dont mind). I pay a fortune and I have no holidays, drive a 13 year old car and massively in debt from the divorce.

Yet she has a new car, works part time and enjoys a better life than I do, with my money! Oh well, 7 years to go!

Child Support Guidelines ruled Unconstitutional in Georgia

www.akidsright.org...

reply to post by boondock-saint


Hell yes!!!!

This needs to be addressed Nationwide.Im hoping EVERY state starts doing something about this,because our Nation is being ripped apart by so much PC stupidity. Get back to basics,and what made this country great. Make the family unit stronger,not dumber.Quit making the average Joe a slave to the system.


K,rant off............

Originally posted by sonnny1
reply to post by boondock-saint

 

Hell yes!!!!

well not to put a cork in ur champagne
bottle, but I think u might wanna read
it before u celebrate.

The only thing ruled unconstitutional
was the disproportionate child support
payments between men and women.
The guidelines used by judges to set
the amount was what they considered
unconstitutional. It was much more harsh
on men that it was for women who made
the same income.

However, it is a step in the right direction.
But it ain't there yet.

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by Binder
reply to post by Annee

 

I gross $70K a year. After medical insurance, taxes, and child support I net $400 a week. She makes $50K a year before my child support bolsters her net an additional $27K a year

So what.

It is your child.

So what?

You seem to be advocating for women, yet have no problem whatsoever with a young woman being raised to think is acceptable for her mother to take her caring, hard working father to the cleaners, turning him into a hollowed out shell while mommy and daughter live in the lap of luxury. Disgusting.

Raising a child should be a cooperative effort... child support is for the child. It is NOT for the luxury and convenience of some lazy hag of a mother. A woman that skims child support for her own luxury while the father lives in poverty, is one of the most disgusting forms of subhuman filth in existence... not to mention which, a horrible example of parenting. Every single penny of that money should be going towards the child's future.

reply to post by Gregandgemma


Its the same in Australia as well and by reading members posts within the thread says to me that it hasn`t got any better over the years.

I went through what your all describing nearly twenty years ago just after the no blame laws were dismissed (hint hint)

I been through hell and back,yet still feel the hell of it after all this time,to read what you guys are going through I had to fight the lump in my throat for knowing full well what your going through and whats being played out on your children.Dont let my avarta fool you into thinking I`m smiling within this thread.

I dont think there is a more evil corrupt system in the world than the Child Support System as it stands in the world today.

Not only does it generate revenue for women,Laywers and Government from males its a system to generate more males to fall into the system.Being that the father is made to look like he deserves it,whether he does or not and push him to the brink and be labelled a dead beat dad,where many fathers either snap and become unemployed,suicide or worse.How then will the children (mainly the son) see or learn what a good dad/husband he really was or to become,to then fall into the trap when he`s of age,or the daughter seeing how much power the mother can have at a whim.

Without going into detail of the whole horror show I personally went through,I`ll just say what I did that made me succeed and grasp some life back,as it may be an answer in the future to someone.

I started my own business,it was tough going for a few years but no tougher than what they put me through,I made it sucessful.The Agencies dont like people (majority males) doing this and they fought me quit viscously in the beginning even more so than before,reason being I was taking back control over my income, add to that the legitimate business tax perks that they now had no control over,ie all vehicle expenses and depreciation, equipment, phones insurances etc etc which are all tax deductable.

I always payed what they said was required and more,I never ran the business deceitfully,even though I could have easily and felt at times I should run it deceitfully because the ex made sure I lost contact of my (big ???) twin boys practically from birth.

I also loudly echoe those saying to know completely the women your getting involved with and condoms is a must,even check the packet for tampering if your unsure,the risk is far to great.

I wouldn`t wish what I went through as I know your going through on anyone,except those who designed it and allow it to continue.

I hope this helps someone and I`m a u2u away for a chat/vent

Originally posted by boondock-saint

Originally posted by Annee
reply to post by ofhumandescent

 

All I can say to you is - - the same thing women have been told for years.
Your son picked the wrong woman.

well all I can say to this is,
there are MILLIONS of wrong women
in this world. Not to mention that
women change after they get married.
Their whole outlook on marriage changes
cuz they know that laws support them
as a back-up if they decide to get out
of or destroy the marriage by their own
choosing. That is their safety net.
Child Support Laws.

there are millions of wrong men also, and without the child support laws, the tables are turned a complete 180degrees. if not more, since the moms are at a disadvantage in the job market and less likely to make as much money as those wrong men!!! the answer would be to have true equality...men get custody for half the time, women the other half, they each share in the cost of child care if it's needed so they both can work, and they are each equally responsible for earning the money that is needed to care for those kids.....
but then, well, you are looking at having two households that can shelter the kids instead of one, not to mention cooperation between the couple, of which they probably couldn't cooperate that much while they were together, which is probably why they are apart!!

Well, my ex owes me $20k+ for our 9 year old son. I have always told him to just pay what he can. Sometimes that's $100, sometimes $25. But, he also goes months at a time without paying anything, nor seeing his son. His retort's to my pleading for support have always been - "you have a job, you have a car, you have an apartment" - basically he sees it that as long as I have somewhere to live I don't need his help supporting our child, but he is so wrong because we get food stamps and medicaid and I would give anything to not be on social welfare. He just doesn't get it. One day my son will see him for the person he has become and lose all respect for him, to me that is punishment enough.

with the current divorce rate in this country at 50% any marriage that produces children is a potential financial death sentence...but 99% of the time that only applies to the man.

reply to post by ofhumandescent


Star for you.
Actually I should have put a sarcasm tag there, as When I did like my kids I was an awesome Dad.
I broke myself for them literally, they always had the newest chinese crap money could buy, did all of the sports and social activities and I was there to catch it all on film.
I realize now that although I did my best to instill good values I have raised several entitled brats.
Boy I can't wait for them to have kids of their own!
It ain't easy, and it certainly ain't cheap!

Child support? You mean ex support. I pay a fair amount of money to my childrens mother(and I use that term loosely) so she can go out drinking,party with her friends and support her other habits while the kids suffer. I am married and have 2 children at home and my wife is unable to work , rent,gas, insurance for 2 vehicles,food,clothing,electricity,water,and other bills. The court also makes me provide medical insurance for my 2 children with my ex. And insurance is not cheap. My ex had her house given to her, her car given to her(and her insurance is paid for her by her grandmother) even her cell phone bill is paid for her. The only bill she has is her electricity and her water.Both of which she is consistently late on and getting service cut off. Yet I pay her more a month than the mortgage payment on a 4 bedroom 3 bath home in Orlando. All while I struggle to keep up with my house hold and provide for my family and never get to see my other two children because she wont allow it. Which is perfectly legal in Florida. Just cause you pay child support doesn't give you any parental rights. How messed up is that? Is the system screwed up? just a wee bit. I was late once due to the company that takes the money out of my check not sending the money for 2 weeks. You would have thought I was the worst person on the planet. Harassing phone calls, calls to my job,threats to suspend my license, report it to my creditors, etc. And I tried to get assistance and they say I make too much money because they go off your gross not what I bring home after all the deductions. Which is less than half of my gross.
I have a friend who has custody of his daughter and always has. His ex has NEVER paid a single red cent of her court ordered child support and they REFUSE to do anything to her. They told him he would have to get a lawyer and take it to court. But if the shoe was on the other foot-he would be drawn and quartered,tarred and feathered and buried under the jail. Its a beautiful system.....

reply to post by boondock-saint


Are you supporting, understanding and advocating being a Family Annihilator?

I have a solution.

Every guy over 8 has to have a ritual vasectomy until he's old enough, willing, or proven he's got enough money to support his children until they are adults regardless of his marital status.

Look, I Fixed It. Good Solution. It would solve all your problems.

Originally posted by Aeons
reply to post by boondock-saint

 

Are you supporting, understanding and advocating being a Family Annihilator?

absolutely not, I didn't create this system we have.
It has flaws and needs reform. But all many see
including me, is that it's getting worse, not better.

Originally posted by CaDreamer

If the government wants men to do their part as i have they need to add incentives to the process or dead beats will win the battle eventually.

I totally feel your pain my friend I have 2 children from prvious relationships, nope the babes didnt make it to Wife because of,,,,,,,, certain materialistic values they had that I sensed. Thing is I pay child support for them both keep up on it too and try to accept its for my kids. Where it gets reall strange is the mothers of my children seem to take the checks and spend them how they wish. My first borns mother has made other children and their father pays no support and is not supporting his and it seems like my checks for my child are being spread over all my childs siblings. This is bothersom to see money direct taken from my pay go to where ever. I do try not to let it bother me and even at time when both my kids mothers need extras on top of what they are getting I look out. It is a mess tho because I look and say where is all the money going I pay it and they still need. [color=skyblue]So The only way I seen to fix this is the governments who feel I must pay this money need to distribute child support cards and every purchase made is data logged. And if there is an attempt to spend on other then the child then the purchase wont be accepted. If the governments do this many fathers who are good fathers and just ended up with the wrong ladies will be appreciative I feel, knowing their money is going on the child and not a car payment or house bill.. Its sickning and I am sorry it gets you down as it did me for sometime until I tried to figure new ways to remanage my funds so I could live a little as well. Because if left up to the system I am supposed to be 1 room shacken it public transportationing it working just to pay for them to be comfortable. GOOD LUCK my frien from one in the same boat. It was beautiful creating them but sickninig to see what their mothers turned too.

Be Well

Originally posted by CaDreamer
with the current divorce rate in this country at 50% any marriage that produces children is a potential financial death sentence...but 99% of the time that only applies to the man.

Statistics tell a different story. No matter how many sob stories and wanna-be-family-annihilators you hear from, statistics are pretty clear. They clearly show that this is *NOT* this case.

reply to post by CaDreamer


The system does not give a crap about men. Thats is a fact. They dont care if you are put in financial ruin. They also dont care that it really doesent take all that much money to raise a child. Im a single father i know. I have custody of my daughter. She is 6. The laws are geared towards women and the thought that without a man they wont be able to "make ends meet". Total crap. Last time i checked a woman is just as capable as a man to earn a living. To pay for your child to live is one thing but to pay her moms light bill is totally different. And thats what i see on a daily basis. The father scraping to get by while the mother has enought money to pay the rent and the new car note. Wheres the equality in that?

MOTF!

reply to post by Ophiuchus 13


Only in the mind of a sociopath does the idea of feeding one child and letting other starve in a household make sense.

Man I do really feel for ALL of you Men and Women as some women pay it as well its just ill. The cards will allow the chance if court is scheduled for the data to be presented and proven and all attempted mispurchases will show the intent of the recieving parent. So keep your hopes up