May 21 wasn't it, but it MAY be coming on one of these dates!

Hello. After much scientific study, mostly concerning the effects of an all nacho cheese and lite-beer diet, I have concluded that there may be a possibility of something happeneing on one of the follwing dates:




or




or




I can almost guarentee that there may be something that people consider to be "bad" that occurs within this period. Furthermore, there is the distinct possibility that any number of false prophets will claim to know the dates specifically...hubris...only I can almost with just a hint of doubt claim that something may happen in the dates I have listed. In three years, I will post the next three years...donations are currently being accepted.

ColoradoJens

Ahhh haha u so funny!

S+F for the comic relief!

reply to post by ColoradoJens


Please tell me this is a joke?...

Jamie.

reply to post by ColoradoJens


You asked for it..
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/b5919d859cd3.gif[/atsimg]

reply to post by pandapowerjamie


Well, I suppose it could be looked at that way. Aren't all predictions slightly funny when discussing things impossible to know? The way I look at it, if you cover as much ground as possible, you are prepared for anything. Including sleeping in occasionally. And to be honest, my scientific study of consuming massive quantities of "stadium" nacho cheese and beer only for the last six months has only proven what I knew to be true before starting the study: Rapture or not, better have some double ply handy.

CJ

Originally posted by grindhouzer
reply to post by ColoradoJens

 

You asked for it..
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/b5919d859cd3.gif[/atsimg]

Jimminey Christmas that is a violent image!

We seem to have a problem here.
Code PEBKAC.
Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair.

sigh.
Good try though.

reply to post by grey580


Nice try? Do you have any idea how hard it is to predict the impossible? Man, I tell you, my scientific research has led me to many interesting conclusion, least of which is you all want the specific date...it doesn't work that way...we need to think a little more in a historical context. May 1994, May 2011, not much in "historical" time between the two. I thought that by adding three more years, and then three after that etc etc I may be able to better predict the future, because what, a couple hundred years give or take in the grand scheme of things is an extremely close prediciton, wouldn't you think?

Another good way to help understand this idea is to apply a generous amount of stadium cheese onto your left hand, palm side. Feel it's power as it creeps slowly into your blood stream. Now think about how if you covered yourself head to toe in stadium cheese what the sensation would be like! More coverage = better results.

Please watch the video contained within a few scrolls down...not my work, but still relevant.

I Love Nacho Cheese

Finally, to center your gravity while making rapture predictions, as only the most learned know this is extremely important, it is imperative to wear one of these...male or female...

The Cuchini

I hope this helps future predictors!

CJ

reply to post by ColoradoJens


Look people, as two examples of thousands, here is a small list of hucksters with their so called "facts": believe what you will. Read as many internet blogs as humanly possible and absorb the half-truths. These people are making money off you: a drop in the ocean:

Selling 2012

Ah, ok then...

Here is a list of those who claimed to know the future, but never bothered to suck a gallon of stadium cheese through one of those curly straws, follow by a sixer of miller lite.

list of suckas

ColoradoJens

reply to post by ColoradoJens


I see this is not getting much attention. PEOPLE! The exact date WILL NOT BE REVEALED. Your next best option is mine. Please, please, please read up on stadium cheese and corona light. Ideal quick recipe: Mix 3 parts stadium cheese with a twelve pack of corona light; consume. Repeat for 6 months. Prophecies will come to you like boogers to the back of a road boys mouth.

Also, just a teaser for next months "HOLY F**K! WERE ALL GONNA DIE!" magazine, after a two month in depth project where I immerse myself in Oban scotch and frosted flakes, I come to the unbreakable conclusion that the rapture is a little closer than I thought.

Also, be sure to purchase my dvd and motivational materials @ stadiumcheeseandlitebeerproject.org

ColoradoJens

Originally posted by AOA2012
Ahhh haha

u so funny!

S+F for the comic relief!

Thanks! I'm glad you think it's funny. I do too.

Last week, I was soaking in a two hundred gallon tank of stadium cheese and sipping on my Milwaukee's best lite when a thunderbolt of inspiration hit me like a 747 made of stadium cheese.
Nacho cheese beer.
Why not? They have lime beer, birch beer, whatever beer, why not nacho beer?

It's funny, I was all set to call my banker to wire the money over to start a nacho beer company when I suddenly realized I didn't have a banker and I also had about $14.23 in my checking account. The idea since has been acknowledged as terrible.

I have come to realize I may be leaning to heavily on the mickey's lights and stadium cheese BBQ's I hold every night. I wonder if it was like this for the shaman and their peyote and wayuso. Perhaps los Colorados de Ecuadorpsss pues felt this way after licking too many tree frogs...I don't know.

The thing that makes me keep coming back is the fact I keep seeing these dreams, ones that are very specific, historically speaking, that give me power in knowing I CAN see the future, and ONLY I, having dicovered the power, know the general time frame of when there may actually almost likely be something that may occur that is really, really, bad. Last night, I woke up with my hair standing on end, sweating like a sprinter and thrashing wildly...terrified...a new vision came to me through nacho cheese smeared glasses...this...

Perpetual Calendar

reply to post by ColoradoJens


What, no one can take a joke?

CJ

Thread officially de-railed...good work ATS'ers.

Originally posted by LightAssassin
Thread officially de-railed...good work ATS'ers.

I am hurt by your mean spirited words. Did you read the lenghts I went in order to help me understand the gift I was given? At least I tried...what have you done?

CJ

reply to post by ColoradoJens


LOL Who said you can't learn anything on ATS? Cuchini? I swear, when I woke up this morning, I didn't know I would learn about Cuchinis...

The before and after pictures were really convincing and after analysis, I conclude there wasn't much photoshopping on it, if Photoshop was involved at all...

One thing is for sure, progress will never stop humans!

PS: Do you see in the future a version of Cuchinis for men? LOL

reply to post by NowanKenubi


Nice you caught that...people always forget to wear their cuchini when making predictions. It's like they never went to prediction pre-school. ALWAYS put on the Cuchini before applying your nacho-cheese based skin cream. Such a simple thing....

CJ

reply to post by NowanKenubi


Just to prove my point, I was right! My dates for "bad-things a happenin'" were right on! Can someone say oil spills, nebraska powerplant meltdown, the release of "Transformers 3"...all tragedies occurred within my predicted dates...man I am good.

CJ

Come on up the street, and I'll make sure you get another tub of nacho cheese for more excellent "work".

Colorado is a lovely place to be..

reply to post by Cygnis


Could always use another tub; it's getting harder and harder to comy by some good stadium nacho cheese these days,,,man, I tell ya!

CJ

reply to post by ColoradoJens


I'm still wondering if I should try and picture you with stadium nacho cheese skin cream covering you..

Thats the only thing I find to be plaguing my mind..

6 pack is the easy part.. just depends on what ya like.

"anything is possible, at any given time, if the circumstances permitt".