Misogyny: Ruining the Female Male Relationship(esp. in the digital age)

Originally posted by Jerk_Idiot
reply to post by hotbakedtater

 

It is difficult to express a complex situation in effectively sound bites on here. However I will point some things out from my past that I had problems understanding till women explained to me. Even than I did not understand. When I was young I could not understand why any man would hit a woman. As I got older and watched the question changed. It became why did women WANT TO BE HIT BY MEN? Not only want it, ask for it, but even beg for it. This greatly bothered me. The women I saw begging to be hit were not stupid, at least I didn't believe them to be. Yet they were doing things to their man that if a man did it would get him killed. Literally, not figuratively. Why were they doing this? Did they not understand?

As time went on I developed women friends. That means I wasn't for whatever reason trying to crawl into their pants and they did not need me to defend them at the time. Explanations for that at another time. When they were not in danger and realized I was not particularly interested in jumping their bones, Oh my God I must be queer! , they were willing to talk and answer questions. I asked several of them the same question. What really surprised me is all of them gave me the same answer. They did understand. If they could get their man to hit them they were in control. They had forced him to show he cared. They could also make him feel guilty. They had control over him. It was what they WANTED! Their words. I still do not get it. To date I have never hit a women. When they try this I walk away. Even from my wife till she got the message. Care to explain?

So tell me, in YOUR mind, how are these women "begging" to be hit?

I want a detailed explanation of what you saw, and how these women were begging to be hit.

Originally posted by amazed
So tell me, in YOUR mind, how are these women "begging" to be hit?

I want a detailed explanation of what you saw, and how these women were begging to be hit.

If they do something to the equivalent or worse than what which would get men a slap from their wives/girlfriends.

Sorry, this question was not directed at me and I certainly dont think ALL women do this, but a lot of them do and there's my "opinion".

Originally posted by Brood

Originally posted by amazed
So tell me, in YOUR mind, how are these women "begging" to be hit?

I want a detailed explanation of what you saw, and how these women were begging to be hit.

If they do something to the equivalent or worse than what which would get men a slap from their wives/girlfriends.

Sorry, this question was not directed at me and I certainly dont think ALL women do this, but a lot of them do and there's my "opinion".

edit on 30-9-2010 by Brood because: (no reason given)

Again, EXPLAIN a direct example of what would be a "beg" to be hit.

Are you describing where a woman says to a man "please hit me, I am begging to be hit"? Or what?

Your example does not explain anything. I am asking a simple question, it is not hard to give a direct example of where you feel one person would be begging another to hit them.

If, none of you can come up with an EXACT example of a woman "begging" to be hit, then I suggest the idea is all in your imagination.

Harm None
Peace

reply to post by amazed


I know how to provoke a man into hitting me. It isn't hard.

You just keep yipping away and get even louder as he tries to leave or avoid the conflict. The whole key is to not let up and continue to denigrate him. Block the exits with your body as you insult him. Do not let him extricate himself from the conflict; he is trying to effectively diffuse the confrontation - You must not allow this!

*Do that and any reasonable person of sound mind will agree that the phrase ' begging for it' would describe your actions, or they will agree that you provoked it.





You mad now?

Originally posted by Exuberant1
reply to post by amazed

 

I know how to provoke a man into hitting me. It isn't hard.

You just keep yipping away and get even louder as he tries to leave or avoid the conflict. The whole key is to not let up and continue to denigrate him. Block the exits with your body as you insult him. Do not let him extricate himself from the conflict; he is trying to effectively diffuse the confrontation - You must not allow this!

*Do that and any reasonable person of sound mind will agree that the phrase ' begging for it' would describe your actions, or they will agree that you provoked it.


You mad now?

edit on 1-10-2010 by Exuberant1 because: (no reason given)

Yipping? It sounds as if you are talking about dogs and not humans. Mad? Why would I be mad? I am trying to understand how someone would be "begging" for "it". Are you mad that I am asking such questions?

How is she/or he "yipping" at the other? What is the "yipping" about? How is she/he "denigrating" the other? What is the situation? What was the "trigger" for such a situation to have started in the first place? For example, did she/he spend all the rent money on booze and are "yipping" at the other for it? Come on, seriously, I am asking for a full example here as I personally have not, in my life, actually seen one person "begging" another to hit them.

I agree that in the above situation, the person is not being respectful, but either way, no one is actually "begging" to be hit. Your example still does not prove one to be begging to be hit, they are being confrontational, yes, but being confrontational does not equal "begging to be hit", it may equal being disrespectful.

If a man is also "yipping" at a woman, and doing the same thing in your example, do you also believe he is "begging" to be hit?

Try it again please as I don't see it. Even in your example, if a woman is treating a man this way, he has a choice, to use the amount of force necessary to remove himself from the situation, or he can choose to become violent.

It is interesting how many men claim superiority to women because they are stronger than women, but then stoop so low as to imagine that to extricate themselves from your above example that they have to hit someone physically weaker than themselves.

Do you truly believe, that in your scenario the only option the man has would be to hit a woman? Are men so intellectually weak, that the only choice they have is physical violence? I would ponder this thought process, believing this is the "best" or "only" choice the man has, is believing men are not intelligent enough to find a way to diffuse the situation that does not require resorting to physical violence.

I believe both men and women are intelligent enough to find a healthier "out" in such a volatile situation.

I feel this ties in to misogyny, as believing that the only way to extricate yourself from the above example, leaves me to ponder the belief of superiority of one sex over the other. This belief is the only one I can think of that would leave one to imagine it acceptable to use violence towards another in your example. I, personally can think of many other choices, which does not involve harm to another.

Harm None
Peace

reply to post by hotbakedtater


Agreed. Just look at the way big advertising companies use sex and objectify women which in turn also de-humanizes them.

I think it would be fair to say men and women are obviously diffrent, but the extent to which these diffrences are exagurated causes male - female hate.

The way most cultures have treated women through out history and even today speaks for its self, lets face it were not exactly living in the most loving time in history are we???

Women and men who beg to be hit are called masochists. It is a sexual fetish.

reply to post by amazed


Nobody is saying they are actually hitting the women, they are saying that many women act like they want to be hit. You can continue making a fool of yourself by raging and going on about some unrelated tantrum you need to get out -- demanding "examples" when they aren't necessary. We won't hit you.

Originally posted by Brood
reply to post by amazed

 

Nobody is saying they are actually hitting the women, they are saying that many women act like they want to be hit. You can continue making a fool of yourself by raging and going on about some unrelated tantrum you need to get out -- demanding "examples" when they aren't necessary. We won't hit you.

edit on 1-10-2010 by Brood because: (no reason given)

edit on 1-10-2010 by Brood because: (no reason given)

Thank you for personally attacking me instead of answering the question. It shows lovely debate skills. I suggest it may be you "begging to be hit", by attacking me instead of answering my question, it feels as if you are the one "yipping". But I promise, I won't hit you, it is not my style.




Harm None
Peace

reply to post by amazed


I wasn't attacking anyone, just stating the obvious.

reply to post by amazed


Here's an example to support your cause of provoking people and condemning them by their choices of words as if it encapsulates their argument:

Should I be upset my best friend hit his wife?

My bud is 6ft 220lbs; his wife is 5ft 100lbs. About a year ago he comes to me saying his wife started getting physical with him – punching & scratching his face at home & in front of their six year old. This goes on for a few months, the whole time he’s warning her that she needs to stop, he’s going to hit her back & eventually after four months he does.

She left him for a while & played the abused victim to her family, but when she came back (obviously not afraid of him) she tells him that even if she looses it & hits him, it’s not OK for him to be hitting her back because he’s so much bigger than her.

RelationshipProblemHelp

Originally posted by Brood
reply to post by amazed

 

Here's an example to support your cause of provoking people and condemning them by their choices of words as if it encapsulates their argument:

Should I be upset my best friend hit his wife?

My bud is 6ft 220lbs; his wife is 5ft 100lbs. About a year ago he comes to me saying his wife started getting physical with him – punching & scratching his face at home & in front of their six year old. This goes on for a few months, the whole time he’s warning her that she needs to stop, he’s going to hit her back & eventually after four months he does.

She left him for a while & played the abused victim to her family, but when she came back (obviously not afraid of him) she tells him that even if she looses it & hits him, it’s not OK for him to be hitting her back because he’s so much bigger than her.

RelationshipProblemHelp

edit on 2-10-2010 by Brood because: (no reason given)

Thank you for finally showing an example.

Yes, you (or the person asking if they should be upset at their friend) should be upset, at both of them, as they were both wrong imo. She for becoming violent in the first place, and he because he chose to stay in a violent situation and become violent back, he chose to hit her. He made a conscious decision to hit someone. His actions were no more acceptable than her actions were. They were both wrong. At least given the amount of information you have shared.

He could have chosen to leave before he chose to hit her. Therefore using intelligence, instead of physical force. He could have chosen counseling, or many other ways of dealing with a potentially harmful situation that did not require hitting someone.

I am not condoning the actions of the woman in your example, I also do not condone the example of her husband.

Harm NONE
Peace

reply to post by whatukno


Wow hate any women lately. I am a married woman but I don't tell my husband what to wear, how to dress, and he basically can do whatever he wants. I have never done anything like what you are suggesting. Maybe you had problems in your marriage or have problems, but that is by your own doing. Blaming the other person will never solve anything. Never has!! I myself can dress how I want, and do what I want too. I also do all the man stuff around the house but he has never heard me complain. I mow the lawn, rake leaves, pay the bills, cook dinner 6-7 days a week, wake up early to see my kids on the bus, clean, do laundry, fix things around the house, make sure my kids have descent clothes, pick up anything my hsuband has me do, and what not. All he has to do is go to work, come home and relax, no meanness, nothing to kill his spirit. I am sorry you have to get all the crap, but not every woman is like that!!

You should try for once to see what the other person sees, maybe that will help you!! By the way I hate metro sexuals, if I wanted someone like that I would have married a gay man! Enough said!!

reply to post by mysticalzoe

By the way I hate metro sexuals, if I wanted someone like that I would have married a gay man! Enough said!!

I hate them too! They confuse us gay men... how am I supposed to know that you're straight if your shirt... fits .

I also think the gay men that create metros -- like those in Queer Eye -- are an embarrassment to the gay community.

Originally posted by Brood
reply to post by mysticalzoe

 

By the way I hate metro sexuals, if I wanted someone like that I would have married a gay man! Enough said!!

I hate them too! They confuse us gay men... how am I supposed to know that you're straight if your shirt... fits

.

I also think the gay men that create metros -- like those in Queer Eye -- are an embarrassment to the gay community.

Forgive me but why should anyone dictate what a group of people should or should not do? Surely having some form of ideal of what a gay man is/isn't means individuality is restricted. I'm not gay so forgive me if you think this is an area i should not comment on but it seems very odd to me you think this. Just like straight men not being able to embrace moisturiser, if they want it then fine let them, it's individuality, their choice.

I don't understand it though, as far as i'm concerned if a guy is clean then he's good to go, and i think the same of women. People spending fortunes on every latest cosmetic seems to be because magazines make them feel bad about the reality of what they look like.

Originally posted by BaldTaillessApe
Agreed. Just look at the way big advertising companies use sex and objectify women which in turn also de-humanizes them.

And that would not be possible without women who are willing to participate in advertising campaigns that portray women as sex objects.

Let's not pass the buck here.

It's the same with pornography, stripping and ''dancing''. If these contribute to a man's low opinion of women, then the women that are queueing up to degrade themselves in these roles are the ones to blame.

The un-pc fact of the matter is that it is all too common for women to willingly subjugate themselves to a man's wishes.

Women are the submissive gender, and 50 years of warped feminism will not change millions of years of evolution.

Originally posted by hotbakedtater
Women and men who beg to be hit are called masochists. It is a sexual fetish.

Masochists are the only people who should not live their lives by the Golden Rule !

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

On the matter of women being hit, I wouldn't imagine that any woman would be genuinely ''asking for it'', the problem lies with how so many seem to react and interpret it.

Some people say that women are too emotional and lack logic; I wouldn't necessarily agree with that, but what I've observed is that women tend to let their emotions and feeling override their logical thought process.

It's in this way that women sometimes ''accept'' being hit, because in their own bizarre way they interpret it positively as a strong show of emotion from the man towards them.

Even so any objective, logical look at a man that beats his missus, will conclude that he's a control freak, a bully and a coward that can't control his emotions and can't articulate his feelings and has to resort to violence to get his ''message'' across.

I even heard with my own ears once, a girl confide to a friend after apparently being punched by her ''man'':
''At least it shows that he cares''.

reply to post by hotbakedtater


I would say misogyny and misanthropy is what ruins the female/male relationship. But, I do realise it's more popular to blame one over the other.

Originally posted by Watcher-In-The-Shadows
reply to post by hotbakedtater

 

I would say misogyny and misanthropy is what ruins the female/male relationship. But, I do realise it's more popular to blame one over the other.

So true, women blame men and men blame women, the cycle that never ends. Maybe discussions like this one and the other thread will eventually help end that cycle of blame.

Or not, haven't men nd women been at it and blaming each other since Adam and Eve?

Hey...wait a minute....Adam started the blame game, lol!

At least we know where it all began,

The Bible!