Does the one you love feel the same way?

I was curious about some that have relationships/ marriages/ bf/gf/ partner that you may love with all your heart, but does not share similar thoughts about current events. Someone that you connect with on many levels, except this on, and I mean this one as ATS, or any other activity that may seem conspiratorial.

How do you manage to deal? I am currently is a long term relationship, where we do have a lot of the same interest's. Though we do research some things together I can see myself slowly evolving, and he's not budging.

I'm very much into out doors, I love building gardens, shelters (for a shtf scenario), and Ive purchased land with full intent on survival. He's more or less still into video games, and wrestling, and things that I do not watch anymore. Not to knock anyone who does these things, but its becoming more and more frustrating, when I'm on ATS, and learning, he keeps interrupting to tell me what's happening at WWE.

I do love him, but my heart is now fighting my brain. I was wondering if I was the only one. If this is sometimes the escape for so many of us, and that's why so many posts have been talking about the frustration more recently to these posts.

I mean sometimes I wonder if its because some of use are accelerating at so many different levels that we take them out on each other, due to not having the spiritual/research/ascending level with those closer to us.

Well that's my 2 cents, thanks for reading.



Peace to you...

I'm fortunate enough to have someone that shares my views in general.
He's more angry then me,so we tend to be at loggerheads over a few things,and i spend more time reading news articles or doing research than he does(he comes home and ask's what's going on in the world lol).....but overall we see eye-to-eye and spend most nights discussing,politics,religion,the unknown or,the children
He's not into sport,he doesn't watch TV and he's not into boy's nights out so we're together probably 99% of our evenings.And i do most of the talking.....9 years of chewing his ear off about allsorts.....he sure must love me!!

Edited to add : Spiritually we are strangers though.I'm alone there.

[edit on 1-7-2010 by TheLily]

do you ever but in to tell him whats going on on ATS? i'v had similar experiences in relationships, i just put it down to being two idividuals with individual interests. im always butting in when my otherhalfs just watching t.v to tell her what iran just did or what ex politician just said. and she's always butting in to tell me who her idiot freind is seeing this week or this one time at school..this one time at work. it's just a case off differing interests.

I feel ya. I am so into this stuff, but my husband would rather just play final fantasy all day when he gets home from work.
I am all interested in spiritual awakenings and enlightenment. I crave this info, and I have no one close to me to talk to about it. So I seek it by places like ATS, and I used to sometimes get good conversations from Toolchat. It was always kinda weird because I could never find any other women that were into this stuff, I would always end up talking to men, and I would worry about that. I didn't want that to worry my husband.... anyway I cant wait till I have 70 more replies so I can participate in chat here and maybe meet some like minded people and have great convos about all this stuff.

Well, it does seem that you are starting to drift apart with your lifestyle choices a little, which could be a problem.

Me and my wife have differing views on many different things, politics being a huge one (I'm conservative and she's Labour), which cause some serious rows sometimes, but we do share a similar lifestyle, so we share the important parts of our lives together and just enjoy the make-up sex.

All I could really suggest to you is try to meet on some common ground and both of you try not to let your respective lifestyles completely overtake your lives. In other words, you sort out your survival plans at the same time he's playing on his games and then neither of you is interrupting eachother's recreational times, but on the other hand, how about asking him to help you out every now and again and how about you sit down and watch a couple of rounds of WWE with him. You'll need the rest after all that survivalist bunker building and hoarding

You could even find an activity that you both really enjoy. Don't forget, you don't have to live in eachother's pockets and time apart is healthy and gives you somethig to talk about when you are together.

Yes! I love someone who is not as convinced as I am that frankly, things ain't looking great.

A big mistake I made in trying to get him to come around to my way of thinking was to have him come to ATS. Sadly, ATS is dominated (more so in the last couple of years) by sensationlist, unfounded, and just plain stupid threads. The threads that get the views are the reptile overlords or time travelling chipmunks. That's what he saw when he did come here and it turned him off. Completely understandable, and frankly a conspiracy in and of it self. What better way to discredit REAL conspiracies? Just make sure they are lumped in with the disaster porn and ludicrous "theories".

You said he likes video games? Perfect! My partner and I play video games together all the time and I have ntoiced many times where the games actually make refrences to subjects we all know well. I use this as starting points in our conversations. And he's open to listening, we have had some of the best discussions after a bout of Call of Duty or Splinter Cell.

I'm lucky in that he does enjoy the outdoors. We are going kayaking and camping for 5 days in Sweden soon, I've kind of packaged it up as a survival week for him and I, and he's cool with that. He's agreed to leave his Iphone at home. We have BoBs, my urging, but he saw the esnes in being prepared for SitX. Afterall it's just common sense.

Even the most solid of relationshsips have differences. I try and build on the differences, but sometimes I just have to accept the fact that he IS different.

And of course, if all hell were to break loose, I'd have the satisfaction of saying..." I told you soo...."

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


I have a lady friend who I have known for many years. I havent married her as of yet because I want to resolve many issues before taking that type of step in my life so we dont have to resolve them then. I do got love for her and she the same for me. But over the years as we have matured together and developed our personalities more I have noticed many topics and interest that I have most concerning conspiracy related topics seem too much for her to process and its sad. Sad because I feel someone you love you should be able to talk to about anything. But some of the topics I have discussed with her are too much so I back off and let her be and just proccess many thoughts on my own, because I feel its not fair to force these topics on her will especially if she isnt willing to become more open to these potential conspiracy related topics being true. It bothers me from time to time because its like I thought you were the one for me but due to the way I have to conceal certain things that interest me from you I really am beginning to question us..... And this is the same woman not to long ago this year that I was standing in the back yard and 6 to 8 lights in a arrow head formation came flying low enough to us to see them transform into a wavey like pattern, not sure if the lights were the streetlights reflecting of this object or the moonlight reflecting but looked more moonlightish. And she responded by making the cross on her chest because she knows she seen something never witnessed before in her life time. It appeared over about a month or so it filtered out her mind and she returned back to her uninterested self as if it never happened. So with that I see that some minds are so fearful (hers in general) of the unknown that even when presented to them face to face their minds will close out all that is unknown or conspiracy related.

So OP dont feel bad you are different mabey its a sign of what or who you are eternally and he may not be of the same origin, GOOD LUCK friend.. And it is nice to see there are actually women who can carry these conspiracy related interest/topics and remain sane with the rest GREAT JOB.

[edit on 7/1/10 by Ophiuchus 13]

No and thank God!

I couldn't stand it if we had the same views. We're each other's sounding board and devil's advocate.

If he held some of the same conspiratorial ideas and opinions as me, I would just have to shoot myself due to the hopelessness.

As it it stands, he is my rock and voice of reason. Plus he's cute.

I couldn't imagine a relationship, were my partner has complete different interests. It would be a relation of tadeoffs and that can't be much fun.
I really wonder, how couple's can live that way.

I'm glad i found the right partner, though i never ever imagined i would end up in a same-sex relationship, i'm just absolutely happy i found her. We've been together for 6 years now and it was a great time, especially because we share a lot of interests. Though we live together we don't spend every evening/day together. We do different things then and i think it helps our relationship and it makes those days and evening when we spend time together a bit more special.

As for ATS, i know that she also reads here a lot, she hasn't an account because she hates message boards and we also share most viewpoints. It's mostly our friends who give us a weird look when we start talking about ATS-compatible topics. Most of them aren't into politics and don't want to know whats going on and if, they read and believe some newspapers or TV News.

I was in a similar situation recently where I was with her off and on for about 8 years and she pretty didn't feel the same in the end. ha Shes more of a Hermit Boozer. where I on the other hand like to go out,hike,surf,party, enjoy my life, She thought ATS was lame and everyone on it must be a kook. well needless we ended things last Friday. As ive always had the mentality for relationships of If im not happy then peace out. Not saying i was a selfish guy with the my way or the highway attitude but being happy is the whole point of a relationship I know too many people who are in relationships just to be in a relationship and be able to get their booty fix whenever they want. But anyway the one I used to love (or thought I did) didn't feel the same and I peaced out. Looks like ima have a spare ticket for Ozzfest this year

Im only 24 so Its not like its the end of the world, there is plenty of fish in the sea.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


Hi NoRegretsEver (LOVE the name btw!!!)

Everyone does learn at different speeds and levels. Sounds like your mate is content with life as is...and that is OK for him. Sounds like you are not as content with staying the 'same ol same' every day and you see growth in your life. This may or many not be a conflict one day fro you both...

I would say it is a plus that he gives you your space to do the things you love! Some partners that different in life's contentment's fuss on each other for loving something that they dont understand. So what ever happens, thank him for letting you..BE YOU.

My first real relation...I started to really reach out and look for change in my Spiritual growth, and began to be obsessed about things of ancient history and mankind. My partner then, would give me a hard time....always tell me of better things HE thought I should be doing. It got to the point he tried to make me feel guilty for reading things I loved to learn about. Would call be lazy for loving to read. It really screwed with my mind for a while...for I am a people pleaser, I will bend over back wards most of the time for anyone. I shut myself down, for his sake. I became a 'blob' more or less....not seeking for anything I loved. Time played itself out though, and with great friends and family, I saw that I had every right to be ME. The problem then become...I had to find ME again! lol. Through a 11 year relation, 7years of marriage, 2 children together....we ended in divorce. But I have no regrets, for it all taught me things about myself.

I met someone that I have alot of differences again, but we have some things that I love about us too. He gives me all the space I need. He LOVES sports (yells at the TV as if it can hear him) and he is a absolute sucker for fishing and hunting. The only thing I have to be jealous over is his dang boat lol. Every now and then, he will come glance at what I am reading or writing....sometimes he will say 'How does anyone KNOW that for sure?' and walk away frustrated. Its just not for him....to ponder, to wonder, to need reasons. He has a good heart, he helps others if he can, he is loyal, and he can make me laugh. These are good enough for me. If a lover can be your best friend...I think that is something alot of people dont find.

I used to try to get him to watch certain shows (shows that teach you something, history, discovery ect) with me....he doesnt last longer then 10 mins on most stuff. He does enjoy watching ancient history of cultures, tribes, wars....so I settle for that. If I try to turn on a space show like history of the Universe....his mind just floats away lol. Every once in a while, he will listen to my thoughts on something....and his answer is always the same...'we just cant know for sure anything'. This helps keep me in check too....and his 'go with the flow' in life helps pull me back now and then to just 'smell the roses'.

We have found interests that we meet in the middle on, while giving each other room to enjoy our individual interests. I do worry sometimes because my dreams for the future have alot to do with things I want to make happen in the world....and Im not sure if he would be a part of that. I just will cross that road when that comes. Today, Ill enjoy it for what it is.

He can watch hours of fishing and hunting....I cant stand to watch it at all. I know where you are coming from. That is when I take that time for 'me time' for I know from my past relation...how much of a need 'me time' is needed. Im so thankful to have someone that doesnt fuss on me having a passion in learning and growing as a person.

You might not see it...but your mate, is learning things from you. Just because he isnt following you in where you are at in growing, does not mean you are not affecting his own inner being. It might all come in handy for him one day.

Wish you both the best!! All relations are works in progress, always. Some relations, grow out of eachother. Only you can be the judge of determining that.

He watched contact (movie with Jodie Foster) with me the other day and I cant believe he made it through the whole show!! But again, things like that leave him frustrated, I dont think he likes to 'think' about things we 'dont know'. It leaves him uncomfortable.

This year we started a garden together...this was a huge step in our relation, it was something that we both had to work on and give our part of the work, to make it happen. It was a really good test to see if we can work together if we need to. Together, we can be proud of something 'we' created. At first it took a little tug and pull to get him out there...but his face lights up now when he can go pick his own peppers to go with his dinner in the evening.

All my best,
LV

BTW....thanks for listening as well

[edit on 1-7-2010 by LeoVirgo]

[edit on 1-7-2010 by LeoVirgo]

reply to post by TheLily


You are lucky, and of course I wish you all the best.

Thank you.

Peace to you...

reply to post by danielhanson420


Oh yes, I have tried to let him know what going on whenever I get a chance, or between matches on the x-box, but it gets frustrating, sooo, I guess I have some thinking to do.

Thank you.


Peace to you...

reply to post by toolstarr


I should definitely look into chat here also, maybe when you get your 70 replies we can meet there and chat .


Peace to you...

No because i have never loved anyone.

Better off and always will be, and i am glad.

reply to post by nik1halo


Well the weird thing is I'm sure that he doesn't feel the same way. I do watch a little of WWE (if Batista's on) But though I try to intertwine our lives, it doesn't seem to be working, I feel like I'm have to separate myself from myself, by acting as if I enjoy these things sometimes.


Peace to you...

reply to post by Merigold


Yes I know how you feel, sometimes I will see a topic that I hope he doesn't see, so that he doesn't feel validated for NOT researching, but most of the time I look for info and he just waits to hear if anything is interesting enough for him.

I feel like I have to be a media outlet, though when I'm here I can get the back and forth.


Peace to you...

reply to post by Ophiuchus 13


I can see where even with hard evidence it could either make it easier or harder for people to process, but I am sure that women are over looked on these topics, I have made sure that I have posted topics here that are very different in nature as to make sure I don't get bogged down with one subject, so even though I cannot really give relationship advice, maybe you can be sure that she is fully aware of your interest's so that later on resentment doesn't come into play IMO.


Peace to you...

reply to post by kosmicjack


I can say this, you are lucky, and enjoy, because as you can see, not all of us are that lucky.


Peace to you...

reply to post by ShadowAngel85


I think that you never really realize where your going to find love, its just great when you have it. Its also good that you don't spend every minute together, because then you have something to talk about, and you can miss each other.


Peace to you...