I'm struggling with my spiritual awakening

OOH! First thread nerves lol!

Last year I got put on to a new way of thinking by a member of ATS. I began meditating for the first time, learning about vibrations, chakras, energies, higher light magic and all that good stuff. I always in the past tended to stay away from all the organised religion but at the same time I had a burning desire to believe in something more than this mortal life so this non-religious spirituality suited me down to the ground.
All was going well until I began to awaken, a calm and inner knowing came over me at the start, I was reaching levels of love I hadn't experienced before.
My brain un-fuzzed so to speak and found I could think much more clearly and perceptively, it was like I had been living my life at 60%.....all indeed was going well......

After months of seemingly becoming more awakened, I'm at a point now where its becoming a daily battle to keep myself on an even keel spiritually. Since my inner light became switched on strange things have started to happen to me (Some are off-topic so I'll keep them for another thread!) I'm at a point where this awakening has attracted things like paranormal events, strange and disturbing thoughts, Feelings of being watched by some sort of entity, a mocking outlook on the world and a lack of empathy with my fellow man.

To me at this point it seems that you have to pick a side (light or dark) then you are just used as a tool for that side, being thankful for the knowlege but paying for it though your acts in this world. I don't see the point in taking part and having to become nothing more than a instrument for which ever side you pick. I'm contemplating giving up and becoming neutral in this unseen game, ignorance is bliss they say!

I don't know if this is connected but recently I've had this tingling sensation on top of my head right over the crown chakra, it feels like energy or something. Does anyone know what this could be?

Thanks for reading, any advice would be much appreciated because with all the downsides I've been experiencing over the past few months I'm struggling to see the ultimate goal of it all.

reply to post by strangleholder1


I am getting the feeling that you are, trying too hard? Maybe you need to put it out of your mind for a while, and get back to feeling like you for a while.

I don't know about the supernatural things that are happening to you, but it seems like your subconscious is sending you a message to slow down.

Don't pick the light or the dark, pick you for a while.

reply to post by strangleholder1


Read the Knee of Listening and the Method of the Siddhas.
www.beezone.com...

You are not alone my friend.
Many are experiencing these things as we speak.
Hold on to the thought that you are eternal; this physical life is a chance to experience things on the physical realm, while also dabbling in different dimensions through meditation and various other practices.
Many dimensions exist over one another...as the universe is nearing the next phase, more and more contact has been made with entities on many levels.
These things are very intelligent, and I believe full disclosure will be known around 2011 about it.

I can relate to you 100%....I feel similar to you, sorry I dont have any great advice to offer you (because im just as confused)...I look forward to reading the responses you get. Good luck to you....

I'm with you.

My growing has stopped. I think i have to do something to start it up. A crossroads of some sort.

reply to post by strangleholder1


Sounds like you may have inadvertently attracted a negative entity. This would explain the negative feelings and feelings of being watched. Unfortunately, this possible insight is all I can offer. However, (unlike me) there are those who can determine if this is in fact what has happened, and can help you get rid of any negative entities that have attached themselves to you.

Good luck, blessing and light be with you.



[edit on 2-5-2010 by Wolftotem]

I'm glad some of you can relate to this, is it just me or are alot of people begining to awake? its like as a species through the hive mind we are all spreading enlightenment, people do seem to be experiencing a lot of similar things at this time. Perhaps there is something major just around the corner for us all. I get feelings we are not far away from a large event involving us all as a whole. My intuition is it aint going to be particulary pretty either.

reply to post by strangleholder1


Oh yes... many are awakening each day.
It'll all make sense.

I think those negative "entities" might as well be your own lower impulses. We all have these sides, and they can be overcomed.

I've been through it. You said you feel like that you're being watched.. well, a little bit paranoia comes with the territory. I also could be part of the realization that, in the end, we are all connected and that you are really never alone. Unless you shut yourself completely out. You can fight these negative energies many ways.. meditation, laughter, music etc. They are like poison in us, never entirely gone, but we can reduce them almost to none.

In here, you'll get a lot of help, but also those who say that positive outlook on the world is useless and other BS.

Welcome to ATS friend.

reply to post by strangleholder1


Yes indeed, awareness and consciousness are on the rise. The time for a change is here and now. The process has already started. We are entering a new phase of evolution and great changes will occur in the very near future.

As for the entity you talk about, i will try to explain why it's happening.

Once a human being rises to higher conscious levels, entities of the astral plane do everything in their power to stop that process, to maintain their domination on mankind. Just stay neutral, and do not look at your thoughts with a subjective attitude. Subjectivity only results in loss of vital energy, which is what these entities feed on.

Sounds like you're on the path. Never a dull moment.

You will find your balance.

I know spending time with nature helps me. All kinds of animals and trees waiting to be friends with ya.



[edit on 2-5-2010 by wylee]

reply to post by Tryptych


Thanks for the welcome buddy, I came to same conclusion that it was my shadow self or lower pulses getting stronger as I grow. Its still quite a new world to me and I haven't figured out how to put a stop to this so my shadow self is running rough-shot over my mind lol!. Would you have any tips on how to do this?

You are not alone my friend. If you ever feel like sharing your views, here is my thread about the same instances that many of us are facing. We've kind of developed into a safe haven for people to talk about this stuff.


www.abovetopsecret.com...

It's a very big thread and will probably take you a while to get through, but we touch on everything that you seem to be going through. This goes for anybody else that has already posted on this thread. If you feel like talking, sharing experiences, or views, please stop over to the thread. Your input would be greatly appreciated.


Peace be with you.

-truthseeker

reply to post by RRokkyy


Thanks for the link, this book looks excellent. Hopefully it can clear a few questions up for me.....

Many mystics and spiritual adepts from every tradition speak of a period of initial acceleration/advancement, followed by a "dark night of the soul" that you have to get through before you can advance further. Some traditions call it "traveling through the black forest," and so on.

I think it really depends on what kind of path you are on, what kind of practice or practices you are focusing on. Many paths, one mountain, as the Zen people say...the different paths all lead to the same place, but you can get there fast or slow. Its a lot faster to scale a sheer cliff wall than it is to take a leasurely meandering path up the mountain...but you run a greater risk of breaking your leg, too.

Neverthless, I think a kind of "journey through the dark forest" seems to be part of most types of spirituality. It is never pleasant but maybe its something we all have to do at various times to advance further. "This is the mystery of the quotent: upon us all, a little rain must fall," as one fellow once put it long ago and far away...

I'll be thinking of you and sending my best wishes for further advancement. Keep a sense of balance and patience in all things, and don't give up your journey towards the peak.

[edit on 5/2/10 by silent thunder]

Originally posted by wylee
I know spending time with nature helps me. All kinds of animals and trees waiting to be friends with ya.

I have to agree with wylee here, nature is the biggest healer. Sunshine and reggae, good friends, good times.. and if you're up to it, you can put on a spiritual mayhem by meditation and give those impulses a good healthy dose of positive energy.

Take it as a some kind of spiritual warfare, even if it's all inside your head.

Originally posted by silent thunder

"dark night of the soul"

I was actually thinking about that, but it's usually thought as a period later on in the "spiritual" (ugh..) development. Some say it doesn't even exists. I don't know if it's a one specific "thing" 'tho. Could mean a lot of things.

reply to post by silent thunder


The part about going too fast is very close to what I think may have happened, I am pretty confused by the whole experience. My inner knowing seems broken along with my abitlity to see the good in the world. This "Dark night of the soul" seems on the money, sometimes feels like its some sort of test, the trouble is I'm failing most days lol!

If you just read the poem of The Dark Night of the Soul, it doesn't seem so bad. But that phrase has become something like In My Darkest Hour. That's not what's going on here; seems more like a conflict. I like the advice that said: don't choose either, choose yourself for awhile. That puts the whole thing in limbo and buys time. So take your time. You might need it to prepare/study or rest for what happens down the road.