posted on Apr, 20 2010 @ 03:26 PM
For Earth Day I am taking two male cats to be neutered at The Happy Paws volunteer clinic. That will shut up the neighbors whose females cats keep
getting pregnant because they don't get them spayed.
The rest of the morning I will sit in my yard and watch little green sprouts push up through the dirt in my garden.
I will finally get bored waiting for that to happen, so I will plant a Dwarf Lilac bush.
After my wife tells me she doesn't want it where I planted it, I will transplant it where she tells me she really wants it, cursing all the while
because I should have asked her that day, not the day before, where she wanted it.
Then it will probably be time to retrieve the cats from the clinic and bring them home.
Then I will need to fill in the first hole I dug for the bush.
After that I will go back to the garden to see if any of the pea seeds have sprouted. They won't have, yet.
Finally, I will drive to the liquor store, buy a bottle of Jim Beam, 4 year old, not the more expensive 7 year old, all the while wishing I had enough
money to buy a bottle of Maker's Mark, but I spent the extra money on the bush.
I'll come home and will find that my grandson has beat the bush dang near to death with a stick, because I had previously told him, "Don't yell in
my house. If you feel angry about something, go outside and take a stick and beat on something (preferably not his sisters or the cats), until you get
it all out of your system."
I will see the bush, sit down and open the bottle of Jim Beam, take a hefty swallow, then say the hell with Earth Day, pick up the stick my grandson
left lying in the yard and beat the bush totally into submission.
Then I will paint a picture of a Dwarf Lilac bush, using the picture on the tag that came with the bush, give it to my wife and say, "Here's the
bush. You plant it where ever you want it."
No doubt she will tell me exactly where I can put that bush and not change he mind the next day.
Oh, and it will rain all day, too. And I will get very wet.
[edit on 20-4-2010 by kyred]