A Little Help For Men Trying To Understand Women!

I have heard said that women are hard to understand, hard to figure out. As a woman, I do not see myself as such. I suppose I might be able to see why we might be seen as complicated. I would like to take a moment and just explain some things if I may.

1. We do sometimes cry for no reason. Believe me when I say it doesn't have to have anything to do with anything that some else did. I know that personally, tears are a way for me to relieve pent up stress. I also cry when I am happy. I cry for friends...really...sometimes we just need to. Don't take it personally.

2. Sometimes we just need to be alone. Again, do not take it personally. I for one work with the public. There are people in my face all day long. This is very energy draining. Some time alone does wonders for the psyche. After a long day at work I feel spread rather thin if you will...it doesn't mean we don't love you or enjoy your company. Its healing.

3. Sometimes we really do have a headache or are just tired. Get up, put in 9 or 10 hours at work, come home cook dinner, do dishes, do laundry, bathe the kids, help with homework...whatever the case may be. We are not invincible and it doesn't mean there is some one else. Yet again, don't take it personally.

4. Pardon my french here, but yes we can be "bitchy". You would be too if your hormones were out of whack and you felt like your innards were in a vice and being squeezed and twisted along with your lower back, and your breasts were tender but you had to bind them into a torture device anyway and go on with your day like nothing is wrong. We love you, but back off!

5. Cuddling is essential without sex because it is comforting. Sometimes we just want to be held. It doesn't mean we aren't attracted to you anymore. See # 3.

6. Its not that we don't love your mother, but really...do we have to like her?

That it my two cents on the subject. I hope it helps!


Ladies feel free to add anything that I may have missed.

[edit on 20-8-2009 by Greenize]

lol awsome flag for u good work

After two failed marriages and two sucessful divorces, I've had about 5 years on disability to think these things out. Soooo, it does make sense to me.

And 5? Sometimes we just want to be held?

My last wife seemed to be bitchy because she needed an excuse to keep cheating on me also. But looking back, I would have left me too.

[edit on 20-8-2009 by aleon1018]

reply to post by aleon1018


I am sorry! Believe it or not though, we are not all cheaters. I have been married for over 24 years, since I was 18. My husband was my first and my last... there are good ones to be found. I hope you find her!

Good post Greenize!

It reminds me of the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. It's a really good book that I highly recommend!

This is all good, but I hope you're not one of those females that has an "I'm a bitch" or "I can go from zero to bitch in 4.5 seconds" bumper sticker.

reply to post by Greenize


I'm not implying that most women are. The fact is that it happens on both sides. I recalled having caught her with someone when I came home for lunch. She later tried to fix me up with her sister. It's a long soap opera.

I wrote before that I'm a born again virgin, over 5 years now. So, I think I understand when we need to be alone. When my wife had left me, it was nice and quiet, than I realized it was too quiet. Losing my kids was the hardest part. I moved back to my home state where my own family was.

Some people can't live with or without others and some people can't even live with themselves. Life stress takes it's toll on the whole family...even the pets.

reply to post by Whine Flu


No I am not. As a matter of fact, I do not like strife and discord. My children are 20 and 23 and have never seen me very angry. I don't yell, I don't scream. There are other ways to deal with things aside from those. Set down and try and talk it out, if that fails....cry!

reply to post by Greenize


Amen, sister! Couldn't have said it better myself!

reply to post by Greenize


You forgot "diamonds are the lubricant of love" ...

I kid I kid, thanks for the tips.

Now off to work on my reciprocal thread:

A little help for women trying to overanalyze men and everything else

reply to post by aleon1018


I can only imagine the pain of losing your children! I do wish for you true love and happiness in the future!! You seem to have a great sense of humor and the willingness to admit that things were two sided, both admirable qualities!

Oh I forget to ask ...

My favorite hobbies are listening and being improved.

Do women like that?

reply to post by schrodingers dog


You go boy and may I be the first to reply to that thread!!



Ps. I do not like jewelry. But now a day on the lake fishing and a cooler of bud lite....

[edit on 20-8-2009 by Greenize]

reply to post by schrodingers dog


Okay now your just teasing! But just in case...I could see those being attractive to some women....

Originally posted by schrodingers dog
reply to post by Greenize

 

You forgot "diamonds are the lubricant of love" ...

Careful Dude...was it Ron White who quipped: "Diamonds...that'll shut 'er up"

reply to post by Greenize


Excellent post Greenize!

If I may.......

1. I don't think women cry for no reason. I think they cry for reasons that [most] men don't neccesarily understand. We have been socialized to not cry, that it's a "sissy thang". I realize that things that resonate with m'Bride don't always resonate with me, but that doesn't mean that I don't understand the cause and feeling. For example: Movies that touch me are usually about overcoming adversity, about reaching a milestone. Those things don't always touch my Bride, but she understands.

She would never get teery-eyed at the scene where Cuba Gooding, Jr., playing Chief Carl Brashier in the film Men of Honor, walks the 12 steps wearing a Navy Diver suit to be reaffirmed as a Navy Diver.

2. We need to be alone too. Some men chose to morph that alone time into time with their buds. No shame to it. I'm aware that when my darlin' comes home from work, I sometimes assail her with information, and she just needs to chill, to wind down without having to process still more information from me. I work alone most of the day, and I'm always, always glad when she gets home so we can talk about things. I give her space and later, post-chill, we can talk. Sometimes I'm practically fibrilating with the desire to talk with her about stuff.

3. Understood. Be human. We love you that way, even though we don't always show it.

4. I can't imagine how that feels, I can only empathize. Most of us guys don't suffer nearly as well as you women do. Some of us are even fairly whiney when we're in pain. We could be a lot more understanding, particularly when you're having pains and hormonal strangeness that we don't relate to. Backing off is a given. Hiding the knives is an option.

5. What you're really talking about it intimacy, and it shouldn't be dependent or even related to sex. Intimacy will carry a couple through times of no sex better than sex will carry a couple through times of little intimacy. It's something that we learn eventually. We like it too, but don't always acknowledge it. Truth is, most of us are really cavemen. We love you, but our needs are, for the most part very simple. We forget sometimes that yours are more complex.

6. Thank you for the effort. We know our mothers are a pain inne ass. We are bonded to them on a deep emotional level that we don't even understand, so sometimes we flex back at you, because privately, we agree with you, we just don't want to.

That it my two cents on the subject. I hope it helps!

and a beautiful two cents it was too! Thank you much. I think as as a species, we're eventually to get more connected, better with each other. My experience is that I didn't have a lot of encouragement to explore emotional responses, and had to learn how I felt on my own. Where I live, it's considered bad form by my mates to express affection for my wife, but that doesn't deter me. They put up with me. I can live with that.

Thanks for the space. Great thread!

reply to post by argentus


Kudos to you!!! Well said and your wife must be proud!!



Ps... Men of Honor is one of my faves and that scene where he takes the steps sucker punches me in the gut everytime! sniff sniff

Originally posted by Greenize
But now a day on the lake fishing and a cooler of bud lite..

Bud lite......

reply to post by whaaa


It tickles me that out of everything that I had to say you chose that to comment on!


To each his own!

Much like another poster, #5 is a bit counter-intuitive.

The funniest thing I ever heard once when a bunch of us were passing around the Jack Daniels was when a guy said that the secret to women is to treat them like you'd treat your horse.

A firm, but gentle hand. Then through the fog of alcohol, we determined a number of supporting elements that provided us with a lot of laughs.

You generally try to help guide them, but give them their head.

You can't ride them hard all the time.

They love to be stroked, brushed, and curried frequently.

They respond best to a gentle, reassuring hand and confident, soft voice.

You gotta keep them fed. The more you ride, the more they need to be fed.

Can't just get by feeding them hay. Gotta come across with a bait of corn now and then.

A little sugar in the pocket on occasion goes a long way.

When they want to strut, then you raise your own head, sit up straight, hold the reins high, pull your hat down firmly, and let them strut.

There were others that I can't recall, but we were so full of ourselves that we laughed until we hurt.