Men Versus Women

I was thinking today. Some of you know that me and my Fiancee have been having major problems lately. I believe that alot of relationships end up with sever problems because of a lack of understanding between the sexes.

I was wondering if I could get as many members as possible, both male and female, to post what they feel are the biggest misunderstandings in alot of relationships.

IE, what do men want from their women? How much of that are they NOT getting?

What do women want from their men? How much of that are they NOT getting?

Sorry if this is in the wrong forum. Thought General Chit Chat would be proper since this is not a topic of a specific relationship or interaction between two specific people.


[edit on 3-1-2008 by deadangel23]

Originally posted by deadangel23


I was wondering if I could get as many members as possible, both male and female, to post what they feel are the biggest misunderstandings in alot of relationships.

imo, the biggest misunderstandings in relationships is the couple misunderstanding each other...why?
lack of communication.

communication is key. good, bad, whatever....the comm lines should be open about everything. THAT is what makes relationships work...
just my opinion though.

i did something stupid yesterday and my wife called me on it. i could have lied or made something up but i didn't. i told her the truth, we talked about it and it was over. she was NOT happy with me but we got our feelings out there and it was over.

also, and this is a big one for me...never, never, ever go to sleep mad/not talking.
no matter what the issue is, resolve it.

now i am not saying if the wife wants to be alone for 30 minutes to cool off that you should force her to talk....no...
let her cool off if that is her process but then open up comms.

there you have it.

reply to post by Boondock78


Boon' you are my hero! I read your posts, you "live" real. It's really refreshing to see that some adults "get it". You are starred! Please post some Zap'... Apostrophe!

Mira



[edit on 3-1-2008 by Mira_of_lurk0more]

Maybe I should have been a little more clear. Of course communication is key. I suppose what I meant was "Misunderstanding" in terms of communication. You know, when things get taken wrong.

For instance:
Man: "I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really busy right now"
He is trying to get his work done as fast as possible to spend time with the woman

Woman: "Oh i see how it is, your work is more important than me"
She does not realize he is working to spend more time with her and jumps to conclusions

How is this problem solved? Surely we can't say in every sentence "I am very busy right now, I am working as fast as possible to spend time with you".

Originally posted by deadangel23
Maybe I should have been a little more clear. Of course communication is key. I suppose what I meant was "Misunderstanding" in terms of communication. You know, when things get taken wrong.

For instance:
Man: "I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really busy right now"
He is trying to get his work done as fast as possible to spend time with the woman

Woman: "Oh i see how it is, your work is more important than me"
She does not realize he is working to spend more time with her and jumps to conclusions

How is this problem solved? Surely we can't say in every sentence "I am very busy right now, I am working as fast as possible to spend time with you".

OP2: "I suppose what I meant was "Misunderstanding" in terms of communication. You know, when things get taken wrong."

Wailin' irony. Say exactly what you mean and no problemo... think first, speak second, provocative sexism like the title of this thread is a prime example of sensationalizing and being perhaps a low-order programmed "drama-queen". It is not clear communication by any stretch of any imagination worthy of creativity.

OP2: "How is this problem solved?"

Interpersonal communication skills and an education that includes respect for all, not just your favorites or some majority that one feels a belonging to. They teach this in Grade 9 in Canada, it isn't like rocket science or anything.

Mira

[edit on 3-1-2008 by Mira_of_lurk0more]

Originally posted by deadangel23
.

For instance:
Man: "I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really busy right now"
He is trying to get his work done as fast as possible to spend time with the woman

Woman: "Oh i see how it is, your work is more important than me"
She does not realize he is working to spend more time with her and jumps to conclusions.

seems like lack of comms to me. if one party is jumping to conclusions then the other party is not getting the issue across very well.
imo

reply to post by deadangel23


It is not often I will share pearls of wisdom, but you seem like a nice young man:

Every single relationship is plagued by both parties deep seeded desire to "change" their mate.

Men: They are quite a simple species.

1. Food (They like this very much)
2. Sex (Only thing keeping them from thinking of food)
3. Guy Stuff (Insert your hobby) Cars, Sports, Movies, Gaming
(all of these are non-chick stuff)

1&2 do not require elaboration. 3, however does. You see guys want to do guy stuff whenever they are not eating or having sex. I mean 24 hours a day would be ideal as they never get bored with their Guy stuff.

Problem: Women will have none of this simplistic 3 category guy for their mate. They love the challenge associated with adding a couple of more categories to their mates list. Many times a woman will choose a "lesser" mate. (Just go to a mall and look at some of the couples. Most guys say to themselves, "What the hell is she doing with that loser? Followed quickly by, "Man I'd like to **** her" concluding with, "Where the hell is the food court?"

Men have zero interest in the following yet are often forced to act as though they are:

1. Other peoples relationships
2. Current women's fashions (If men got to choose outfits one can only imagine!!)
3. Celebrities (Unless this is a personal hero they could care less)
4. Deep conversations regarding emotions (Highly unqualified)

Women: The complex creature.

1. Personal appearance is the top priority
2. A thorough understanding of every emotion
3. A constant advisor to mates, friends, and family

Let's look at these a little further:

1. Appearance: Women dress for other women. Period. There is nothing better for a woman to hear than a friend saying "Oh that is sooooo cute" "That looks amazing on you" Those shoes are adorable!"

This is really enjoyable for woman as they love to shine in the spotlight. It makes them feel wonderful. The above statements are proven facts as I have done a study of 73 men aging form 19 to 56 and 72 of these men all said they hate capri pants. Yet when one woman sees another in capris' it is quickly followed by, "Oh those are soooo cute, where'd you get them?"

2. Emotions: Women are the lucky ones as they can experience all the human emotions quite deeply. Often they can do this in just one day! They feel much more than men on every level. If they fall short on one emotion it may be jubilation. Men experience this quite deeply when their team wins, or they win at something. Women lack to some degree this "competitive" gene.

3. The Advisor: Women want to be asked how they feel about another's situation. They enjoy being brought into the mix (so to speak). Not many things give her more pleasure than being thrust into another's emotional roller coaster. When a woman can be the beacon of strength and hope for a friend or relative, well that might just trump the cute capri comments.

Women have little interest in the following areas: (yes there are exceptions)

1. Combustion engines
2. Wild Card playoff implications
3. Looking at other women and just imagining
4. Locations based upon their proximity to an eating establishment.

So here's the bottom line young Dead one,

Eliminate the "Change Element" in all relationships. If someone is not 100% certain they love their mate for exactly who they are, then all bets are off.

Don't try and get you woman friend to enjoy things she doesn't like. Once one mate begins this sacrificial journey of change, animosity will always follow.

Women should understand the simple species known as man. He's real good for certain things but to try and sculpt his behavior beyond the basic 3 is a recipe for disaster. If women want a man that constantly mumbles inaudibles under his breath, just try and change him and that is certainly what they will get.

So that's my take. If you want the advanced course it can be yours for only $39.95 and paypal is accepted.

Becker


[edit on 3-1-2008 by Becker44]

Women are shallow evil beings.

reply to post by Cho-Fan


Cho- We'll have none of that here please.

Can't you see the young Dead one is asking for some life changing advice?

What did your comment provide?

So I've taken the liberty to hide a pointy pebble in one of your shoes.

Becker