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Things people never say.

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posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 04:40 AM
what are the things people never say?

i'll start.-

"isnt Andrew lloyd webber handsome"

"i think im going to move to the uk, i love the weather there"

"i wish Dr.horracid would come back to ATS, i loved his impersonal, relaxed posts"

"geez optimus is ugly"

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 06:10 AM
"Doctor, I have seven anuses"

"Go tell sasquatch his foods getting cold"

"Could you lend me some cash, I need to buy butter and some boomerangs"

"Johnny won't be in today, his arm has turned into a goat"

"Dammit George, that was the last of the onions. How will we defeat the Bulgarians now, eh??"

"I didn't know you could get porn on the internet!"

, nice thread Fettimus.

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 06:26 AM
My all time favorite comes frome George Carlin:

"Hand me that piano."

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 06:55 AM
''Dad, you really ought to drink more.''

"I like George Bush..."

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 07:27 AM
" I really enjoyed 'Waterworld' with kevin costner...i went straight back in the cinema to watch it again"

"Grandma's going to love this new 'slipknot' cd"

" i cant wait for england to win the world cup"

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 08:48 AM
"George Walker, your so smart..."

"Osama is such a kidder..."

"Fox news, always accurate and unbiased"

"And this years Nobel Peace prize goes to...President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad!"

"Announcement: Palestien now recognizes Israel as a nation, time to party!"

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 09:42 AM
'Peter Andre and Jordan are such a lovely couple, and so elegant and tasteful too'.

'The Eurovision song contest is so wonderful, all the nations put their petty prejudices aside for the evening'

'Mr Bennett, you need to stick to McDonalds and beer from now on'

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 10:23 AM
"your right darling...that "club 18/30's baghdad" holiday looks a right laugh"

"yes lets form an alligance with france, there history of military conflicts is a sure fire sign of coming victory for our coalition"

"im really glad theyve got 'chilled monkey brains' on the menu, i hate boring starters"

[edit on 1-6-2006 by optimus fett]

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 12:15 PM
"Man, Canada has warm winters"

"What? It snows in Canada?"

"George Bush is the best Presidet ever"

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 01:34 PM
"hand me that brochure for holiday apartments in Iran"

"of course theres going to be no trouble at this years world cup between english and german fans"

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 02:39 PM
Earths entire population: "I sure am glad we all finally picked one religion"

Christian population: "I sure am glad we all finally picked one denomination"

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 04:20 PM
"Yes dear, it does make your butt look big"

"I love completing my tax return"

"I like my boogers battered and fried"

posted on Jun, 1 2006 @ 10:50 PM
"Honey, lets take our summer sun bathing vacation in Northern Siberia!

"Lets let the Americans rule the world"

"No, I do not want to drink, even though my girlfriend broke up with me!"

"No, I do not want to have sex with that hot stripper, even though I'm a virgin"

"I want to go hunting with Dick Cheney"

"George Bush is the man" (sorry, many have already said it, but I couldn't help myself

"Lets hand all our weapons to the government"

"Lets have peace!"

"I'd rather not steal money from that wallet full of $100 dollar bills lying on the road"

"NO, I do not want to shoot Bush, even though its legal for me to do so"

"Since I got a new Mercedes SLR that's much cooler, I'll donate my E-320 to charity"

"No, I do not want to own that strip club"

"Sorry, but I'm allergic to steak and lobster dinners"

" I want to be nice and throw $1,000,000 into the crowd"

"Lets move to Antarctica"

" Please cheat on me, honey"

" Please dump me. I know you are the hottest women in the world, I know you are great under the sheets, but I don't want anything to do with you anymore"

"Russian soldier is NOT funny at all!"

posted on Jun, 2 2006 @ 03:36 AM

"I want to go hunting with Dick Cheney"


posted on Jun, 2 2006 @ 04:49 AM
world leaders"lets stop all this fighting and party"
i want a big bum
i love bad hair days
cnn and fox news are so cool and report the truth always
the goverment never lie
wow george bush/tony blair are the best leaders ever!


posted on Jun, 2 2006 @ 04:59 AM
"ATS is so boring.." LOL

posted on Jun, 2 2006 @ 12:30 PM
"Curling is the most exciting sport ever!"

"I loved Jar Jar Binks in Star Wars. He was not annoying at all."

"George Bush speaks perfect english."

posted on Jun, 2 2006 @ 12:46 PM
I just love to watch that round headed boy eat

No that is not your chihuahua, Omar

please pass the sweet and sour effluent

No Dear, I love it when you correct my grammar

[edit on 2-6-2006 by whaaa]

posted on Jun, 2 2006 @ 12:55 PM
" i really want you to come on our boys night out darling"

"wheres that holiday brochure for france?"

" Donattela Vesace looks really fresh and young"

"Mike tyson is a real good role model for kids"

posted on Jun, 2 2006 @ 01:21 PM
"Im looking for a nice girl with warts"

"No actually, I think I prefer the blood stain"

"Tell me about your gall bladder operation again"

"Isn't it great the way all these kids can talk on their cell and drive at the same time"

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