Just rendered this one....original material only

Space for unique and user created humor.

Don't shoot me for cheese.


What do you shoot, but isn't fit to eat?

An azimuth.



Before you say it..I understand nothing is completely original.

What did the police cow say to all the other cows?










Moove along, there's nothing to see here.

sometimes when I think about the ones I've lost along the way



I wonder if Tour Guide was the right career for me

a reply to: didntasktobeborned

I kinda understand your joke to a degree .
Watch it be a time released joke.

This one is so old.

DOSAGE: take two tablets every six hours for joint pain.

SIDE EFFECTS: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the ears. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty percent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you.

You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience "spontaneous test-pilot knowledge." If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a "countdown." May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase "no can do." This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop.

There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, "I'm gonna wop you wid da ugly stick!" You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily "walking-around time."

Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy - join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting. The hook shape of the pill will often cause it to become caught in the larynx. To remove, jam a finger down your throat while a friend holds your nose to prevent the pill from lodging in a nasal passage. Then throw yourself stomach first on the back portion of a chair. The expulsion of air should eject the pill out of the mouth, unless it goes into a sinus cavity, or the brain. WARNING: This drug may shorten your intestines by twenty-one feet. Has been known to cause birth defects in the user retroactively. Passing in front of TV may cause the screen to moiré.

What did Chris Rock have on Monday morning?

Fresh Prince.

Boom Tish

Genius.a reply to: jerich0

originally posted by: jerich0
What did Chris Rock have on Monday morning?

Fresh Prints

Boom Tish

Fixed

well done.a reply to: Bigburgh

a reply to: didntasktobeborned

I like to say the following to end a particularly pointless convo...

"I will speak to you when I've got less time"

Throws em off and I enjoy the expression afterwards as they realise the layers but it's too late to continue as the conversation is now over

originally posted by: didntasktobeborned
Space for unique and user created humor.

Don't shoot me for cheese.


What do you shoot, but isn't fit to eat?

A human!

a reply to: Bigburgh

Our printer at work is named Fresh Prints of Bel Air

a reply to: chris_stibrany

Hahahaa