The Dumb Vibe!

a reply to: Macenroe82

This is actually a very good point. I often trip myself by not doing this also.

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

I actually had to teach a piece of this for a corporate class on anger management.

Sometime how we write comes across differently online because we aren’t able to give facial clues.
As someone mentioned earlier using lol or jk etc is used a lot to display sarcastic tone. I don’t think we have to use that but it’s important to think about how what you are saying sounds if a person can’t see your face.

The other thing, if you are writing about something people disagree with the first thing people will look for will be mistakes. Quickly scanning your post the first thing that stood out was using the word “hens” instead of hence and “meat” instead of meet. It’s actually pretty funny, but in a real debate people that do not know you are ESL would probably make fun of that. They are small mistakes but often little spelling issues will target you being labeled as dumb or ignorant.

Let me tell you about the world of sales, knowing your product is good, but knowing how to sell is much much better.
I was actually very good at sales, but I did not enjoy it. There is an aspect to most (commissioned)sales that involves deceit and it just wasn’t my thing. If you do want to continue in that venue, keep on learning to grow a thick skin!

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

I don't find your general tone to be aggressive at all. Quite the opposite actually; seems like you're very polite to me. However, as Macenroe stated, it can be very difficult sometimes to convey the correct emotion with text. The only other thing I might add is, ATS can be a tough place sometimes and you have to go in knowing you're going to receive pushback on just about anything you say from certain members. Each poster will likely have certain people who always disagree with them, you can almost anticipate their response in advance. It just goes with the territory.

Sorry, but I don't have any comment really on how to better deal with haters in your job world, but on here I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Regarding 'tone'......I think you can be from anywhere and write in any language and tone is hard to interpret online because you cannot hear someone's voice and the tone they are using (angry, happy, sad etc) and see facial expressions. When I type, I can often come off as super stern or aggressive w/ zero emotions....or just a real B. So, I feel I have to add in 'lol' or emojis or whatever at times.....just some way to make up for the lake of 'tone of voice' and facial expressions. Sometimes it works, other times not.

As far as the Twitter stuff. Don't even draw any conclusions from responses on Twitter. It is a circus of insanity. Take nothing personal from there. NOTHING.

As far as work...just be yourself and remember, you are always going to encounter the good and the bad of every character in life. And again, take absolutely nothing personal. Nobody knows you and your job is to just be professional and help the customer. They will never truly know your character and will only see a small snippet of your personality.

Obviously you are not dumb, as you speak multiple languages and are active here - which tends to draw intelligent people who use their mind far more than the average person....'out there'.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: KindraLabelle2



The other thing, if you are writing about something people disagree with the first thing people will look for will be mistakes. Quickly scanning your post the first thing that stood out was using the word “hens” instead of hence and “meat” instead of meet. It’s actually pretty funny, but in a real debate people that do not know you are ESL would probably make fun of that. They are small mistakes but often little spelling issues will target you being labeled as dumb or ignorant.

Adding to this...yup. If you say something that someone disagrees with - they will go straight to your typos/spelling/grammar errors and blast you for it. Whereas, knowing that the OP did not speak English as her native tongue, my mind automatically overlooked the spelling errors w/out a thought.

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

Yeah, got it. One that never ceases to amaze me is the one that goes something like '' Because you are brainwashed by main stream media'' . I almost always stifle the retort that goes something like ''yeah and you have your head stuffed to far up Donald Trump's butt.''

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

I'm sorry. It's just that some times I react to posters as if they are Americans.

On another one of your threads I totally did that.
www.abovetopsecret.com...
It's just that so many ATS Americans are preppers who have massive private estates stocked with all the water source, food, and off the grid mechanism to be self sufficient. I was reacting to that sort rather than reacting to you directly. Sorry.

But at least I didn't get any stars. Some other dude with his one-line response to my post got 4. Yaaa ATS!

By the way, I didn't notice the misspelling of IPCC right away, but when I was explaining my post to someone else I was all "The IPPC put out a ... wait, what? Is that IPPC or IPCC?"

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

1. I'm glad that they didn't delete this OP.

2. It's generally the people on ATS, not the person writing the comment to which they are responding. There are too many people unwilling to debate the merits of a comment and want to go straight to ad-hominem attacks because they don't like what they see.

3. Yes, there is a such thing as a written tone--in my recent experience, if you write in flowery language that is superficially nice, you can say anything that you want to; if you write directly without superficiality, you run the risk of backlash from the mods sometimes. It's rather funny, but it is what it is. You can see my OP here, where I responded to a previously deleted thread of mine that was direct about the subject matter with an over-the-top ridiculous way of saying the same thing, and it still stands. Go figure...but the topic might interest you, as it is a similar concern to what yours is, sort of.

ETA:
4. Keep in mind, though, it could be the substance of your posts--maybe people have valid disagreements, and when it's expressed, the debate can be sabotaged by both involved. I just looked at the link in the post above this one, and when YOU respond to people with CAPITAL LETTERS in certain words ONLY, it comes across as if you are talking to them as if they are toddlers, and that's a bad tone to set if you're looking for a rational response.

I’ve experienced the same issue. It seems to me many choose to apply their own preconceptions towards others rather quickly... making what’s presented easily dismissed.

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

Not to throw a monkey wrench into your righteous rant, but wasn't one of your complaints about people deciding "tone" and aren't you doing just that here?

"They used to be fun but now they're bitter ..."

Also, while your grammar structure for English is sound, you're mixing up homophones (words that sound alike, spelled different with different meanings - meat instead of meet for one). If people don't know that English isn't your native language, this could be contributing to the "dumb" vibe online at least.

Thanks for all the replies

Read all of them and taking it all into consideration.

Two people pointed out how I mix up words that sound the same, I had to go re-read my OP, twice, to notice the mistakes. Kept reading right over it. I guess that is due to me not being native English, and me not checking for errors, other that what the spellchecker suggests, lol . I see how that could come across as if I'm somewhat dumb

So, even when some of you said that there is nothing wrong with my English, I think i'll go back to old style forum writing and use as much 'lol' , haha, and emoticons as possible


All of the replies here were civilized, even when people disagreed at least they explained why they disagreed without all the unnecessary drama. That makes it much more fun reading through it and even makes people actually think about what is being said ( in my case anyway)

originally posted by: SlapMonkey
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

1. I'm glad that they didn't delete this OP.

2. It's generally the people on ATS, not the person writing the comment to which they are responding. There are too many people unwilling to debate the merits of a comment and want to go straight to ad-hominem attacks because they don't like what they see.

3. Yes, there is a such thing as a written tone--in my recent experience, if you write in flowery language that is superficially nice, you can say anything that you want to; if you write directly without superficiality, you run the risk of backlash from the mods sometimes. It's rather funny, but it is what it is. You can see my OP here, where I responded to a previously deleted thread of mine that was direct about the subject matter with an over-the-top ridiculous way of saying the same thing, and it still stands. Go figure...but the topic might interest you, as it is a similar concern to what yours is, sort of.

ETA:
4. Keep in mind, though, it could be the substance of your posts--maybe people have valid disagreements, and when it's expressed, the debate can be sabotaged by both involved. I just looked at the link in the post above this one, and when YOU respond to people with CAPITAL LETTERS in certain words ONLY, it comes across as if you are talking to them as if they are toddlers, and that's a bad tone to set if you're looking for a rational response.

Thanks for the link, I'm curious about your original post now, the one that got deleted

On the YOU thing... It isn't meant to be patronizing and It never occurred to me that people would view it that way.

originally posted by: pthena
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

I'm sorry. It's just that some times I react to posters as if they are Americans.

On another one of your threads I totally did that.
www.abovetopsecret.com...
It's just that so many ATS Americans are preppers who have massive private estates stocked with all the water source, food, and off the grid mechanism to be self sufficient. I was reacting to that sort rather than reacting to you directly. Sorry.

But at least I didn't get any stars. Some other dude with his one-line response to my post got 4. Yaaa ATS!

By the way, I didn't notice the misspelling of IPCC right away, but when I was explaining my post to someone else I was all "The IPPC put out a ... wait, what? Is that IPPC or IPCC?"

well, on that particular one I did understand what you meant, but I read your tone as 'angry' . On the bright side, your response did make me think further about how it is easy to tell people to prepare for doom, while not everyone is in a situation where they can. BTW, I'm not a big shot prepper

originally posted by: AccessDenied
I think I understand you perfectly.
In my experience most consider me white trash because I don't subscribe to the norms of society and that as a dropout I'm completely ignorant.
But when the world constantly forces you to view it from outside the box it's much more difficult to understand why those inside the box of society do what they do...and they shun those who are different.
It makes them feel better to call you dumb, or stupid or that you don't dare step over the boundaries of society expectations of you.( Your knowledge of electronics being a key one for your gender)
The Twitter example, I could easily chalk up to herd mentality and social media is full of it. It's not so much that many would disagree with you,but they would post that they did anyway because it's easier to jump on a bandwagon than walk by yourself.
That's my advice. Walk by yourself, and if anyone chooses to join you it's because you are being yourself.
So the saying goes..."You could be the ripest juiciest peach ever,and there will still be someone who hates peaches."
By the way, I have no issues with your use of English. It's far better than many I went to school with or read elsewhere on line.

I'm a dropout as well, lived on my own since I was 16 and just worked myself up to where I am now. The difference between then and now is that, back then, when people told me I was trash, or dumb, I believed it. Now I know it isn't true but a lot of people won't treat me differently for it.
I've been looking for an explanation for that for a while now and even did some experiments on my appearance. When I cut my hair short and dyed it brown a few years back, I did get more positive attitude from people offline. So I guess appearance has a lot to do with it.
Right now i'm just trying to blend in as much as I can so I don't provoke reactions by just being there. AT my job I try to be invisible until I'm in my clients face and it seems to work better for me that being 'all present'

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

Screw em. It's not your fault. People read "tone" however they want. They read with their own preconceived biases. If they want to get pissed off they're going to get pissed off.

I've dealt with it with friends, ex-girlfriends, family, coworkers, you name it.

That's why I prefer face-to-face interaction, or at least phone calls. Text and e-mails are the worst. Unless I sugar coat everything and kowtow to their every possible sensitivity there's a chance they're going to get upset over something—anything.

Also, it doesn't surprise since most of the people I meet can barely read; let alone compose a sentence.

And lord forbid you say anything that doesn't just vibe with them, or lead them to believe they're dumb or ignorant.

originally posted by: Macenroe82
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

If your not adding emojis to every sentence or a LOL or a HAHA.
Then people will always find a way to take offence or read too much into something.

Its incredibly difficult to convey emotion via text.
Which is why there's always an internet argument breaking out somewhere.

Yeah, that's totally what the issue is People can be just so ridiculous now-a-days I can't believe you would say something that ridiculous Why can't everyone just get along and not be a dumbass

Everything is just great hahaha

Now the tone is now a happy tone, because I used smiley faces and threw in a hahaha.

originally posted by: KindraLabelle2
On the YOU thing... It isn't meant to be patronizing and It never occurred to me that people would view it that way.

And therein lies the problem with internet communication across the board--even if you meant it with no disrespect, some people take it that way and react disrespectfully, and once that happens, no amount of defending yourself will matter.

That's why, in the end, I say that it's often more of a problem with the person reacting horribly than the initial comment itself.

In the end, just keep being authentically yourself. A wise man once told me that you should only expend energy on things that you can control, and how people receive you throughout your life isn't one of those things (to a point).

a reply to: AutomateThis1v2

I'll tell you what, there are some people here who play exactly the game you just typed. They hide behind emojis so they can be arrogant, rude and abrasive (I might even go as far as...libelous and slander too). This is one of the reasons I seldom use emojis, because that's even more smug than just being an outright dick.

a reply to: AutomateThis1v2

Exactly, and I felt no offense.

Now remove those smiles and the tone changes.

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
a reply to: AutomateThis1v2

I'll tell you what, there are some people here who play exactly the game you just typed. They hide behind emojis so they can be arrogant, rude and abrasive (I might even go as far as...libelous and slander too). This is one of the reasons I seldom use emojis, because that's even more smug than just being an outright dick.

I don't like emojis but the odd smiley or LOL comes in handy because I know my humour can seem warped at times.

Not to go off topic here but I love some of your posts about normal daily life and recall a great one about riding dirt bikes out in the sticks as a youth which resonated with me because that's how I learned to ride. The neighbour with a telescope was a great one as well.

Then I read one of yours and someone came and just straight out called bs and I couldn't understand what the heck was that all about. Total mystery to me and completely out of place. I was gobsmacked.

I used to avoid the mud pit but can see the appeal once you dip a toe in. It can be a bit of fun but I reserve my spiciness for the ones who like to dish it out first and rarely go for the long drawn out arguments. I think they're mainly between people who have "history" in that regard.
I still think one of the best things about this place is that you can disagree with someone in one thread then get on OK with the same person in another without things spilling over across different discussions.

I like the thumb, too, but use it sparingly.