a reply to:
WanderingMrM
Since the day a solitary wandering saint told me thusly, I have half-believed/ half-doubted, with sincerity & deep concern, at times exultant in
mystical reverence of God as He brings His presence near to me, and at other times hanging my head in shame for daring to believe, that I am Michael,
the archangel incarnate, that it is my destiny to rise & face down the most abominable, oppressive tyrants on this Earth, even that they know who I am
& are expecting it to happen - they cannot kill me for some reason, indeed my life has been saved miraculously on more than one occasion.. Then again
I castigate myself & try to believe that it must be 'crazy talk', that I'm just a damaged, broken man with no real future ahead of me.
But then, I have a powerful dream which perpetuates the narrative of a supposed true identity (I dream a lot, every night without fail - and often I
have had very specific dreams which predict some aspect of the future, which then promptly becomes reality in the days & weeks). I suffer the
incessant dissonance of the self doubt & self belief, cycling between the two bipolar positions regarding the truth of identity, often deliberately
readying myself to follow the Lord's instructions when the time comes, when the sign from my dreams is fulfilled, when everything will change, when
God's miracles will be seen again in power.
It is very important to point out that I am a humble Christian in as true a sense as is possible, and all my reverence belongs to the Lord, I would
never dream of usurping in any manner, even in my own thought life. But the dreams, and the supernatural events which have occurred frequently in my
own life, with regularity since I was a child, as well as the subtle persecution from some members of my foster family, the many cryptic events &
comments of a critical & destructive nature down the years, seemingly (effectively) designed to induce a strict sense of 'learned helplessness',
keeping me trapped in doubt & inaction, while the plans of the enemy are rolled out in the world, without any contesting..
Miracles & signs regarding this pattern of events have occurred even also in the life of my wife, long before she met me - a particular sign given to
her at the age of 15, as she lay clinically dead on a surgical operating table due to an anaphylactic reaction to non-steroidal anti-inflammatory
drugs - a near-death experience, in which she saw the Lord, who pointed at a figure representative of me, with my face, with the Lord telling her that
she was being commissioned to care for me in my despair. We met seven years later, and she knew that our relationship was destined to be marriage -
the commission was fulfilled a year later, and she has been a faithful & wonderful wife for almost 20 years (we married young - I turn 40 this week).
She has been patient in caring for my needs after I became physically disabled by a neurological condition which causes often unbearable neuropathic,
arthralgic, and fibromyalgic pain, with hyperalgesia, allodynia, myoclonic & nociceptive spasms throughout my body. She has cared, prayed, supported
me through the worst times.
It is hard for me to type this out, because I know the backlash that will follow. But I have been following this whole 'white tsar' discussion with
interest for several months, largely because I identify with the deep sense of suppressed destiny, the dissonance of the principle character, the
fears, self-doubts, and yet the mighty signs of confirmation & assurance of God's favour even in those darkest moments of self-doubt - & even the
shame of assuming that what I have been shown, repeatedly, is the truth concerning my spiritual identity.
I won't make a thread about this, but if you want to ask questions about the dreams, the encounters, the signs which so clearly impel me towards final
acceptance of the new name He has given me - perhaps through dialogue the absolute truth will become so clear that I lose those doubts - as I type, I
wonder if perhaps God is waiting for me to openly speak to others about this, after 25 years of holding back from literally everyone regarding the the
magnitude of the internal debate. Please, ask freely, I will tell you only the absolute truth. A few weeks ago I received prayer at church, and the
word given was thus (speaking by the anointing of the Holy Spirit) ~
"
Arise, arise & stand up! We accept you, we're honoured to have you here with us, we love you, we love you. You are mighty, you will
overcome, you are not rejected - the Father accepts you as a son & wants to embrace you"
This was received in my heart, also under the anointing, as an ultimate form of confirmation. The scripture was confirmed in the anointed
prophesying. Another example of confirmation is as follows: The minister of my old church saying, when ministering about rejection in front of the
1,000 members who were present for this particular festival meeting: "For example, at the time we didn't know that ** my given name ** was Michael".
There is no lack of clarity in these remarkable assertions, which both blew my mind at the times they were spoken - but because nobody has said
anything face to face about the knowledge of my identity nothing has yet come of it all. I suppose they are keeping to a prophesied instruction that
they must adhere to - that the 'awakening' could only come from me, that I must first speak openly of my own accord, before it will be openly
acknowledged...
The Time of the End
“At that time Michael, the archangel who stands guard over your nation, will arise (ETA - or, 'stand up' depending on translation).
Then there will be a time of anguish greater than any since nations first came into existence. But at that time every one of your people whose name is
written in the book will be rescued. Many of those whose bodies lie dead and buried will rise up, some to everlasting life and some to shame and
everlasting disgrace. Those who are wise will shine as bright as the sky, and those who lead many to righteousness will shine like the stars
forever. But you, Daniel, keep this prophecy a secret; seal up the book until the time of the end, when many will rush here and there, and knowledge
will increase.”
Then I, Daniel, looked and saw two others standing on opposite banks of the river. One of them asked the man dressed in linen, who was now standing
above the river, “How long will it be until these shocking events are over?”
Daniel 12: 1-6
Thanks,
FITO.
edit on MarchSunday2203CST05America/Chicago-060046 by FlyInTheOintment because: edit