Funniest thing your drill sergeant ever said.

"You better be so close to your shipmate in front of you that you can see the individual fibers in the hair they no longer have!" That was a few weeks in, so I had adjusted enough to find it funny because it was so stupid. I only laughed on the inside, of course.

When my ex-hubbs went through boot camp (Army), he arrived in-between when there weren't enough recruits yet to form a company, so for four or five days, he was housed alone in barracks that also housed some drill sergeants (not in their room but right next door, with a connecting door). He said they practiced yelling at each other every day. Said it was hilarious.

What to do after the army?

Go into advertising.

Bro, I can see your hair follicles (or lack there-of)!

Put on some Head and Shoulders - and get the fire bucket!

a reply to: KansasGirl

Well that's an inside look!

he was housed alone in barracks that also housed some drill sergeants

I was going to add to my last post to the OP, but this should work.

We had one town leave during Basic. I volunteered for guard duty.
Graduation parade; I volunteered for guard duty again.

because

No Instructors around. The dorm was all mine.

Good friends we've met, and good times we had.

Your service was so sad.

They anyway gave it up to Leningrad.

a reply to: halfoldman


I wasn't a conscript but I did read about Soviet conscripts.
Terror from the volunteers.
Alcoholism, hazing, drug addiction.

I don't know what was propaganda and what was real of what I read.

To Conscripts

One thing about the army though, it's a great equalizer.

I was always so ashamed of my body.
Before the army - I won't even go swim.
Leave those pretensions right there - I realized men come in all shapes and sizes.

After the army - put a shirt on -why?
If it's hot, don't bother.

a reply to: halfoldman

For some reason, (Billy Joel), I'm remembering the Cold War. For me it was like:

In ____ of 19__, President _____ decided it was a good idea to send troops to _______ to ______ in order to ____.
So ______ personnel and ____ ____ aircraft armed with ______ and ______ and ___ tons of equipment went to _________ on Operation _______.

Here's a kick in the face for you; well my face actually.

Years later, in a Saloon where I was performing some of my poetry, I came across a disabled Gulf War Vet who a lady friend had introduced me to. After a few too many drinks, having exited the back door, I told him the name of the operation. He responded "Oh yeah, I heard about that! That's when …. … … "

I said "No, that's not it at all."

All these years I've resisted Googling the name, afraid of setting off flags. A couple of weeks ago I did it. I was somewhat taken aback. There is a de-classified operation with the same name! The one that the Desert Storm Vet had known of.

So if I were to ever describe what happened when _______ sent people to ______ to _______, I would be discredited completely because hey, you can Google it, that's not what happened!

So it never happened. I suppose it won't ever show up on Google or History Books or anything. Ya just gotta love that Cold War!

I was thinking about doing a rant over this but resisted. Now I can just stick it here instead. Thanks for the thread. It's been a load of fun recalling the old days.

We had a kid crap his pants while we were marching. So they marched us back to the barracks and he went up first. When we finally got up, there was crap on the floor.

RDC pointed to it and screamed "AHHHHH SKID MARK" pointed at another kid and yelled "Recruuuuuiiiiittt! Clean that # up"

"4th Platooooohn, I want you to drink ATE CANteeens of wah-terrrr ervra day..."

"How many you drink?"

"One Drill Sargent..."

"To little, drop..."

"How many you drink?"

"Three DRILL Sergeant.."

"To much... drop."

"How many you drink, Son?"

"Two DRILL Sergeant.."

"Too easy... DROP."

a reply to: halfoldman

Drinking is for adults, not wankers. I’ll let you know when you’re old enough. Sandhurst 1985.

Drill Sergeant Mendoza:

- "Privates! Who here has a driver's license"?


Harpole:

- "Drill Sergeant! I do Drill SERGEANT"!


Me:

- "I do, Drill SERGEANT"! (Thinking I'll get to drive a 2 1/2 or Hummer)



Drill Sergeant Mendoza:

- "Great! You'll be assisting Private Harpole with Lawn Mower Duty"!


I assume that was his way of saying, 'Never Volunteer', dumbass!

I never volunteered for a damn thing after that.

a reply to: halfoldman

One of these things is not like the other.

"who the f@#$ are you? Have you been here the whole time?"

Some of these are pretty funny. I was going to go into the Marines but I got schizoprhenia when I was 17.

I had my hair cut when I was in the military police training centre.... however I got it done by someone who should never have been given a haircutting licence!

So next day I'm stood on the parade square, sporting a hacked head of almost shaved hair.....my drill Sgt walks past.....then does a double take......walks back......before hitting my beret off of my head with his pace stick, shouting, "You look like a fxxxxxg ginger tennis ball....get to jail!" 😁

Spent a day in the unit jail, then three weeks confined to the desk until it grew to a more respectable and less thug like length! 😂

Drill sgts......gotta love em!

CX.

Never been in the military (not counting cadets whilst a youth) so i have to ask - does a wife count instead? Frankly, they perform many of the same jobs!

originally posted by: halfoldman
They call me the "pssst" corporal

You know why?

Because that's the sound my cigarette makes when I put it out in your eye, if you don't listen.

Any other gems?

Parris Island
Kill Hat - "God damn it recruit, if you kill another sand flea, I will make you dig a full grave and bury it."