Lost my dog Sunday night and now near breaking point, please help.

a reply to: ccseagull

Thanks, I'm hoping he went with love in his heart and that my face was the last one he ever saw. It's just the waking up with him just lying there stiff and not moving that has stuck with me more than anything. I'm hoping that it passes. I actually stopped other people in the family, my parents who are elderly, from seeing him like that because it was obvious that he wasn't there. I tried to deal with it but couldn't and having to go down to them and tell them and have Mum break and then Dad, who isn't the type to cry, made it ten times worse but I know I'll get through I always do. I just push things down and look to Midnight (The other dog) and enjoy her even more.

I just pray that where ever he is he's as happy as he could possibly be and knows or knew how much he was loved.

a reply to: NerdGoddess

I've always believed that animals are smart but do not understand death and that it's more of a human thing. A vet told me that they just fall asleep and the next time they open their eyes they're in a big field with the dogs they knew in life and I hope this is true because he lost a puppy/son a few years back so I'm hoping they're back together and with my granddad enjoying whatever happens next.

a reply to: Farlander

I'm not a violent guy but the first person who said it to me over the phone coursed me to throw it across the room and break the screen on the wall lol I guess it was either that or go to their house and let's say show them what a fist looks like up close but thankfully I didn't.

Still thanks for your kind words.

a reply to: stosh64

Thanks for your kind words and yh he was a gorgeous dog, he was given the nick name babyboy because we walk passed a small school every day and I didn't want to be shouting "Playboy here Playboy" because well kids lol. And I feel sorry for your loss as well. I've lost a few dogs before mostly through natural aging and it still hurts sometimes. I don't plan on anymore dogs for a while because the idea of them dying is something that puts me off getting them which I know shouldn't. I think after Midnight (the other dog) I might take a break for a while. My Parents want to get another a little while after she has gone but I don't think I could deal.

These comments have all helped a lot.

a reply to: intrptr

Thanks for the comments. The video helps slightly although the song is gonna get stuck in my head now and will help.

a reply to: GreenGunther

Thanks for your words. I feel like that's the better way to look at it. To just celebrate his life and try to push the ending to the back of my mind but while the image is so fresh in my mind it's incredibly hard. I'm just glad there are people on here that can understand the heart ache that goes with it.

a reply to: Bluesma

Thank you. It helps when you know other people can understand the pain. There isn't much I can compare it to without offending people.

a reply to: openyourmind1262

Yh that's pretty much what my mind was telling me all day yesterday and last night. I'm sure he is laughing at me because I'm upset and telling me "Stop being so silly and just know I'm happy" but he knew me well enough to know that it's hard for me to push past death because until I reach the other side it's like I don't know what comes next and have to wait to be with him. I actually told me granddad who has been gone for about six years that he better meet him at the gates when he gets up there and look after him which I'm sure he did, he was a massive dog lover.

a reply to: Benevolent Heretic

I remember reading it last year and actually having Playboy lying on the bottom of my bed. I rubbed him with my foot and had tears in my eye while reading it back then (as I am while writing these replies but it helps) and said to myself that it'll be hard for me when it comes and looked at him and just watched him sleep, in a non-creepy way. It's horrible that we lose pets so soon and trust me I've done nothing but cry though ranting was an idea I got when reading through this site and thought it'd be the perfect place to do it.

It helps when people are like minded and don't dismiss a pets death as nothing it helps.

a reply to: tikbalang

Yeah that's what I've been doing but the harder part is holding the screams and loud cries inside because of what might be thought. It's one of the worst parts about being back at home to take care of the parents (they're disabled now) having to hold that in until they've fallen to sleep is one of the harder parts but like I've said to someone else these comments are really helping.

a reply to: Dwoodward85

It's a brutal time for you. E-hug to you from all the animal lovers on ATS.

a reply to: texasgirl

I've just opened it in another tab while I reply to all the comments. I'll have a look at it in a few minutes and thanks for the site and the kind words.

a reply to: zazzafrazz

Thanks much appreciated. It's actually something that I could do with about now. I think that's one of the unfair things about being a grown up. When you're a kid you can cry and scream and break down in someone's arm but nowadays if an adult does it and from my experience more so if it's a bloke (which I am) you're looked at oddly but Midnight (the other dog) is here and willing to hug, for a treat that is lol so I'm getting what I can.

a reply to: starlitestarbrite

Yh I get that the pain never goes away just gets lesser until you remember it or do something for the anniversary of the death. The good thing is that I'm getting his ashes (cost 252 quid which is steep for my wallet) and I'm hoping much like his puppy dogs a few years back, having him back home even in ashes will help me move passed it but never forgetting.

a reply to: whyamIhere

So true. You won't be shocked to know that most of the sorry messages I'm getting are from my nieces and nephews more than adults. I think when it comes to death kids get to be rare about it, they get to show their emotion whatever side of the fence that emotion sits on but with adults we have to pretend we can cope and deal and then behind closed doors get to have our moment and you're more than right, it wouldn't be heaven without our dogs.

a reply to: BrianFlanders

Very true but I think I'm gonna take a break from dogs after this. I'm really only a dog person so I'm gonna take a break for a while. I think it's better for me. Losing my pets always feels like a kick to the marbles, I know it's the same for everyone but when it happens to whoever we always feel that its the worst because its happening to us. These comments do help and I know that with the help I'll get to the point that I can go outside without the fear of crying in front of people and working in a school with secondary kids as in teens would make that something I couldn't live down even if they were nice about it.

a reply to: Dwoodward85

One of the unique things we experience in life is love.. And the bond between a dog and a human is either based on love or fear..

It becomes our invisible friend we had when we were growing up, the one who always stood by us.. When we loose our best friend, a part of us die and all that is left are the moments of cherished memories.. We place a part of our soul in something that is not human and most of the times it's the capability to love something..

I think being there with our furry friends is the best way for them to pass. I hate the idea of them being alone (even though some prefer to sneak off). I held my car as she took her last breath a while back. It hurt, but she was free. I hope to hold my pups and cat I currently have when they pass. I think it's an honor.

And you obviously loved and honored your buddy. Hugs to you. It hurts, and leaves a hole. But our lives are better for the joy they bring into it!

originally posted by: Dwoodward85
a reply to: texasgirl

I've just opened it in another tab while I reply to all the comments. I'll have a look at it in a few minutes and thanks for the site and the kind words.

It really helped me to understand I wasn't to blame for what happened. I went through the grief stages, mostly guilt. Why didn't I catch her illness sooner? Why did I listen to my vet and wait to take her in when my gut told me she needed to get help NOW? (I ended up taking her to the Emergency Vet in the very early morning)

I was upset that I wasn't with her when she passed away. Oh, and the anger at myself for not having enough money to pay for all the expensive tests they did on her (I had to borrow from family). I then went through a paranoid stage. Maybe they thought I was a bad pet mom and she's really alive but they're hiding her from me. I was going crazy!!

This website showed me that what I was going through was normal. And that pet owners go through the same grief stages that people who lose family members go through (not taking away from family members: I lost both of my parents so I know how that feels, too) Losing a pet doesn't make it any less terrible.

Your Playboy was very lucky to have such a caring, wonderful person to be at his side in his last moments. My thoughts are with you.

a reply to: tikbalang

Very true. I'll be holding onto the good times and even the bad ones like a vice. I'll miss the bugger but I'm super glad that I got to share thirteen years of my life with him. Sometimes it's harder to realise that while we live a longish life our pets don't always get the same deal but I like to think he lived a good thirteen years and is reflecting on those thirteen years with a dog smile.