I'm at a complete LOSS! So angry and pissed off!

Majestic sorry this is "off" topic.

originally posted by: woodwardjnr

I try not to feel sorry for myself,

WoodWard
Hon you have earned the right to feel sorry for your self, just a little, promise? And I will be right there with you to wipe off those blessed tears.
Did you know all water is recycled? So one day some one will be swimming in, drinking or getting rained on by our tears.
I like the notion that our tears make the oceans salty. A lot of women crying for their sailors. I used to be one.

You are one brave "cookie"

originally posted by: WalkInSilence
Majestic sorry this is "off" topic.

originally posted by: woodwardjnr

I try not to feel sorry for myself,

WoodWard
Hon you have earned the right to feel sorry for your self, just a little, promise? And I will be right there with you to wipe off those blessed tears.
Did you know all water is recycled? So one day some one will be swimming in, drinking or getting rained on by our tears.
I like the notion that our tears make the oceans salty. A lot of women crying for their sailors. I used to be one.

You are one brave "cookie"

I am really glad you posted what you did.I thought this thread would just eventually just disappear...Wooward inspired me in ways I haven't experienced in a long long time.

It made me smile so big to see that someone else still cared enough to comment.

Of course you can feel sorry for yourself! Have a good cry. It really does help. (And, as my Mama used to say, "If you don't feel sorry for yourself, nobody else will!" with a twinkle in her eye.)
We instituted a "poor little me" day a few years ago. It's that day when nothing goes right and everywhere you turn someone is expecting you to do something....calls pile up...until you want to scream at the next person who even looks your way. You suddenly realize that you can't please everyone, can't possibly get everything done, so you sit, have a cup of something tasty and say, "Poor little me." and have a good cry. It might not last all day but just for a while you get to think about you and your wants/needs rather than thinking about what others need/want.

Majestic Thank you.
I hate social media, it fosters superficial self-centered behavior. It encourages us to disengage from actual physical life.
I detest FB, I don't even have a functioning e-mail.
I have found ATS to be different so this is where I am. This is a place where I can touch people beyond my every day busy life, another perspective.
Perhaps in twenty years we will be forerunners for "compassionate social media"
I may be wrong but this is a little magical universe.

And then again, some people like just to rant and disappear.

a reply to: diggindirt

Your post is appreciated...all input is..

I just hope you realize that the "poor me" thing shouldn't be directed at me.

I think you may have intended to reply to another poster.

I have never once felt like the "poor me".

I know too well how this world works.

The whole feeling sorry for ones self.....that has never been me.

originally posted by: WalkInSilence
Majestic Thank you.
I hate social media, it fosters superficial self-centered behavior. It encourages us to disengage from actual physical life.
I detest FB, I don't even have a functioning e-mail.
I have found ATS to be different so this is where I am. This is a place where I can touch people beyond my every day busy life, another perspective.
Perhaps in twenty years we will be forerunners for "compassionate social media"
I may be wrong but this is a little magical universe.

And then again, some people like just to rant and disappear.

You are the second person in the last few days that I have crossed paths with on ATS where I scratch my head and wonder why we haven't ever truly found each other on this forum before.....

So glad we actually crossed paths.

a reply to: diggindirt
Diggin you need an avatar.

That is an ingenious idea. February would be a good time.
Oh I do celebrate poor me moments. In private of course, with a good friend or a box of cookies or a windy afternoon at church or in the woods, just solitude.
When I sailed, I would go out on the bow and scream at the darn sea and waddle back all emptied of bad feelings.

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric

So glad we actually crossed paths.

So am I, now perhaps we can wonder together for a time.
I do hope things are easier for you now with more help.

originally posted by: kwakakev
a reply to: NewzNose

To me the daughter sounded like a remarkable woman who had to carry a large burden. Being a carer can be a similar role to being a slave as someone becomes more dependent in there needs. The responsibility and sadness of of watching a parent die is what it is. The processes of dying is sad, it is beyond the carers role to fix the person needing support. They can only help make things a bit smoother until that day comes.

I am not saying the daughter is perfect, no one is. In caring for her mother she found an acceptance of death and I do not see anything wrong with that. In some crazy mixed up way maybe it is a good thing she does get locked up and now have someone care for her. She deserves a holiday.

did you not read the entire post? she STARVED her mother. She should be on death row for that abuse.

a reply to: sarra1833

I purposely refused to comment on that post for a reason....too sick and deranged to even go near to for me.

My only hope is that the post wasn't read very carefully.

fingers crossed that is the case.

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric
Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to imply that anyone was seeking pity. But I do know that sometimes that's all that is left to do that won't further damage relationships. Yell or cry.
Yep, won't help the situation as it stands. That's how the world works but it might make one feel better to share the downright discouragement we feel when people don't act as we suppose they will---like decent human beings. I find that it also clears the mind and sometimes, not always, but sometimes allows us to see paths that we didn't notice before.
I do truly hope that things are looking brighter for you now and you're getting the help you need and your mother-in-law is as well. One of the things you might want to check into is local support groups. Our hospital sponsors one that meets once a month. We were helped immensely by just talking with folks and getting suggestions for ways to handle the unexpected effects of stroke. Our doc didn't bother to even mention rehab to my Beloved---just sent him home from the hospital. For me it was a shocker because I'd never dealt with a stroke patient and had no idea what to expect. Each case is different but you'll be making discoveries about the after-effects for years.
For instance, my Beloved's first stroke caused him to not be able to "see" things on his left. The pathways were eventually rebuilt but that is very disturbing when you aren't told to expect it. Another issue was his lack of impulse control---a man who had been a perfect gentleman changed dramatically. Things that came out of his mouth post-stroke would never, ever have escaped his lips prior to that brain injury. It took months of counseling to help him get back to being himself. All because a tiny clot, about the size of a BB.
These are the things that people who have been through the recovery process can help with, things that the doc and medical staff don't see because they don't spend any time with the patient.

a reply to: WalkInSilence
I've chosen not to have an avatar because the handle signifies more than actual dirt. But I do love the actual dirt too. Spend nearly 30 years diggin' and teaching college courses and public education courses on how to do it in a proper manner. Now I stick to the gardens unless someone has a quick and dirty salvage job that needs to get done. I'm mostly just a volunteer now. Health issues of family members come before a job.
But locally I'm also known for diggin' up dirt when local government got corrupt about two decades ago. Exposure to the light of day put the entire country government out of office and a few in jail. That experience taught me that a few dedicated people willing to spend a ton of time and effort can bring about change for the better.

No amount of "stiff upper lip" can help one feel better like a "poor little me" day with some fine chocolate and beverage of choice. Or just a walk to the back of the farm, to sit in the woods and watch the critters. I find that works much better than ingesting the chemicals that are handed out by medical people.

a reply to: sarra1833

I did read the post and there is heaps I do not know about this case. How do you know the mother was just not hungry? Did the daughter even have enough money for food? Why did the father or anyone else not intervene sooner if serious abuse was taking place?

I am not in a position to judge by someones emotional statement at an emotional time.

Magestic I hope all is good?

Sit down by the fire and know you are part of something bigger than...hay pick your universe.
I trust you are well.
WIS

a reply to: WalkInSilence

Your timing couldn't have been better if I wished for it.

You just reminded me why I should stay out the negative topics on this site.lol

Man, I just wasted so much of my energy today for nothing.

Thanks for posting here and sort of bringing me back to an issue that actually means something to me.

Much obliged.
Yeah wasting time gets me too. I have become a recluse not wanting to hear people complain about the same thing over and over again with out seeking a solution.
And I have made a point of not engaging in futile arguments on the board.

I gather your in law situation has improved?
Nice Avatar by the way.

originally posted by: WalkInSilence
Much obliged.
Yeah wasting time gets me too. I have become a recluse not wanting to hear people complain about the same thing over and over again with out seeking a solution.
And I have made a point of not engaging in futile arguments on the board.

I gather your in law situation has improved?
Nice Avatar by the way.

I wish it had improved but, sadly...no.

I had wishful thinking for sure...it just didn't pan out the way I hoped it would.

Doesn't mean I won't still help out. I will.... just only on my terms.


My husbands family is just the absolute worst of all families.....too selfish for words to even describe.

I actually feel a bit of sorrow for them all....

I am sorry to hear things are less than perfect. And I am sorry I was so late to respond.

Come and sit in the igloo and tell a story of how you would like life to be.

originally posted by: WalkInSilence
I am sorry to hear things are less than perfect. And I am sorry I was so late to respond.

Come and sit in the igloo and tell a story of how you would like life to be.

No worries at all. I figured this thread was dead in the water so thanks for coming back.

Life how I would like for it to be will never happen. lol

I would like everyone to truly care about everyone else...It will never happen.

I guess as long as I keep caring, that should be all that matters in this moment right?

I showed up at my mother-in-law's today and before we started her exercises, she handed me a gift bag and had barely handed it to me before she started crying.

She said how grateful she was that I cared so much and that I seemed to be the only one that was willing to help her.

She bought me a truly wonderful and thoughtful gift that I appreciate. I just wish she knew that she didn't have to do it. I'm helping her because I actually care and want to help.

It's hard for me to understand people being any other way but, I'm not so naive that I don't get it. It just makes me sad sometimes.

Magestic a big bear hug to you.

What you express for your world is I think a universal longing. Could we all just figure this out and live in peace.
The world becomes so harsh though when this is our only focus. Do you know what I mean?

Getting along. I make a point of not being a pleaser wasted to many years in that camp. You must find things that keep you alive so you have the strength to help your in-law.
If you wish to seize to discuss this further let me know, I don't want to bug you.


PS. I apologize for consistently misspelling your name, I just noticed it. so rude.