Where to Find Love?

Hello ATS, everyone is on a journey in life. Whether that journey is in search of the dollar bill, truth, or love. I am on a quest for that very last one and in fact, from my own peers there is no one. People seem to find love everywhere, online, bars, parties. Which is the way to true love? To the perfect man or woman. Now, perfection is subjective. For me personally innocence, kindness, beauty and similar tastes in music are important. Yet, I say that and that is not the definition of the perfect woman. It's impossible to describe just what you would love, just as it is impossible to say why you love someone. Sure you can list out plenty of reasons, but the truth is, those reasons are just the tip of the iceberg. At a future date I'll create thread for love stories for everyone to share, whether those relationships worked out doesn't matter. The moments, the intent. That matters. But ultimately where can one find love? Sorry for my rambling. I haven't slept in a while and I really have no clue where to look for someone.

I don't know.
Maybe you just need to rest.

I think when the time is right...it just comes...
It does hurt to be lonely.

Can your friends or family not fill that "void" of lonely for some time?

I'm sorry, I feel like you are hurting and wish I had some words or could help but, I'm afraid that I can't.

I wish you luck on your quest for companionship!

Step 1. Stop looking. Really.

a reply to: TNMockingbird
I only hurt when I think of what I've lost...and what I've lost is so much. I like thinking about the memories because they can make me happy, but I linger with them too long. After two months, only now is it having an emotional effect on me. But I am over her, though if I were given the chance I'd try again. Friends and family, yes they can. Love them all. And I have to say ATS is also a great filler. I suppose you're right. When it's time it'll happen. You've helped. Conversation, even a single message or reply is plenty. I'll have to find some sort of way to get it out of me.

a reply to: schuyler
You may very well be right. The last love was found while not searching. I still love the story of it. Best love story ever if I do say so myself.

a reply to: Tiamat384

Perhaps, you should tell it.

Telling of it and "talking" through things is sometimes healing...?

a reply to: Tiamat384

I would suggest:

1. Sleep
2. Classes
3.Dating websites but be picky. If you know what you want tthat is a good starting point.
4. Friends of friends of Friends, even.

In answer to a qusstion in your previous post me and nonspecific have been together for 4.5 years. Met on plenty of fish. Spoke for 2 weeks, had 3 dates and moved in within 10 days of our first date.

We are open and honest with each other. Neither of us do anything we don't want to do. We are 2 independent people who also happen to be a couple. Nonspecific is at times not the easiest person to live with, and we did not have a very smooth 3.5 year's due to various external factor. Only now we have our own space in the past 15 months would i say we have flourished, although both of us still have a long way to go.

If you don't focus on it and work on being happy on your own terms it might surprise you were your one of a possibility of many "true" loves come from.

Be patient and kind to yourself and you never know.

a reply to: Tiamat384

You get used to being alone. And then its all you can be. I wouldn't be with anyone now. Too late for me. Too long alone and I've just become wretched.

a reply to: MrsNonSpecific
Yes sleep is needed and classes of course. I go to parties over the weekend with friends sometimes when I'm around (sometimes I go back home to see the amazing person that raised me) and well, not there. No love there. You guys (hope that word is fine) seem great. 10 days after the first date, wow that's fast. You must have really hit it off Happy for you two! Dating websites, I almost want to ask what's recommended Besides that where you two met. Very true, patience. Ah, but it's so nice to love, to show that love as much as possible (in ways that are possible with a very low budget like random giving of flowers and poetry) and to be loved. Oh and hugs. And seeing the person smile. That's heaven for me. All of it.

a reply to: TNMockingbird
I actually do want to tell it. It wouldn't be too short. But it's interesting

When 'looking' for love the best thing you can do is follow your own passion and the light your create will attract that person to you. Focus on what you love and love will find you.

a reply to: Tiamat384
As Schuyler said. Stop looking. When you're truly ready, love will find you when you least expect it.

For me personally innocence, kindness, beauty and similar tastes in music are important.

Innocence? Seriously? Can you define what you mean by that? Naivete or without guilt?

a reply to: laminatedsoul
Hmm you see I don't think that, no matter how long I'm alone (hopefully not too long :/) I will always want to be with someone. I want to be a husband, a father! I've thought about this for a while. Last year, last year of High School, AP Biology teacher gave some survey about us at the beginning of the year, it was stupid, but one of the questions was "What do you want to be in the future" and I put that I want to be a dad. That is my absolute number one goal, and husband. Though I have mixed feelings on marriage.

a reply to: Klassified
By innocence, I'll be honest. That is very difficult to define. I'm not sure there is a complete definition.

a reply to: Metallicus
Well, then at this very moment that means catching up on some work and hmm, trying to write. Something. Be myself. Take control.

a reply to: Tiamat384

It's every where.

Where to find your love?

Start by loving who you are, and feeling your power.

You are you after all, you have gone through what you have.

Your one will see it, believe in you.

Cheers

If I may - I think it may be a little early after the breakdown of your last relationship for you to try and find someone new.

From your posts, you still sound vulnerable and perhaps a little too eager to find someone to fill the void in your life.

In your situation, it might be better for you to have a little 'me' time and gradually get to know yourself and what you want. To see who you are as a complete person rather than half of a couple. By taking that time you could, perhaps, save yourself and someone else an unhappy encounter.

You can find ways to cope with the loneliness and learn not to depend on someone else for your happiness, but it can take a little practice

Difficult to understand why you feel the need to have an avatar which in itself is clearly odd considering your gender....

a reply to: Treespeaker

Thanks for that. You know. I think I will bring focus on me. Not in the selfish way, but self love.

a reply to: Iamnotadoctor

I don't understand. What's odd? It represents what I believe. Not the shallow depths of skin.