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originally posted by: KyoZero
Ok lots to respond to....and I swear I am so lost...been on ATS years now and cannot multi-quote
So here is my best effort
Notmyrealname
Fine and I 100% support you in that. If flamboyant, macho, religious overbearing, etc isn't for you I am totally ok with that. You didn't specifically say it (or I miss it) but that's my point. If someone is acting flamboyant, macho, etc...why should you (generic you) let it bother you? More to the point why let it get to you (generic you) in a rage to where you are flying off the handle? To me that is a sign of an issue that someone like Caitlyn or whoever does something that has no direct and measurable effect on a person...and yet that person loses their mind over it. Don't like the news? I don't. I turn it off and move on.
Here is a point I think I missed earlier. I swear sometimes people specifically let themselves get into it on purpose when they know darn well they could ignore it. It's like when someone decides to leave ATS or another forum and just has to leave that last thread about how ATS went to hell, etc. If ATS is that bad (it totally isn't) then just go. I guess I don't get it.
thanks for responding
Here is a point I think I missed earlier. I swear sometimes people specifically let themselves get into it on purpose when they know darn well they could ignore it. It's like when someone decides to leave ATS or another forum and just has to leave that last thread about how ATS went to hell, etc. If ATS is that bad (it totally isn't) then just go. I guess I don't get it.
originally posted by: Mousygretchen
is your name a reference to dir en grey?
originally posted by: notmyrealname
originally posted by: FyreByrd
originally posted by: notmyrealname
….
Those are all matters of your perception of other peoples behavior which you can't change - but you can control how much time you want to waste on it.
The behaviors make you uncomfortable - acknowledge and move on - life's short and ain't nobody going to change so that you are more comfortable.
Buddhist Story:
A wandering monk, barefooted, wandering through towns and the wild for years. Someone gave him a piece of leather and he quickly discovered that if he laid out the leather over the rough ground his feet didn't work. He began collecting and laying out leather along is path, would gather up then lay out, over and over and over again. It was exhausting work but his feet did feel better. He finally became so tired that he just sat down on his leathers to rest and mediate. Day after day he rested - was it to be exhaustion or sore and bloody feet?
It came to him, the solution: wrap the leather about his feet. In joy and comfort the monk wandered many more happy years.
Why cover the world with leather to protect your 'sensibilities' when you can learn to cover your feet and be comfortable everywhere. The point to life - methinks.
Okay, nice story however, it does not seem to be applicable. If a child is spoiled and acting like it, the normal reaction for all around would be frustration.
In this case, is it my fault for not being tolerant?!
Again I will repeat loud and clear....If you, yours, property, etc are physically attacked, robbed, mugged, assaulted, or hell, even verbally threatened, you have every right to get pissed, defend, whatever.
But one thing I absolutely support is freedom of thought, expression and speech so long as it is not inciting violence. You think Caitlyn Jenner is a freak and a man? You think marriage equality will destroy the nation? Fine. I think you are 100% wrong...but you are free to say/think so. This is a public world where private thoughts can surf the web all day.
originally posted by: FyreByrd
A child have a tantrum because they are not getting what they want is the very definition of 'self-centered' and 'childish' - and giving them your attention just reenforces the behavoir - that's how we get self-centered adults. One of the ways.
Two friends, two examples of 'modeling' adult behavoir. One huge tantrum in a grocery, my friend leaves her cart (she is an adult and knows that her child is the priority) removes the child, sits down outside with him until the tantrum subsides on it's own. She is loving and supportive but not allowing her self to be sucked into his drama. There was never another tantrum.
Next a five year old in a pool refusing to get out. Mom jumps in the pool fully clothed (an adult again who can put aside their wants for the moment to teach) and physically pulls the child out.
The common behavior both parents exhibited was the ability to put aside their own 'wants' for the benefit of their childs. Rather then the 'quick' fix of giving in (which a lot of parents do) and reenforcing the unsocial behavoirs.
originally posted by: KyoZero
FyreByrd
100% accurate and thank you for pointing out my missing piece! Yes self defense is so much more effective when the defender has the ability to think coherently due to training or some inherent ability. I have neither :-)
I suppose there is always those few moments of rare self-preservation where a person blanks out and defeats Hulk Hogan for the WWF Heavyweight Championship in a ladder match...but otherwise I absolutely agree that rational approach, if possible, is preferred. Well done pointing that out.
dogstar23
Thank you kindly. Obviously I am in complete agreement. I do of course recognize, as I already have, that things that do directly effect you should be dealt with but then FyreByrd turned my world upside down, and very well, by pointing out that even examples I stated such as the ACA or some other policy that hits you directly should be dealt with rationally. Thanks for the reply.
WeAreAWAKE
...which was promptly followed by...
But one thing I absolutely support is freedom of thought, expression and speech so long as it is not inciting violence. You think Caitlyn Jenner is a freak and a man? You think marriage equality will destroy the nation? Fine. I think you are 100% wrong...but you are free to say/think so. This is a public world where private thoughts can surf the web all day.
I didn't "accidentally" or purposefully leave anything out at all. I get the feeling you're hoping I will say that "straight, white, CIS, etc are evil and only us LGBTer's are of value." Not even close. Again, freedom of speech and thought are practically my most highly-regarded values. I don't care who you are, what your class or status is, or who you decide to sleep with, up to and including hetero and christian marriages.
But allow me to revise. Yes I absolutely agree that we here is the rainbow brigade are not innocent. The feminist camp, which I support fully, is not innocent. I will always argue that not every male is a lecherous fool. Not every male wants to rape, assault, take. I have and probably will again see women posting questions or support for how to charge and convict a man of rape even though in their post they say they were never touched. I do not support any member of any coalition asking for anything other than equality and a standard and equal platform to jump from. Beyond leaving that platform, our choices are ours SO LONG AS we have TRULY been given an actual and legitimate equal launch pad.
I well appreciate your comments. By this point in my post I am reversing my opinion. Maybe you were not looking to goad me into a trap of an answer. But you know what? I'm leaving my remarks there as my proof to at least myself of my imperfection and my attempt towards civility...I make mistakes
Thanks!