"Don't make me slap you..." and other stupid ideas

I hug.

Usually with bricks.

a reply to: KyoZero

Pretty remarkable rant if you ask me.....

It took me many years to get the whole 'other don't make you feel anything...' and I had to work at it. The problem was that I actually believed and acted on (sigh) what I was thinking as though it were truth and not a justification.

I had to cut though the distractions and really look at myself and my thinking. Another 'anger management' teacher/facilitator/whatever finally was able to get across the idea of 'keeping to my own side of the street', so to speak. That was a huge and ongoing revelation with many setbacks alone the way (ATS being a notable one).

I had to believe the concept first, then not act out the anger and only then could I replace the angry thoughts with something else (like gratitude for the opportunity to practice patience) and I function better in the world and feel like an elephant is off my back.

Great rant -

Oppps

originally posted by: hefficide
This subject actually hits really close to home because my sisters husband of 15 years is now named Rebekka and is undergoing gender reassignment. So this is an issue that I really do have to deal with in reality. FTR Rebekka is not happy at all that I still think of her by her male name. But after sixteen or seventeen years of knowing that person, that's just who they are to me. God bless that she is now Rebekka, but she was once NOT Rebekka.

At least you got your pronouns right.

I am not gay nor to I care what someone's sexuality is. That being said, I am not a big fan of overly flamboyant behavior. It is an act and it makes me uncomfortable just as sitting with an overtly 'tough-guy' persona would. If people would stop acting to draw attention to their sexuality and stop purposefully pretending to have a certain voice or lack of wrist muscles, maybe more people would find it easier to accept.

BTW, I feel the same way about people's religious beliefs; all are fine with me until you overtly flaunt it in my face to the point that it cannot be ignored.

...once again, just my $0.02 worth - adjust this for inflation and ATS owes me about $0.97 cents….

a reply to: beezzer

I need chainsaw massacre hug or more like fatal brutal

I hear hugs go $98 an hour these days? u do those?

I find it interesting the perspectives on your rant that are being discussed.

Most talk about the example you used. Then there is a subset that's explaining why 'people' anger them and all of us. But few see the personal responsibility angle in being responsible for your own thoughts, words and actions. It makes me aware of how trapped I can be by my beliefs, my likes and dislikes.

If I'm obsessing about some perceived 'slight or harm' I have to move my thoughts elsewhere - and this is your point, in my opinion, only I have the power to do that. Nine times out of ten, probably more, the person I'm pissed at isn't trying to kill me with their car, or cut in front at the grocery or heaven forbid have 11 items in the express lane, they are just like me distracted by life and self-centered.

originally posted by: Layaly
a reply to: beezzer

I need chainsaw massacre hug or more like fatal brutal

I hear hugs go $98 an hour these days? u do those?

Yes, but no tongue.

That's extra.

originally posted by: notmyrealname
I am not gay nor to I care what someone's sexuality is. That being said, I am not a big fan of overly flamboyant behavior. It is an act and it makes me uncomfortable just as sitting with an overtly 'tough-guy' persona would. If people would stop acting to draw attention to their sexuality and stop purposefully pretending to have a certain voice or lack of wrist muscles, maybe more people would find it easier to accept.

BTW, I feel the same way about people's religious beliefs; all are fine with me until you overtly flaunt it in my face to the point that it cannot be ignored.

...once again, just my $0.02 worth - adjust this for inflation and ATS owes me about $0.97 cents….

Those are all matters of your perception of other peoples behavior which you can't change - but you can control how much time you want to waste on it.

The behaviors make you uncomfortable - acknowledge and move on - life's short and ain't nobody going to change so that you are more comfortable.

Buddhist Story:

A wandering monk, barefooted, wandering through towns and the wild for years. Someone gave him a piece of leather and he quickly discovered that if he laid out the leather over the rough ground his feet didn't work. He began collecting and laying out leather along is path, would gather up then lay out, over and over and over again. It was exhausting work but his feet did feel better. He finally became so tired that he just sat down on his leathers to rest and mediate. Day after day he rested - was it to be exhaustion or sore and bloody feet?

It came to him, the solution: wrap the leather about his feet. In joy and comfort the monk wandered many more happy years.

Why cover the world with leather to protect your 'sensibilities' when you can learn to cover your feet and be comfortable everywhere. The point to life - methinks.

a reply to: FyreByrd

my mum got pissed of at her mum and drove her over with her car.,

mum felt so bad..

truth is I laughed so hard cause her mum sucks! I though finally! good on u mum..

it just happened so is fresh in my head..

her mum said her recent wedding (my mum just had) was #.. I didnt go cause I live on the other side of the world but who does that
same night same woman told her other daughter's boyfriend to go and fudge himself..

my mum in wedding dress chucked a hissy fit at her mum. now her little step sister and her boyfriend live with her.. totally wrong country too..

meh

slap that biaxch I say

a reply to: beezzer

god u are so hilarious..

ok I only got a $1 left.. maybe a bunny ear lick or a drag of that fag afterwards?

much respect Sir .. I am just a collage kid paying my way

a reply to: Layaly

For a dollar?

Okay.

a reply to: KyoZero

Such an interesting, twisted presentation.

My urges are if you have to flaunt your sexuality, I want to slap you.

You see, I like to take a page from the PC reader (if there is one) and it says or should say, to flaunt your sexuality, looks, money, job, status, hair style, family history nationality, and favorite dog breed is being aggressive to anyone within distance of knowing your words and you should been shunned...maybe even slapped.

I rest my case.

originally posted by: FyreByrd

originally posted by: notmyrealname
….

Those are all matters of your perception of other peoples behavior which you can't change - but you can control how much time you want to waste on it.

The behaviors make you uncomfortable - acknowledge and move on - life's short and ain't nobody going to change so that you are more comfortable.

Buddhist Story:

A wandering monk, barefooted, wandering through towns and the wild for years. Someone gave him a piece of leather and he quickly discovered that if he laid out the leather over the rough ground his feet didn't work. He began collecting and laying out leather along is path, would gather up then lay out, over and over and over again. It was exhausting work but his feet did feel better. He finally became so tired that he just sat down on his leathers to rest and mediate. Day after day he rested - was it to be exhaustion or sore and bloody feet?

It came to him, the solution: wrap the leather about his feet. In joy and comfort the monk wandered many more happy years.

Why cover the world with leather to protect your 'sensibilities' when you can learn to cover your feet and be comfortable everywhere. The point to life - methinks.

Okay, nice story however, it does not seem to be applicable. If a child is spoiled and acting like it, the normal reaction for all around would be frustration. In this case, is it my fault for not being tolerant?! What about the adult that acts like a child on purpose to elicit a response and then gets offended when they get the natural response? At which time should we have some respect for those around us? Does being a minority exclude one from acting like an adult? I am not talking about something that is physical in nature nor am I talking about a sexuality issue here. I have gay neighbors whom are friends. They do not feel the need to throw "I'm Gay' in my face every time we talk. I am talking about the people who purposefully draw undue attention to themselves because they know it is not currently correct for anyone (employer bystander etc.) to say something about their contrived and fake behavior. If I was working and found it important to try to 'act macho' with everything I did, I am sure my employer would have a chat with me about it. HOWEVER… if I am gay and exhibit the same behavior, it is not allowed to speak about it. This is the BS that makes issues for many and promotes disassociation. If unity were to be possible, people should just act like themselves and be treated that way eventually (and no acting like a living Barbie doll is not acting naturally).

Sure, it may take time however change usually does; ramming it down everyone's throat is not the way to make change. Just act naturally and all will eventually be fine.

a reply to: KyoZero

I suggest you get a generous size tote bag...put all your stuff in it...then when walking from your car to your destination...all will be in place...you won't drop anything and be on your merry way.

originally posted by: Aliensun
a reply to: KyoZero

Such an interesting, twisted presentation.

My urges are if you have to flaunt your sexuality, I want to slap you.

Good luck. There's people like me that will definitely want a word.

You see, I like to take a page from the PC reader (if there is one) and it says or should say, to flaunt your sexuality, looks, money, job, status, hair style, family history nationality, and favorite dog breed is being aggressive to anyone within distance of knowing your words and you should been shunned...maybe even slapped.

I rest my case.

If that is your feeling may I recommend a solitary life. There's REAL people out there and they may not fit in with your "reality".

a reply to: KyoZero

Why do you (again...generic you) let Caitlyn's change bother you?

The change doesnt bother me as such but the cynic in me has a hard time dismissing the Kardashian angle .

originally posted by: beezzer
a reply to: Layaly

For a dollar?

Okay.

Oh my....

Dirty deeds done dirt cheap.

a reply to: CranialSponge

I may be cheap, but I'm also easy-. . . wait, what?

Ok lots to respond to....and I swear I am so lost...been on ATS years now and cannot multi-quote

So here is my best effort

FyreByrd - I am a therapist. I teach Anger Management every week. And Every 8 weeks (length of the course) I see people come in and say "It's never my fault" (so to speak) and some by the end have taken a moment and thought..."I LET that person piss me off....it's a control issue" and it really is. People demean others all the time. And no doubt it can be hard to let go. But I just don't care what they think of me. But that's beside my main point. In this case as with many, some star does something or a religious person says something or someone gay does something and people flip out even though it did not personally have an effect on them. I always stick to the truth in issues of harm. If a person physically threatens you, yours, your property or so forth then you mount your defense as best you can. I will never question that

But nobody gets to decide what and who makes me angry.

Notmyrealname

Fine and I 100% support you in that. If flamboyant, macho, religious overbearing, etc isn't for you I am totally ok with that. You didn't specifically say it (or I miss it) but that's my point. If someone is acting flamboyant, macho, etc...why should you (generic you) let it bother you? More to the point why let it get to you (generic you) in a rage to where you are flying off the handle? To me that is a sign of an issue that someone like Caitlyn or whoever does something that has no direct and measurable effect on a person...and yet that person loses their mind over it. Don't like the news? I don't. I turn it off and move on.

Here is a point I think I missed earlier. I swear sometimes people specifically let themselves get into it on purpose when they know darn well they could ignore it. It's like when someone decides to leave ATS or another forum and just has to leave that last thread about how ATS went to hell, etc. If ATS is that bad (it totally isn't) then just go. I guess I don't get it.

thanks for responding

Aliensun

Here is my next sorry-not-sorry moment

"being aggressive?" Really? No...aggressive is spitting venom, threatening, laying hands, assaulting, etc. Aggressive is a man attacking another man for being gay OR for being straight...yeah it has happened. Aggressive is a move towards abuse/violence. If some douchenozzle walks into the bar I go to flashing his stack around...who...cares...It doesn't make a difference in my life. Because I am comfortable with who I am and don't need to be reassured that just because some macho guy is acting extra macho, it does NOT effect me if I do not let it...period. Someone flaunting their hairstyle is aggressive? wow...I just don't even know how to respond to that except to say that the statement perfectly fits what I am getting at.

Again I will repeat loud and clear....If you, yours, property, etc are physically attacked, robbed, mugged, assaulted, or hell, even verbally threatened, you have every right to get pissed, defend, whatever.

But flaunting something...I don't get how that can be aggressive. It may be some feeble and pathetic attempt at social aggression but this is precisely the scenario I am writing about...you have to make YOUR decision. Get over it...heck if anything move past it and realize that YOU are the bigger person. THAT is a major victory to let them know they had not a drop of power or control over you. Let them get to you...you lose...they win...period

Caladonea

I have my bag ready for tomorrow! Can't wait to show myself up

Hutch622

Absolutely...I think the Kardashians are a waste of space and more importantly valuable media/news time. So I click off, read a book, or find my news elsewhere

To everyone

Make no mistake friends...I am not saying Kyo is the master of his anger...far from it. If anything, this thread shows how bad of a frustration/irritation/anger issue I do have

I am just merely taking a stand to stomp it out where it isn't necessary

Don't think of it like choosing your battles...think of it like choosing to just be you

There is your victory...everyone else may try to get under your skin but only you have the power to give them that access