"Don't make me slap you..." and other stupid ideas

I was working with my anger management clients today and someone brought up this line "Don't make me slap you..."

Thanks to that line I have now realized how stupid I am and how stupid others are too

Oh yeah....Kyo is picking on everyone today

Let's start with me. The idea of don't make me slap you is so ludicrous that is just drives me up a wall. Only I can decide if something makes me angry enough to cause harm to others.

I don't by the way...I don't hit or yell at people...I do other stupid crap....here it is. I've come to realize that individuals are very often the cause or exacerbation to many of their problems when it comes to petty stuff. Now people who are abused, victimized, assaulted, etc are not in this category. I am talking about the following example and how thought and preparation can help you avoid being inappropriately angry, offended, upset, etc.

Every....single...day...I pull up to my office. I park the car and take out the key...then the lunacy begins. I generally have several items to carry in with me. My bag, water bottle, cars keys, office keys (have to be separate), wallet, cell phone and sometimes a breakfast and/or lunch for the day. That's a lot of stuff. I grab it all and every once in a while I drop something. Now my situation is ten times worse because I am juggling stuff AND have to bend over and pick up what I just dropped.

Know what my response is? I get angry...at the keys...that I dropped...because I am stupid. So tomorrow when I get to work I am taking 30 seconds to pocket or bag what I can. I bet you that 30 seconds of preparation will solve so many irrelevant and pointless issues.

So what does my stupidity have to do with others? Well let me tell you. This is going to be one of those sorry-not-sorry posts so....deal

I look around all day, and without picking out names...myself included...people are so angry, offended, hurt, upset, frustrated with pointless crap. I am going to carry on a new experiment of my own and begin by telling you my bias out front

I AM in the LGBT community. I am pan. I love me some men, women, trans, asexual...don't care. My experiences are varied and thoroughly enjoyable. So yes I support Caitlyn Jenner. Yes I support LGBT right, gender rights, race/class/status equality and so-called gay marriage.

So there I have cleared the air.

But one thing I absolutely support is freedom of thought, expression and speech so long as it is not inciting violence. You think Caitlyn Jenner is a freak and a man? You think marriage equality will destroy the nation? Fine. I think you are 100% wrong...but you are free to say/think so. This is a public world where private thoughts can surf the web all day. My problem lies in this one question...Why do you (again...generic you) let Caitlyn's change bother you? Why does it matter if two men marry, have sex, and competently raise a child when sociological study shows that there will be no damage to the child based solely on the gender of parents? Granted abuse/neglect is possible...but then...it is with hetero parents too.

The best part is that people will crap all over Caitlyn's transformation then immediately follow it with "though to be honest I really don't care what she does." Then why are you here posting how wrong it is. Bull crap you don't care. But again...why do you let it bother you? It comes back to the number one basic principle of anger management (bear in mind I am not attempting to suggest anyone here has anger problems...just like the principle)

YOU are the only person who has a say in what you let anger you. Let that sink in. Hate Caitlyn Jenner? Ok fine...that's well and good. Let it go. Nothing she has done has personally affected you. If it has...please let me know. Did she come to your house and flash your family? Did she hold you up at gun point and tell you to declare acceptance for trans rights or I kill you family? If she did...holy crap...call the police.

Otherwise...we as a society...again...myself included...have GOT to relax and learn how to let it flow off you like a water off a ducks wings.

I think people like WBS are the worst people ever but they haven't affected me one bit. When they show up at a PRIDE parade with their signs I see so many people laughing it up and realizing how sad they must be as people. Again...if something directly and TRULY affects you...then do something about it. Obama screwing up health insurance might well affect you. Do something. Bush's war might have affected you. Do something.

But Caitlyn transforming into a woman...I just can't accept that it has some personal and direct/real effect on you, me or anyone but her. If it DOES have such a strong effect on you I have to ask..is your foundation THAT shaky and built on sand that someone's personal life causes you to fly off into a rage and call society ruined? Because the part that bothers me the most is when people talk about how it ruins society..how. The media is covering it over war, famine, drought, disease, corruption? Yeah they are...but let me ask you...whose fault is it really? ABC/CSPAN/FOX/etc or the people who choose daily to gobble it up and care more about the Jenners than ISIS? Sure media is culpable but if people truly wanted a widespread change and completely ignored the news that mostly reports tabloids, then revenue would disappear and they would either make a change or perish.

That's what I am getting at. YOU (and me) are the only one who can decide what causes us sorrow short of being specifically victimized or again victimized by society/policy (again...like my policy example of the Affordable Care Act...etc)

Thanks y'all....and no I am certainly no sorry...mostly because I am just as guilty...not just about dropped keys...but letting external and unrelated events mess my day up

Kyo is taking his stand

a reply to: KyoZero

Has Kyo had a bad day?

Here sit down and have a drink

The violation of expectation sets and fear of change... a volatile combination in a rapidly changing society. Gender and race roles have been taboo subjects for a very long time ( at least to those of us who aren't millennials ) and the flood gates have rather rapidly opened on both subjects - in some positive and also in some very destructive ways. The SJW movement sounds off against the highly Conservative movement, leaving those of us in the middle not only lacking a voice, but feeling overwhelmed and confused about almost all of it.

Confusion sets off a violation of expectation sets and demonstrates change - thus backlash.

Personally I think of Bruce Jenner as Bruce Jenner. If he is now a Kaitlyn ( sp? ) - I have no opinion either way, other than the fact that my mental card catalog is always going to reference "Bruce" and the sports years automatically. It's just how the information was inputted and processed and you know what they say about us old dogs.

a reply to: KyoZero

Our Chief Constable is The Biz. www.gloucestercitizen.co.uk...

Ms Davenport, who is head of Gloucestershire Police, received huge cheers and applause after telling the crowds that she is gay.

She said: “It is not tattooed on my forehead but I don’t hide it either.

I wouldn't mind if she did tattoo it on her forehead. She's a great Chief Constable and that's what matters.

a reply to: flammadraco

Actually this is an amazing day!

But...can I still have that drink?

I don't slap, I throttle.

a reply to: hefficide

but ya know what though? Look at your entire response just now. We disagree...who got angry/belligerent? nobody. Only Heff decides what upsets Heff...and to me that is the mark of maturity and reality

Me? I am still learning it...but now that I am practicing it I am finding myself more at ease

a reply to: intrepid

And you shall be Weapon X!

originally posted by: KyoZero
a reply to: intrepid

And you shall be Weapon X!

Awesome.

I see your point but really, there is a vocal minority out there. Society has moved on and these few slackers make a helluva lot of noise but little traction. The silent majority has sway.

a reply to: intrepid

I really wish you weren't right about that...but you so are

Honestly this is a lot about myself. This whole thing but it's just so....ugh

a reply to: KyoZero

Let's start with me. The idea of don't make me slap you is so ludicrous that is just drives me up a wall. Only I can decide if something makes me angry enough to cause harm to others.

Yes. Yes, yes, YES!!! This is precisely what I was trying to communicate to the housemate last night, who is getting his blood pressure up over extraneous things that really should have no bearing on his emotional state, but do simply because he chooses to allow them to. He is literally allowing the actions of other people to affect his health and physical well-being. And, truly, giving said people power over him that they otherwise would not have the capacity to wield.

I love your entire post, but this part is just brilliant. Thank you for posting, seriously. I immediately decided that I am choosing to allow your words to make my entire day. Rock on!

originally posted by: KyoZero
a reply to: intrepid

I really wish you weren't right about that...but you so are...

I think you misunderstood my post. The "silent majority" are those that accept EVERYONE'S rights. And I DO believe that is most today.

a reply to: KyoZero

as long as you do exacerbate the situation by dropping things in that 30 seconds!

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

then it will be stupid fffffing bag!

a reply to: intrepid

oh...well dang...ok I get your point now...Thanks for clarifying.

a reply to: KyoZero

Actually we don't disagree at all. I'm all for individual freedom and choice. If anything my subconscious point was probably something along the lines of "I'm OK with whatever another person does, but they need to be OK with how I process it - as long as my processing isn't demeaning or insulting to them". And in my book, referring to Bruce Jenner as Bruce Jenner shouldn't demean the person she is now. If that makes sense.

This subject actually hits really close to home because my sisters husband of 15 years is now named Rebekka and is undergoing gender reassignment. So this is an issue that I really do have to deal with in reality. FTR Rebekka is not happy at all that I still think of her by her male name. But after sixteen or seventeen years of knowing that person, that's just who they are to me. God bless that she is now Rebekka, but she was once NOT Rebekka.

originally posted by: KyoZero
a reply to: flammadraco

Actually this is an amazing day!

But...can I still have that drink?

Of course

originally posted by: hefficide
And in my book, referring to Bruce Jenner as Bruce Jenner shouldn't demean the person she is now. If that makes sense

Sorry Heff, it doesn't. She identifies herself not by the name her parents gave her. Mind you I would have picked something less.... IDK what. Less today? Caitlyn? A good solid Irish name imo. Kathleen?

a reply to: KyoZero

slap me sideways..

drink is on me.. I need it

i get pissed at and curse out inanimate objects all the time.

all the time.

if i drop something or any number of things and it does not happen to go my way.

i flip out.

happens all the time.

youre not alone