This barber will publicly shame your misbehaving kid with an old man’s haircut

originally posted by: ladyinwaiting

originally posted by: ScientificRailgun

originally posted by: ladyinwaiting
a reply to: ScientificRailgun

A bad hair cut? No. A hair cut in which a child receives by request of a parent to specifically to cause humiliation? To put him on display with a punishment that says "I'm bad", "I'm being punished"?

Absolutely. How is this different than the child who was forced to wear a diaper?

One: The way a child wears their hair is completely at the discretion of their parents until age 18 in the United States.

Two: The haircut doesn't put the kid on display as "I'm bad, I'm being punished". It's just a bad haircut. The only person who knows it was punishment is the child, the barber, and the parent. Unless the kid blabs that he got it as punishment, nobody has to know.

Three:

I'm sorry, but "timeouts" or taking away their games or cell phones does little to correct awful behaviour. I say this should be reserved only for those special kind of little brat that is simply unrepentant no matter what other non-violent methods you try, but it's an option, and I support any parent who does this as a last resort.

You are way, way off on this. I saw on an earlier post that you were hit on the face with a 'frying pan'. If that left a bruise or any kind of mark, and you were in the U.S., your mother would very likely have had the police and CPS knocking on her door.

I don't know where you live, and wherever it is I'm not criticizing it, but Americans won't tolerate maltreatment towards children when they know about it. It's a big "no-no" here.

I grew up in Rural New Mexico in 90's. And yes the whack left quite a knot on my noggin for a few days. But you know what? I deserved it. My mother worked hard raising four children almost by herself, on a minimum wage job. She was superwoman, and I had no right to disrespect her just because I was having a hissy fit about not being able to hang out with friends.

Regarding your Japanese remark, I live in Japan now. From what I've seen, humiliation IS indeed part of the punishment parents dole out to children. Be it wearing a headband that say "I did this or that" on it, outright shaving a kid's head (I saw this more than once teaching English to middle-schoolers), and other things. Humility is also a big part of the culture, but I did specifically mean humiliation in this case. A lot of the time, it's self inflicted when they slight their friends or family in some shameful way. I remember one instance when I was teaching, some kids decided to get together and rank the girls by order of hotness. Well someone found about it, and while not against any school policy, the kids were rightly embarassed about it.

The "ringleader" of the hotness ranking took all responsibility for it, and as atonement, he shaved his head save for a small topknot right on the crown of his head, which he wore in a "ponytail" for several days before finally going bald entirely. He was initially laughed at, but I saw something strange happen. People forgave him, and they began to call him brave, and honorable. Even the girls (after a few days) forgave him and said he was very brave to do what he did. I was floored.

So while humiliation is certainly a part of Japanese culture, so is also forgiveness, and acknowledging atonement.

I hope that sheds some light on the subject.

a reply to: Annee

I use a tall stool. I started when he was 3. I put the stool in the middle of the room. He can't touch anything, play with anything, and he's in full view. And he has to start the conversation, respectfully, to get off the stool. Works great for kids who think they can just clam up and not discuss their behavior. At 6 he already knows these words/phrases: personal responsibility, discretion, appropriate, inappropriate, manners, and "Your friend does not invite you back, their parents do"

...perfect....a bit of tough love and a lot of consistency.....consistency being the key to success....

Parents these days are far too lazy,parents who think they can hit or humiliate their children into submission really need to take a good look at themselves.....

a reply to: HomerinNC

God almighty... There is so much wrong with all of those videos. Parents trying to take control of the situation after they haven't bothered for too long.

A spanking likely needed to come along well before these videos did. I have never, EVER, witnessed behavior like that with my daughter nor the kids of those I associate with. That is unreal. It was like watching a car wreck honestly.

a reply to: ScientificRailgun

Well, of course it is. But when you got laughed at it probably wasn't because your parents purposely did something to get you laughed at, right?

It is the intent here that is misplaced and incorrect. I'm all for discipline. But this isn't even an effective punishment. In fact, it's likely to incite even more misbehaving from the child who now feels betrayed by his or her parents.

Did you think of it like that? I understand what you're saying but you're missing my point.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

And this is why it's so sad that we are having a progressive loss of American Values due to rampant individualism. Selfishness and an obsession with consuming media and culture is at the root of this problem with children. They exhibit the sickness of the society. They're pitiable and horrible and I remember awful kids like that when I was growing up. You see some always when you go out places, too. And you feel bad for everyone witnessing the family tantrum. But the family should then all get this haircut. If they ALL did this and publicly shamed THEMSELVES AS A FAMILY then I'd see no issue with this.

But to scapegoat the child for a parent's failings isn't right. The child should learn to behave otherwise but not be subjected to ridicule for his socialization.

Parents often don't like to be parents. They want girls night and they want to be on facebook all the time. They want to party and act like they're young--because they are--but once you have a kid, I hear that that's when that part of your life is over. A parent should LIVE for their child and put that child first always.

Which is why I don't plan on having kids any time soon. I'm still a kid myself in too many ways.

Kids are nasty. But I don't think two wrongs make a right. Send them to a military school for a semester if theyre so bad or to a psych hospital if it's out of hand. There's help for these issues. There's better solutions than potentially scarring a child and potentially making him or her turn to the dark side so to speak. Why would this teach them a lesson? I would have run away and wouldn't have gone to school. I love school. I'm an only child and my parents and I have quite an argumentative streak with many tears on my part. I've babysat for a little boy who always slapped at his mom. But you know what? He never touched me. When he tried, I remember grabbing his arm firmly and he struggled and cried and I gave him his arm back. I said, keep your hands to yourself, Hunter. And you know what, he never was anything but sweet and kind to me forever after that.

It's because when he did it to his mom she just flipped out. I didn't flip out or get angry. I was firm and totally calm. I looked him dead in the eyes. I spoke to him like a person who had a brain. And you know what? He listened.

No matter how #ty the child (sorry about the vulgarity but i seriously don't have another word to better describe my feelings on this lol) I think it's important to remember the role of the parent. Ineffective parenting is equally--if not more-so--responsible for the incidence of unbearably #ty kids.

originally posted by: rukia
a reply to: ScientificRailgun

Well, of course it is. But when you got laughed at it probably wasn't because your parents purposely did something to get you laughed at, right?

It is the intent here that is misplaced and incorrect. I'm all for discipline. But this isn't even an effective punishment. In fact, it's likely to incite even more misbehaving from the child who now feels betrayed by his or her parents.

Did you think of it like that? I understand what you're saying but you're missing my point.

I see your point now, yes. However, I still think this is a viable method of punishment, but should only be reserved as a last resort.

originally posted by: Spider879

originally posted by: longy9999
Bahahaha! While perhaps bordering on slightly cruel it is really funny, perhaps a couple of weeks of taunts at school will help kick some bratty kids into line.

I have two girls so sadly this form of punishment is probably a little too far for them

Denying them phone access works for me.

yep..

Called Amish Restriction

All I know is if I did something bad, and my mother or father did something to embarrass me as punishment, I'd avoid doing that EVER again

originally posted by: IShotMyLastMuse
I saw that not too long ago.
Frankly, it's borderline child abuse.
This is public shaming 101.
what ever happened to sitting your kid down and having a conversation?
Now even punishment has to be loud, public, and viral?
does the kid come with a "re-tweet" button on his forehead or something?

Its not borderline, it is abuse. And in some instances its going to backfire with a child committing suicide.

originally posted by: AutumnWitch657
Yes I've heard the phrase. It's from the bible which also advocates an eye for an eye.
Any hitting is abuse. You're way bigger and the child has no defense against you unless he can run very fast. What did he learn? That you'll hit him again if he repeats the offense? That's fear not respect. I was raised by an abuser I know fear, not just the beatings but the pinches, kicks under a table, the back hand slap in the mouth, the twisting of an arm while she spoke through her teeth if we were in public. I kept my hands to myself and had to try very very hard and dedicate myself to learning a different way.
But I'm not going to debate the subject all day so let's leave it at that's your choice and I made mine. a reply to: HomerinNC

There is a difference between an abusive parent, which your mother apparently was, and spanking your child after because they threw a temper tantrum, threw say, a glass plate on the ground because of the tantrum, and despite all your coddling and trying to talk them down, continue to throw a tantrum. You know what that teaches the kid? That throwing a tantrum gets you what you want, or that it is OK to throw a tantrum when things don't go there way. You CANNOT explain how the world works to a 7, 8 or 9 year old. When they don't get what they want, or things dont go there way, all they know is they don't have a toy they wanted. It's impossible for them to understand the concept of affordability and not have enough money. This could translate down the road when they are older to not being happy with what they have. It also shows them that when they don't get what they want, they can throw a tantrum to make others acquiesce. That is no way for a civilized society to function.

When I was young, maybe 10 or 11, me and my brother went through a pyro phase, we discovered matches and were burning anything we could. For one reason or another in my 10 year old mind, we took my sister's school notebook and burned it, she cried and my mom found out. Keep in mind this was in Las Vegas, a markedly dry place. And while I don't remember specifics, I don't ever once recall thinking of the consequences. I could have started a big fire, burned the house down, maybe killed someone. I was only interested in watching stuff burn. My Mom beat the hell out of me when she found out. (Open hand, smacked on the butt). Of course after this and for about a week I was put in my room all day. Afterwards though, I apologized, wholeheartedly. She then told me she was more dissapointes, which probably hurt worse than the actual spanking. She then explained the dangers of fire. Now of course everyone is different, but I know had my Mom instead pulled me to the side and calmly explained that fire is dangerous, I would have almost definitely done it again, potentially with disastrous consequences. Kids test boundaries, it's how they learn right from wrong. But if a parent can't catch something before it reaches a critical point, more drastic measures are warranted. Better to spank a kid now than have them go to prison later. If kids don't learn where they should stop when their gut tells them something when they are a kid, it can be disastrous for them later when they ignore their gut and Rob that house.

This is just the tip of the iceberg man. And ironically, based off your posts, you seem to be quite a respectable person. Not advocating corporal punishment on the level your mother inflicted, but you have to admit, it did some good.