James Franco and Seth Rogan Might Just Kill Us All!!! The Two Horsemen of the Stonedocalypse

Hello again ATS!

There are times to really sit and think things through, and then there are times to just say to Hell with it and rant ones posterior off. Right now I feel it to be the latter!

I have a serious thread about the current DDoS attacks, and posts in several others that provide all of the links to support what I am about to fume about. I may come along, later, when I'm not laughing maniacally, to add them in - but then again I may not. I am forgetful and have the attention span of a squirrel on NoDoze anyway.

You see... It's all technology. Our world. It all runs on two basic concepts, information and electricity. That loaf of bread you bought only got to the place where you purchased it because of power and logistic support - information and electricity. Hell, even if you're snobby and make your own bread at home - don't bother trying to diss me... You still got the ingredients the same way. Plus everyone paid - which requires at least electricity for cash transactions and information and electricity for credit or debit sales.

And who carries cash these days???

Take away those two simple things ( actually just one since information relies upon electricity ) and we're all stuck suddenly wearing spotted togas, sitting in a stone wheeled car trying to run fast enough to make it go!



Yabba dabba freaking doo! Yay for us!

The problem is infrastructure. it's all mechanized, computerized, sanitized, elecrified and automated ( the last two don't rhyme - cope ). We took our entire modern world and slapped it together with some CAT5 cable and duct tape and called it a miracle. And it worked, kind of, for a long time.

Then along came Seth Rogan and James Franco. Yup.

You see the world was normal. Bombs were dropping. Diseases were spreading. Prices were rising. The population was gaming, blogging, and pirating stuff... you know all the good crap we get to do when the kids are gone and work is done. We didn't really care much about race riots nor cities in the middle east being smart bombed into rubble. We said we did - but that's mostly because we know we're supposed to say we care. Well, except for the select few who say they don't care just to get a rise out of others.

It wasn't a perfect life, but it was a life.

Then these two stoners decided to make a movie about North Korea and Kim Jung Un. Fair enough! First Amendment, parody. God bless America and all that stuff. They were doing what stoners do... They were sitting around trying to make each other laugh and an idea for a movie was born. Being that these are two famous stoners? That idea actually got greenlighted as a movie.

THAT is when things began to go so horribly, horribly wrong.

You see, then some asshat, somewhere, decided to hack Sony, the studio that decided to let the stoners make their flick. Again, fine and awesome. Hacking evil Corporations! All about it. Except this time, along with usual ugly gossip that such hacks tend to leak - the plot to this new movie also leaked.



It's about two guys going to North Korea and offing Kim Jung Un.

Li'l Kim apparently has taken great offense to the idea of being killed - even if it 's not real. Actually can you blame him? They make him wear that suit and that haircut - that's GOTTA cause a lot of unvented rage. But anyway... Li'l Kim is pissed.



See! That's his "Im really pissed" face. This is no laughing matter.

In a sane world it would all end there. Maybe a bit of rhetoric back and forth - or the movie would get pulled - Or a certain short, chybby, rather grumpy Dear Leader would pick up a phone and call his homeboy Dennis Rodman to come by and hug it out...



But... NNNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! We don't live in that world. We live in THIS world. And in THIS world two stoners and a tiny Asian have brought us to the brink of the apocalypse!

Everyone is DDoSing everyone else. Private companies are hiring private botnets to DDoS anyone who they even think might have a copy of a leaked memo or movie from the above mentioned hack of Sony. The entire world has gone freaking insane - OVER A MOVIE.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I for one plan to spend my night outside, in the yard, screaming at the sky - begging the mothership to come get my ass off of this rock. I'm done!

I swear to God if I'd have written this as a fictional story two or three years ago, I'd have gotten laughed at and sent to the special room where they use the magic head electrodes to make you visit happyland for a few hours.

The ONLY bright side that I can see is that, if this all does go totally south, future archeologists and paleontologists will NEVER be able to figure this crap out! So HA to them.

Now I'm off to enjoy my electricity until the Stonerocalypse steals it away....

its a movie heff
i seriously doubt the world as we know it is going to end because of fat boy and dumb face

i keep seeing stuff about this...you know, # going down cause of this movie but i have been dismissing it...

is it really that serious? honest question...

all this ddos crap is cause of a movie that people are gonna watch when they smoke the sherm and munch out??


hell man, thats a plot for their next flick right there

a reply to: Grovit

Shhhh...Lemme rant!

a reply to: Hefficide

And meanwhile, congress is bent on fixing this problem, we're bent on popcorn and lube, and they are bent on watching us get f'd with our mouths full.

I was kidding about the first part (there will be no fixing here with this congress) and I'm glad I have a basement full of goodies that cover more than 1 amendment

a reply to: Hefficide

i like most of the movies rogen is involved in. pineapple express is my jam.
but
what the hell is with them getting naked together all the time? spoofing music videos and dumb face doing loads of rogen nudes?
i dont understand

So.... Are you going to watch the movie?? No?

I feel you. The sheer idiocy of Dear Leader's feefees getting hurt to the point that we are facing the threat of a stonerpocalypse is insane. And not normal insane either. It hyped up, tabloid flaming, gerbils with Tourette's insane.

Some folks have to poke anything they can with "The Stick". You know "The Stick". I'd hazard a guess that you've used one yourself on many occasions, you may even have the engraved version sitting by the back door... I do, but I digress. It's this thing we seem to have in the US with just incessantly poking things with sticks. Whether it's to see if it's alive, if it's slimy, if it will attack back... We NEED to poke it. A good sturdy poke helped found the nation... I'm almost sure of it.

So here we sit. We've poked baby boy Un with "The Stick" and we've received a reaction. How far will this reaction spread and how long will it last would be two good questions to have the answer to right now, but nobody could get the answer even if it were given because of the damned DDoS attacks. So we will just sit a little it longer and ponder.

Is this it? Will it be the stonerpocalypse that finally takes us out?

Tune in next week... Same batcrap crazy time, same batcrap crazy channel. If we're not here, I guess that's our answer?

a reply to: Hefficide

Why do you think the recent DDoS's are related to this movie ?

a reply to: Emerald53

Catch-up information here and here.

Sorry for the short answer - real life, dog eating plastic type crisis in progress. LOL

naked together
morningafter.gawker.com...

painting seth naked
www.nydailynews.com...

a reply to: Hefficide

Yeah...I have seen the trailers for this movie...how nuts is Sony and all the people involved with this movie!

The leader of North Korea I believe is going to retaliate; and perhaps he and his cohorts have started already.

Sorry. I have a half-wolf and for some reason I cannot quite fathom he suddenly decided that my surge strip appeared tasty and decided to try and eat it.

Crisis averted, puppy fine.

Then I click and find out that my favorite video streaming site is being DDoS'd - the intrigues continue. LOL

Funny thread, but there are some definite truths to it.

I think our world is totally centered around technology and information, as you said. If one were to disable the technological infrastructure of the West, all hell would break loose. Funnily enough, North Korea is probably one of the only nation-states which could handle such a scenario happening to them...

As for the movie, i honestly think that Kim Jong-Un wouldn't much care about it. Yes, North Korea has warned of catastrophic consequences if it were to be released, and yes, evidence points to North Korea or China as the culprit of the hacks. That said, North Korea has denied outright hacking Sony, but they have said that sympathisers to their cause were behind it. As early articles suggest, it was perhaps an external group employed by North Korea, which undertook these hacks.

I don't think Kim Jong-Un personally cares about his portrayal in the movie, but i think his wider government would. Kim Jong-Un is too focused on leadership duties, i would imagine. His regime on the other hand would be focused on retaining its image and that of their leader's. It begs the question why they would oppose the releasing of a movie centered on assassinating Kim Jong-Un. My only conclusion would be that they are worried that the movie may find its way into the country and alter the mindset of the people...

I think i am drifting off here though, lol.

Regardless of whether or not Kim Jong-Un ordered the hack; regardless of who it was who hacked Sony; i think it is fair to say that the event will be noted as a milestone in technological warfare. The hacks, regardless of the facts behind them, have opened up a huge can of worms.

So a crazy known dictator took offense to this movie? Who would've thought! How in the world did Sony ever greenlight this?

It was bound to happen sooner or later, for one reason or another. Lil' Kim hasn't had his panties in a wad, threatening Death, Doom and Destruction for a while, so this is no surprise. It is annoying though.

I kept waiting for the punch line or the clue this was satire...

Really? This is all over a movie? One movie? A James Franco movie?
What reality did I fall into?

a reply to: DAVID64

It's not just annoying... think of all the small businesses such as ATS taking a hit in their pocketbooks.

Best publicity stunt. Ever.

I can't stand Seth Rogan. He's far from funny and his movies showcase what's wrong with the young in this country, dumb, oblivious.

Considering the amount of talent between Seth Rogan and James Franco (whoever he is but I'll be prejudice and say he's a talentless infantile writer surrounded by a perpetual haze of both ignorance and marijuana smoke), this is a publicity stunt imo.

Seeing what his movies are like, he needs all the help he can get.

a reply to: Yeahkeepwatchingme

Franco is a decent actor when he wants to be. If you watched the first new Planet of the Apes flick, he was the main character. He was also Harry Osborne in those awful Sony Spider Man movies.

a reply to: Hefficide

I don't keep up with popular culture. I saw Superbad and I sorely regret it. And the other guy, Jonah Hill. Dear God what the hell is with popular culture....