Okay I need an honest opinion on a break up!

So my gf breaks up with me the other night, why you ask? Well this girl I knew and messed around with when I was 13 said some pretty questionable things to me on FB and I responded to it, because I knew she was just kidding around. My gf knows my FB pw so I felt I had nothing to hide.

Here's the kicker, I didn't talk to my gf for over a day 1/2, which isn't so normal because we are with each other everyday and these new meds I was given kicked my butt (stopped taking them btw). I did try contacting her in the time frame though and couldn't reach here either, I go on FB turns out her relationship status was single! Like wtf?

So she broke up with me because she thought I made plans with this girl for the weekend, which I kind of did but didn't take it seriously because I didn't even take it seriously, I would be spending the weekend with my gf regardless! I call she says she only wants to be friends over a FB convo with an old friend! I love this girl with all my heart, known each other for 15 yrs! Get this she says she made a date for the weekend, another WTF moment!

I could go on forever, there's more to the story, but don't want to ramble too much! What do you guys think? Think she was in the right for breaking up with me over an innocent convo? or do you think she is acting foolishly?

Sorry I realize I posted in the wrong thread, I don't make threads much but I don't know how to put my thread in the right forum obviously lol. So could somebody tell me how to change it or could a mod move it to the right section? Thanks I would be grateful.

reply to post by jheated5


You might love her, but obviously she has some maturity issues, and either is letting that get in the way, or she doesn't love you. The reality is, if she cared about you, she would have asked and said WTF. not just dump you. Further, she wouldn't have made a date for weekend unless she was ready to break up anyway and just used it as an excuse to justify her actions. Be lucky it was over a b.s. reason like that, and that she didn't slander you more then you deserved. Move on buddy. Do you have some blame, yes. You flirted, but its still a b.s. reason to break up.

reply to post by jheated5


A reptilian entity has latched onto her and is now controlling her actions. This is typical behavior. She's probably been abducted several times and even probed...in ways you weren't able to. Greys are said to be very handy with the probes.

She's currently on her way to the Orion star system to join all the other girls who have broken the hearts of poor ATS nutters who decide to ask for relationship advice on ATS instead of just getting over it.

I'm totally joking....but if she loved you she wouldn't be moving on so quickly and atleast have a decent argument face to face about the event.

These things happen....I nearly lost the love of my life because she wanted a change in life but we ended up back together and had another 2 children together, to add to the 2 we already had. Sometimes people just need a break too. Something different until they realise that it's not what they actually wanted. It happens....we're humans but we're also animals.

If she seems to be moving on then do so yourself.

Life is always interesting and every situation presents itself as something you can use to better yourself. If she comes back maybe you'll have moved on...and it'll be her bad luck.

And I so thought this was going to be a break-up over Video games. I lol'ed when I saw the title and then saw what forum it was in. I was like.....'You've done an all weekender with the PS4 haven't ya? The cats dead, the fridge was left open and all the food has gone bad. Pizza boxes and leftovers litter the loungeroom. This is gonna be some bad video game break up'. I'm glad I was wrong....you'll be fine dude.

reply to post by jheated5

Brother, only one thing to say. You are so freaking lucky ... that you will never know how lucky you are.

15 years and she's already got a date for the weekend? Trust me ... you are so freaking lucky ... that you will never know how lucky you are. Eff that beezatcher and get on with your life.. You're stupid if you patch it up.

reply to post by jheated5


Change or delete your FB account. 60% of break-ups are all a result of something seen or said on that network.

Honestly, I believe you done the wrong thing, in flirting and making plans with someone on facebook. My relationship of 16 years broke down because of what was said on facebook....not the only reason but thats how it started, she got chatting to a guy and things were said and trust was broken, and suspicion crept in.. easy to get carried away on social networking sites like that.

Facebook is bad news for relationships, you dont see anything wrong in what you did, and neither did my partner, which is wrong.

She is getting out before things get worse, maybe she is smarter than you realise, and is looking out for herself before things get out of hand with your "friend" on facebook.

Whether you had intentions or not, you have still ruined trust, and when you do that, it's a downward spiral to relationship graveyard.

Maybe you will realise that trying to pick up someone else while in a relationship, whether it be on facebook or in a bar is bad news.

She is just dating so soon to get back her control, kind of "if he can do it then so can I" mentality.....natural reaction to this kind of betrayal.

Sorry dude...it's your own fault

some women are so utterly insecure. Not all but some, and or drama queens. I think it's because of the mass societal brainwashing they have to endure which is far worth for them than for guys. Everywhere they turn they're being told they're not good enough in some way. Not slim enough, not attractive/sexy enough, will earn less, will have more limitations career wise, yet they still are expected to do most of hte work in a household and to raise the family which often includes the manchild of a live in lover who doesn't want to commit to marriage. So they get screwed up. People do start to level out a bit once you get into your 30's.

In terms of advice, don't talk to her or any of her friends at all, don't talk to your friends about her either. YOu just wait. Eventually she'll come running back once you show you can live without her. If you tell anyone or her that you can't, then you'll lose your advantage and you'll be her doormat. You have to show yoru dominance by just acting like she's the last hting on your mind. Go on that date you said, and don't talk about her on the date. Enjoy the time off as a bit of break. She will most likely come back soon enough. If she doesn't who cares, yoru better off finding a normal chic

reply to post by camain


I think you've hit the nail on the head with this one. Probably because that's the way I feel about it. The guy she was going to see lives in Chicago and we live in Pennsylvania!!! How crazy is that?

Snarl
reply to post by jheated5

 

Brother, only one thing to say. You are so freaking lucky ... that you will never know how lucky you are.

15 years and she's already got a date for the weekend? Trust me ... you are so freaking lucky ... that you will never know how lucky you are. Eff that beezatcher and get on with your life.. You're stupid if you patch it up.

Sad but true.

Agree 100%.

Listen to this guy...He knows.
"A week" - That's a Bad Omen.

Rest assured she will make a reply to my thread because she's an ATSer too! I really appreciate the advice and kind regards you've given so far!, I thought I was going crazy for a minute there lol Although I'm still very sad about the breakup.

reply to post by jheated5

she's an ATSer too!

Now THAT is interesting.

jheated5
Rest assured she will make a reply to my thread because she's an ATSer too! I really appreciate the advice and kind regards you've given so far!, I thought I was going crazy for a minute there lol Although I'm still very sad about the breakup.

Oh great!! So you went and started a cat fight on ATS?? I'ma tell you something, brother ... I'm really not sure which side I'm gonna pick ... but this might get FUN!!

ETA: My previous advice still stands.

reply to post by Snarl


IDK she still calls me and I told her she might want to look at the thread through other peoples perspective to get a better idea on how she should feel about the situation. She is afraid to look at the truth because she doesn't want to be hurt.

reply to post by jheated5



Anyway You can delete this thread? I would type that this relationship has run it's course. If You didn't ruin it by playing farcebook™ games You certainly have by initiating a thread on ATS™ and then have members "co-sign" Your bullsh t. You screwed it up, NOT Her. NoBody likes responsibility and noBody likes reading they are wrong. Surely noBody likes the taking the responsibility when they themSelf caused the wrong.

You can't "blame" anyBody or any entity (farcebook™) Now let's all watch "Mr. Ego" become involved.

Yes Virginia, a "spade" is a "shovel"...

Next relationship advice: Either keep Your passwords "SECRET" or don't be a dumbass and flirt around on that account.

Friendly advice: The "Yang" patriarchal crap is OUT.. Now is the time to embrace the "Devine Feminine" the Yin. A mother to One is a mother to ALL. Don't be a Dick. Cherish the next Lady and You won't have woes..
namaste

My guess is that she was trying to make a point to you if she made a date with someone in another state. I'm sure that you made her feel like crap for even jokingly making a date with someone while in a relationship with her. How can you be upset with her, when she only did the same thing you did?

Yup, you screwed that up yourself.

woodsmom
My guess is that she was trying to make a point to you if she made a date with someone in another state. I'm sure that you made her feel like crap for even jokingly making a date with someone while in a relationship with her. How can you be upset with her, when she only did the same thing you did?

Yup, you screwed that up yourself.

Okay did you read the thread? I told you she broke up with me without knowing it by posting single on facebook, for a girl that was in love with me so much she scheduled a date with a guy in chicago!!! A plane ride! She says it's only a friend and she can't cancel her plans? So what do you think now miss?

reply to post by jheated5


I did read the thread. You asked for an opinion, and I shared mine.

I believe that you said that she posted single status after you were flirting and making plans with an ex of yours. Maybe she's just trying to show you how you made her feel to begin with.
How is she supposed to know that the words you sent to another girl aren't true. You are pissed about her actions, but neglect to take ownership of you own.
Maybe she just needs some time out. Maybe she doesn't feel that she can trust you.

Firstly, it seems you made a mistake that you need to own up to! You seem to make a lot of excuses and double speak surrounding your interaction with this other girl...

Secondly, if your girlfriend of fifteen years just ups and books with no notice over something like this, then it would seem to me that she was looking for the first good excuse to get out of dodge.

woodsmom
reply to post by jheated5

 

I did read the thread. You asked for an opinion, and I shared mine.

I believe that you said that she posted single status after you were flirting and making plans with an ex of yours. Maybe she's just trying to show you how you made her feel to begin with.
How is she supposed to know that the words you sent to another girl aren't true. You are pissed about her actions, but neglect to take ownership of you own.
Maybe she just needs some time out. Maybe she doesn't feel that she can trust you.

edit on 20-11-2013 by woodsmom because: Stupid auto correct

Sorry there was a lot to the story I left out, I owned up to the mistake after it happened and I apologized to her a million times over, since we've been together so long I figure she'd understand she could be mature and talk to me about it like a woman but I don't even get that respect.

All I know now is I made a terrible mistake in choosing the wrong person ignoring all the warning signs and still went ahead with it... You can't say many people haven't honestly done that before.

Dude...

Point one:

Even kidding about some things is a bad idea. I know, I know, you did not mean to give the impression that there was something happening between you and this other woman, but on the other hand, have you read over your comments on FB and tried to understand what that would be like to read from your GFs point of veiw?

At the very least, that was a bonehead play, and you need to make amends for that, whether you two have a future or not.

Point two:

If you and your GF have had a long standing relationship, and have known eachother for fifteen years, then your GF should know enough about you to be able to forgive a genuine balls up on your part. She should know that your sense of humour is pretty odd (which I only get from the fact you thought it would be hilarious to make a joke date with an ex of yours) and be able to understand how this crap got so messed up, so quickly.

Point three:

If your GF has made a date with someone in response to this situation then a) shes either having a total meltdown reaction out of desperation and confusion, or b )she is being a stone cold *thing I may not say on these boards* and you are better off out of it if she is the sort to be doing that. If she is just flipping out like a ninja, then you need to wait until she stops long enough to talk to her and make things right with her.

Personal note:

To me, this situation seems to be non-optimal. Your GF appears to be very insecure, and you do not seem to have been very careful with your humour. This combination does not readily lend itself to a harmonious and healthy relationship between the two of you, unless of course, you are both prepared to work on the parts of your individual psychologies which rub the other the wrong way. The real question appears to be, are either of you prepared to do that? Are you prepared to be more careful with your communications? Is your GF prepared to see her insecurities for what they are, and work to be able to trust you? These are crucial if anything good is to come of a continued communion between you two.

I wish you the best of luck in finding out the answers.