reply to post by winofiend
Good points on some of the issues.
Sure, there's nothing wrong in my opinion with raising somebody else's kid.
It's noble, for sure (unless it's really just for cash, which could vary between countries).
And they're not talking about couples who jointly choose to adopt.
I do think it's problematic to say (never mind mentoring it to boys) that the definition of a man is somebody who raises another person's kid.
Is that part of the deal of masculinity?
Oh sweetie, one day you're going to marry a lovely princess, and then you're going to raise all her little boys and girls, none of which are yours
That's lazy, immoral women exploiting men.
I'm certainly not judging women who do have kids from different men (or "boys"), but it's certainly strange to expect some perfect man to walk into
your life and he must have perfect timing, perfect teaching and do everything really.
Actually in cases where the law has favored the rights of the mother to such an extent that fathers can hardly see their own kids, and the mother
chooses who raises them, it's downright sexist against men.
As far as the terms "kid" and "adult" go, I think everybody's actually talking of people who are of age, and legal adults.
That's why I find a whimsical definition of "boys who make babies" quite problematic.
It is infantilizing anyone who doesn't fit their description.
It's saying you could be 60 and still be a boy, because you won't marry a woman and raise her kids.
How would women like that kind of patronizing language defining them?
Do men have no gender rights?
How can men be teachers and never be students?
But yeah, maybe the community is the way to go, especially polygamy.
Although it's not really encouraging that either - it's shaming men if they are not every single thing that some women demand at once.
Why should men stand for it?
Well, they can only fail at something on that list.
And then what?
Time for the next one.
edit on 6-9-2013 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)