On Aging...

So, I looked at my husband the other day and what I saw really moved me.

I saw this man who was, in essence, the teenager I fell love with, but not....his face was fuller, more worn, more lined but - here's the thing - more beautiful to me.

How is that? I mean, in the shallow, superficial year 2013?

Everything that media and modern life tells us should leave me to believe that his teeth need to be whiter or his hair fuller or his skin more smooth. The truth is, that would repulse me.

The crazy part is, I still see that boy he was, he's just so much more now.

I suppose that when you see a stranger or celeb or acquaintance who is older or who has aged, you don't necessarily know the road they traveled...what caused that brow crease or jowl line.

But, with my husband, I do.

I feel lucky.

reply to post by kosmicjack


Poignant and moving. How wonderfully blessed you are - and know and appreciate it! Wishing you many more happy years together.

reply to post by kosmicjack


Wow, that's amazing. You are obviously in love and I can say that I have the same kind of relationship with my wife. She's pregnant right now and thinks she's fat, but I am probably more attracted to her now than when she was younger and thinner. I am also older than her and I can't speak for her, but I only hope she feels about me the way you do about your husband. I think she does.

Very moving, thanks for posting.

I had a wonderful conversation today with the man next door. He's 97 (!) years old, moved to San Diego in 1930 after he bought a Model T for $530 cash which included the license. Drove out here with his 16 year old bride on Route 66 most of the way and went to work for an airplane manufacturing company here in San Diego. He's been flying planes since he was 16 and still drives.

He still has the Model T, his looks and his mental faculties. It was an amazing conversation.

Very moving. Wishing you many more happy years.

Not sure why, maybe because I draw portraits, but I have the ability to see through the years. I always thought I should be a police consultant, or something....because I can see the adult, and recognize them as kids in previous projects years ago, for example. Same with the elderly. Also makes it hard to see the "now" person though, since my mental image kind of overrides the visual.

I feel the same way about my husband. He just has so much..... more.... in my eyes now. He was a hottie when he was young, no doubt, but I think I love him more now. Even with his little tummy, and some wrinkles, and reading glasses.

I sometimes catch myself feeling this and wonder- can men feel the same way about women?
I would tend towards saying no, except honestly? Through his behavior, he seems to appreciate and love me more now too!

reply to post by kosmicjack

Ditto here. I love my husband a whole lot more now than when I married him.
I didn't that that was possible. He's grown into a very good person. Not that he
wasn't good before. It's just that he keeps getting better. AND considering that
I met him when I was 8 and he was 10 ... I've seen him grow a whole lot!!

I thought of this song when you first posted this thread.
Starts about 1:25 into the video

a reply to: spacedoubt

Quite a late response but this is relevant to me. My wife is 10 years older than I, and in the "form infatuated" world we seem to live in, I'm sure that despite us both being quite fit, a keen eye can see the differences between us. We have been together for almost 7 years and there are sometimes differences in perspectives regarding life, philosophy, sophistication etc.. Our interactions have some dynamics that differ from the norm from time to time, at least in relation to same or similar age ranged relationships.

I sometimes look at her in much the same way you saw your husband, and I can't imagine being stuck in this existence with anyone else. At my last job there was a bit of a gauntlet of young girls and I say this with modest intent; some of them had been expressive of certain interests. Like any one that enjoys the spicier side of life, I felt many different things throughout it. Sometimes temptation, other times a little sense of being trapped that there could still be more for me to experience in this mortal life, but in the end... She is my absolute best friend. It was a short-lived, but relevant crisis for me. I got through it without doing anything stupid though, and I learned a lot about myself, my wife, and my life in general.

Every part of her is beyond precious to me. Her complexities, her perfect imperfections that are perfectly imperfect ( ) Her beauty, every hair on her head; every wrinkle, every habit good and bad. Her walk, her sometimes child like naivety about blindly trusting strangers and seeing only the good in people. Everything that she is just makes me love her exactly as she is, and as she continues to change. She is so beautiful, so very human. She is also tremendously loving, and very well suited to "counter" me, for lack of a better term.

The irony is that in theory, we are so different. We see things differently, I am very quiet and she is uhh. not. We have had our share of epic arguments, but underneath it all there is just something there that makes us inseparable. It's not that maniacal codependent compulsion, or fear of being alone. It's just something else I find myself unable to explain. I have basically been next to her for 7 years, living my life and observing her living hers, and I have seen her bumps and crashes as she has seen mine.

We are true friends, experiencing the great unknown together.